NotCamelot Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 No I didn't recognize her voice. It sounds stupid but she sounded young and pretty. I got a couple texts using the program you linked to, thank you and I got into his aol account and found dating profile log ins. I don't know what to do. You said don't ask him about this? I can't stop crying. I sent the kids to my moms and he's already left for work. I told him I was sick so I didn't have to talk to him. I guess I wasn't lying. I feel sick. The reason that it's best not to bringit up yet is because until you have hard proof they will just conceal it even more making it much harder to prove. After you have something, you don't need everyting, then confront...big time!!!
Author Underloved Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 My kids are going to stay at my parents for the weekend, I didn't say why,I'm too upset. I keep thinking, it's Easter, I can't do this now. But how do I wait? I could wait forever and this will never be the right time. I only found one email in his recently deleted folder, he must have forgotten to empty it, and then I spent hours last night going over our old phone bills. How did I not see this? It's been at least 3 years. YEARS. I'm such an idiot. I'm so angry I can't stop shaking but I can't stop crying either. Seems like they go out every night on his way home from work and then comes home and climbs in bed with me. Now I wonder if he's even really at work every night. I'm sick. Just sick! How could he do this to us?
waterwoman Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 How? Because he's a selfish tossed who didn't think of the consequences!!! So sorry xx
Steen719 Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 My kids are going to stay at my parents for the weekend, I didn't say why,I'm too upset. I keep thinking, it's Easter, I can't do this now. But how do I wait? I could wait forever and this will never be the right time. I only found one email in his recently deleted folder, he must have forgotten to empty it, and then I spent hours last night going over our old phone bills. How did I not see this? It's been at least 3 years. YEARS. I'm such an idiot. I'm so angry I can't stop shaking but I can't stop crying either. Seems like they go out every night on his way home from work and then comes home and climbs in bed with me. Now I wonder if he's even really at work every night. I'm sick. Just sick! How could he do this to us? Be prepared for gaslighting from him; he might tell you that you are crazy and that you are making something out of nothing. He might even blame you. It is amazing what can come out of their mouths. It is best, IMO, to have your evidence in front of you so that he cannot do this to you. 3 years is a long time and he has invested time and effort into his subterfuge, so he will protest. If you are sure and have evidence, you can deflect that type of conversation and save a lot of time. Sorry this is happening to you. It is an extremely difficult thing to face and if you have a really good friend you can call, I would. It helps to have someone to share it with, just to unburden yourself. I had a friend who would just let me cry and other friends and family who I would have been lost without. 2
NotCamelot Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 I am so sorry for you. I know exactly how you feel. A lot of us here do. Be strong, as strong as you can. Do not back down from the truth that you DO know. Be prepared for lies, lots of lies. Most of all remember what you want the outcome to be. Maybe you can fix this, maybe you can't. Try to have some type of plan for which ever way it goes......not easy.......think before you confront. I hope you have someone close you can talk to. I went through it alone......that was rough. I wish you the best. 1
Author Underloved Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 The old phone is dead now, it's not active cause we got iphones 2 weeks ago, so no more in or out. I put it away with my old phone so he won't notice. I haven't found anything on there that said anything but all the texts to those 2 numbers go back YEARS. If it was legit I'd know who this person is right? Plus the email was a response to one of his so I saw his words too and he signed it with the close we've always used. My heart actually feels like it's in pieces. Its something my grandmother used to sign her letters to my grandad when he was in WWII. It's been a thing forever. My heart to yours, wherever you be. How could he use that with someone else? Its OURS. Should I even look for more? My cousin is coming over. Thank you. I feel so alone now. I thought he was my best friend I'm such an idiot.
2sunny Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Yes, find all the evidence. Stop putting your head in the sand like its not real...it is real - and you're his wife and don't deserve him spending his time and energy focused on another woman. He needs consequences. What are you planning to do?
Steen719 Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 The old phone is dead now, it's not active cause we got iphones 2 weeks ago, so no more in or out. I put it away with my old phone so he won't notice. I haven't found anything on there that said anything but all the texts to those 2 numbers go back YEARS. If it was legit I'd know who this person is right? Plus the email was a response to one of his so I saw his words too and he signed it with the close we've always used. My heart actually feels like it's in pieces. Its something my grandmother used to sign her letters to my grandad when he was in WWII. It's been a thing forever. My heart to yours, wherever you be. How could he use that with someone else? Its OURS. Should I even look for more? My cousin is coming over. Thank you. I feel so alone now. I thought he was my best friend I'm such an idiot. No, no, no...you are not an idiot. There is nothing wrong with believing the person you love and believe will always have your back. HE is the idiot, not you. I'm glad your cousin is coming over. It really helps to have a person to share with. Let us know how you are.
NotCamelot Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Try to find more if you can. If you can't, don't let him know how little you found...just let him assume you know more. 1
Author Underloved Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 I don't know what I'm going to do. Tonight I'm going to try and sleep because I havne't and I can't think. I don't know what to do. I think I'm going to talk to him tomorrow or should I try and record him first? My cousin said she was going to try and find a recorder for me. I thought recording him was a great idea. If I think about it I know there are times he's on the phone when he pulls in but I never asked who he was talking to. :mad:How do you start a conversation about this? How do I even tell him what I know?
2sunny Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Protect yourself first. Did you move money? Close his credit cards? Change the locks? After doing that expose away! Then make sure he doesn't come home. Devise a plan... Stick to your evidence that he's been spending time and energy on a woman outside of your marriage! Be strong! Get busy! You have work to do Charge the old phone! Get busy taking action to protect yourself and your future!
Author Underloved Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 All but 1 cc is in my name, he's never been very good with money. Most of the bills are in my name too though. Shouldn't I talk to him before I change the locks? I need to change my direct deposit. I can transfer money in less than 5 min from our account. It's set up to transfer from our main acct to mine but not that way from mine to his cause he's bad with money. I don't feel strong. I feel sick.
2sunny Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 All but 1 cc is in my name, he's never been very good with money. Most of the bills are in my name too though. Shouldn't I talk to him before I change the locks? I need to change my direct deposit. I can transfer money in less than 5 min from our account. It's set up to transfer from our main acct to mine but not that way from mine to his cause he's bad with money. I don't feel strong. I feel sick. Yes close them. If he's bad with money - he's gonna spend as soon as he finds out you know! Get the direct deposit diverted to the acct in your name. If he needs money - that's his problem to figure that out! He's been cheating! He needs to suffer consequences. Protect yourself from the man who disregarded and disrespected you. Remember - he lies! He's been lying! He will continue to lie. Don't believe a word the liar says! Take care of you now, your future, your life!!!
Blondie1 Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 I don't feel strong. I feel sick. You are stronger than you think. Hang in there. Blondie
Blondie1 Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Underloved It seems likely from what you have already found that your H is in some kind of A. Is the number you found local? If it is and you have the money, I would just hire a private investigator. They will likely be able to get proof for you pretty quickly. Blondie
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