Sugarkane Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Why do they leave it until the breakup, to tell you your weaknesses and what's bothering them? If they're such an expert? I find whatever excuses they use, it's really their own weaknesses their talking about. Why don't they communicate earlier? 1
drpepper1886 Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 I agree. You read so many stories on there. Mine included. If they would have just communicated the issues things could have been resolved. I know in my future relationships I'm going to be doing some weekly/monthly sit down report sessions to make sure everything is out in the open and agreed upon. 2
all_cats_rgray Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 (edited) Who said dumpers are so great at communicating? Who said your great at communication... Many dumpers will do the act (dumping) when they have come to terms with the fact that they want the relationship to end. Dumpers (people in general) see the problems in the relationship but won't speak up and communicate in a way their partner will understand. So they start drifting apart away the while pretending to do their best, getting their ducks in a row and pulling the plug on the relationship when it suits them. Quite frankly, sharing a life with a person like this is a horrible prospect. Be thankful the dumper decided to show there true colors. Think about the last time you had a issue with someone, how did you deal with it. And be true to yourself. Did you let to boil up. Did it fester? Till you could not even look at the person without resentment. You become blind and crazy with your issues, and you don't see the person in front of you. You let lose on them, hurt them. And you feel great to get it off your chest. But you remember their pain, and feel like ****. If your mature you say your sorry. But .. yeah, they aren't mature. Edited March 28, 2013 by all_cats_rgray 3
all_cats_rgray Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 (edited) Sometimes I think they just didn't want to communicate because that mean work. And they just want out. They assume it (communication) will be easier with someone else. I asked my EX why he didn't say anything about are problem. His repose was "I didn't like to see you cry, and you would get upset" Real Relationships.. are a Work. I think he assume it will be easier with someone else. And its easier to say, "well that person was the problem" Edited March 28, 2013 by all_cats_rgray 3
drpepper1886 Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Mine said when I asked her why she didn't feel like it was worth fighting for and she just said "I just think if I thought it was worth fighting for, I would have already been fighting for it." But like you said, she has a tendency to run away from problems.
Author Sugarkane Posted March 28, 2013 Author Posted March 28, 2013 You say how do I know? From past experiences. From hilariously being told I csnt communicate, even though I was dumped by text after a year for eg. I have asked this but as always the dumper never gave me closure and never answered this question. Surprise, surprise. Who said dumpers are so great at communicating? Who said your great at communication... Many dumpers will do the act (dumping) when they have come to terms with the fact that they want the relationship to end. Dumpers (people in general) see the problems in the relationship but won't speak up and communicate in a way their partner will understand. So they start drifting apart away the while pretending to do their best, getting their ducks in a row and pulling the plug on the relationship when it suits them. Quite frankly, sharing a life with a person like this is a horrible prospect. Be thankful the dumper decided to show there true colors. Think about the last time you had a issue with someone, how did you deal with it. And be true to yourself. Did you let to boil up. Did it fester? Till you could not even look at the person without resentment. You become blind and crazy with your issues, and you don't see the person in front of you. You let lose on them, hurt them. And you feel great to get it off your chest. But you remember their pain, and feel like ****. If your mature you say your sorry. But .. yeah, they aren't mature.
RiceaRoni Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Sometimes I think they just didn't want to communicate because that mean work. And they just want out. They assume it (communication) will be easier with someone else. I asked my EX why he didn't say anything about are problem. His repose was "I didn't like to see you cry, and you would get upset" Real Relationships.. are a Work. I think he assume it will be easier with someone else. And its easier to say, "well that person was the problem" Mine would say the same...I think ultamately that's a reason he left because I would sometimes cry or get upset easily...
NewPerspective93 Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Some people are not good at being direct with the issues within a relationship, so they decide to talk about them when they've already given up on the relationship in their minds. I feel that maybe they might not care about the issue initially because of waning feelings towards the other party, so they don't bother to bring it up because they might no longer care about the relationship. You live, you learn. Cheers. 2
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