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It's not a breakup but it feels like one...


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Posted (edited)

So I've been seeing this guy for a couple months. He's 25, I'm 19. I think he's great, he's the sweetest guy I've ever met/dated. He comes to see me (we're 90 miles apart), he's hard-working, we can talk about anything, he cracks me up. I'm comfortable in my own skin with him: I don't feel the need to always wear makeup around him.

 

On Saturday I drove through a sort-of snow storm to see him, and stayed until Tuesday (yesterday). I was kinda sick to begin with then I got worse. He made me soup and tucked me into bed, after watching How I Met Your Mother for like two days straight. I helped him out with groceries and did a lot of laundry that he had laying around. :p He said thank you about ten times.

 

Well I've really fallen for him and a few weeks ago he told me he's fallen for me (said it first). I have 36 saved texts from him in my phone. Here's a few so you can get a feel for what he's like:

 

"I wish I would have met you sooner. :) You make me feel like nobody ever has." "I feel butterflies when we're together." "I wanna wake up next to you babe, and kiss you good morning." "When I close my eyes, I can imagine you in my arms." :love:

Now I'm crying cause now I'm so confused.

 

He has a 7 month old son from his ex girlfriend-- it was planned btw. She is a very angry and aggressive person, for really no reason at all. I have witnessed her shouting and screaming at him, a lot of it just nonsense. She's my age, and I have never acted like that. She left him to date a guy from where she was working, who is a registered sex offender, and my boyfriend has a problem with that because he doesn't want his son around this guy. I've heard his rant a few times.. "that loser piece of trash sex offender.."

 

A couple weeks ago he told me that he found out his ex girlfriend had a miscarriage: she was trying to get pregnant again, with this other guy. Now, I thought they broke up in November or December.. We got together in February. Well I was wrong. They broke up in January. Last night I said to my boyfriend "You seem kinda bleh lately. I really don't feel like we have much to talk about when we're apart." He said, "Idk babe, I'm just really hoping I didn't rush into things with you so sooner after, well you know. I do love you and all but my mind can't get off what happeened to me in the last 3 months. I can't get over losing my family and that was all I ever wanted and it was taken from me. Idk what's wrong with me."

 

He's said that a few times... "losing my family." I didn't know what to say, I felt like such an outsider. Then I didn't want to think anymore about it because I care about him so much. :( I said, "I think you need some space to think about what you want and if I'm a part of it." "I do need to think." He also said, "You deserve someone so much better than me. And idk how to explain, I just want to make sure I'm not with you just to be with someone." I asked him if I was his second choice and he said no. Then I said, "Well I love you and I hope you get your heart in the right place." "I hope so too."

 

My friend told me that he got with his current girlfriend last year a month after his ex did something stupid. He said a couple months into it with a new gf, he told her he was having conflicting thoughts. But now it's been over a year for them. I just get so sad when I think about it.

 

It just feels like a breakup to me because my last boyfriend was of seven months, that ended was I was 17. :/ Everything else has just been a clear rejection, not even getting to the "girlfriend/boyfriend" part.

 

I just want some advice here. I'm trying to give him space but not completely go off the radar, you know? I just wish I knew they broke up only a month before we got together... Then I wouldn't have jumped in so quickly. :(

Edited by purplepanda
Posted
So I've been seeing this guy for a couple months. He's 25, I'm 19. I think he's great, he's the sweetest guy I've ever met/dated. He comes to see me (we're 90 miles apart), he's hard-working, we can talk about anything, he cracks me up. I'm comfortable in my own skin with him: I don't feel the need to always wear makeup around him.

 

On Saturday I drove through a sort-of snow storm to see him, and stayed until Tuesday (yesterday). I was kinda sick to begin with then I got worse. He made me soup and tucked me into bed, after watching How I Met Your Mother for like two days straight. I helped him out with groceries and did a lot of laundry that he had laying around. :p He said thank you about ten times.

 

Well I've really fallen for him and a few weeks ago he told me he's fallen for me (said it first). I have 36 saved texts from him in my phone. Here's a few so you can get a feel for what he's like:

 

"I wish I would have met you sooner. :) You make me feel like nobody ever has." "I feel butterflies when we're together." "I wanna wake up next to you babe, and kiss you good morning." "When I close my eyes, I can imagine you in my arms." :love:

Now I'm crying cause now I'm so confused.

 

He has a 7 month old son from his ex girlfriend-- it was planned btw. She is a very angry and aggressive person, for really no reason at all. I have witnessed her shouting and screaming at him, a lot of it just nonsense. She's my age, and I have never acted like that. She left him to date a guy from where she was working, who is a registered sex offender, and my boyfriend has a problem with that because he doesn't want his son around this guy. I've heard his rant a few times.. "that loser piece of trash sex offender.."

 

A couple weeks ago he told me that he found out his ex girlfriend had a miscarriage: she was trying to get pregnant again, with this other guy. Now, I thought they broke up in November or December.. We got together in February. Well I was wrong. They broke up in January. Last night I said to my boyfriend "You seem kinda bleh lately. I really don't feel like we have much to talk about when we're apart." He said, "Idk babe, I'm just really hoping I didn't rush into things with you so sooner after, well you know. I do love you and all but my mind can't get off what happeened to me in the last 3 months. I can't get over losing my family and that was all I ever wanted and it was taken from me. Idk what's wrong with me."

 

He's said that a few times... "losing my family." I didn't know what to say, I felt like such an outsider. Then I didn't want to think anymore about it because I care about him so much. :( I said, "I think you need some space to think about what you want and if I'm a part of it." "I do need to think." He also said something like, "I want to make sure I'm not with you just to be with someone." I asked him if I was his second choice and he said no. Then I said, "Well I love you and I hope you get your heart in the right place." "I hope so too."

 

My friend told me that he got with his current girlfriend last year a month after his ex did something stupid. He said a couple months into it with a new gf, he told her he was having conflicting thoughts. But now it's been over a year for them. I just get so sad when I think about it.

 

It just feels like a breakup to me because my last boyfriend was of seven months, that ended was I was 17. :/ Everything else has just been a clear rejection, not even getting to the "girlfriend/boyfriend" part.

 

I just want some advice here. I'm trying to give him space but not completely go off the radar, you know? I just wish I knew they broke up only a month before we got together... Then I wouldn't have jumped in so quickly. :(

 

Your boyfriend needs to file for custody of the child, before CPS gets a hold of child. They don't look kindly, at children being around ex-cons.

 

That may be the avenue to continuing communication, by supporting him in a custody battle.

  • Author
Posted
Your boyfriend needs to file for custody of the child, before CPS gets a hold of child. They don't look kindly, at children being around ex-cons.

 

That may be the avenue to continuing communication, by supporting him in a custody battle.

 

Yeah I support him completely on that. I was a foster kid from 10-14 so I know quite a bit about all of the stuff that revolves around being a good example and taking care of a child.

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