where to start Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 when people say they have reconciled does that mean that they have worked through everything, forgiven their partner for their affair, and everything is back to normal? or, does it mean that they have made the choice to try and work things out?
underwater2010 Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 To me reconciled means all the work is done. It should be in the process of reconciliation.
jnel921 Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 For me R is staying with my WS and working through the issues that may have led him down that path. Our love is still a work in progress. I think when I feel we are completely ok I will say we are healed. 1
Decorative Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 when people say they have reconciled does that mean that they have worked through everything, forgiven their partner for their affair, and everything is back to normal? or, does it mean that they have made the choice to try and work things out? I think it is fair to say you are reconciled when you have come to the point of acceptance, or for some, forgiveness. We are a long time out from the affair. And have done a huge amount of work. Life is really good. Really good. We are happy. It's peaceful again, and neither of us is tormented. I would call us reconciled. ( but I don't believe in forgiveness for this sort of choice he made- so if we were going to be waiting on that? It would not happen.)
Betrayed&Stayed Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 when people say they have reconciled does that mean that they have worked through everything, forgiven their partner for their affair, and everything is back to normal? or, does it mean that they have made the choice to try and work things out? For me "Reconciling" is the process (that you refer to at the end of the post). "Reconciled" means that there is nothing left to work out in regards to the affair. It took me 3 years to feel that everything had been addressed and resolved to my satisfaction. At that point I felt that we were stable. There is no more "normal" after D-day. 3
road Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 To recover a marriage is done once the divorce is off the table after dday. The process of recovery takes 2 to 5 years to heal. Though the work to maintain a healthy marriage must continue on past the healing years. Now the degree of healing can be were the marriage was better then before the affair. Or then the healing can only of gone as far as the affair ended and the marriage just limps along for the rest of their lives.
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