MarkV Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 This is my first serious post in a while and I'm writing to anyone who is hurting at the moment with a breakup. My six year relationship ended in dec 2012 and I was completely down and out and felt emotional pain for months after. I never thought I'd get over it. Day by day,week by week it got easier. The best thing I done was to stop chasing her trying to win her back. I found this was a waste of energy and time on someone who just didn't want to be with me anymore. My defining moment came when I booked to go and help orphaned children in Africa. I had to break free from the environment I had always known. This trip changed my mindset on everything in my life before and helping others took my mind to different places. I came back with a new surge of excitement and decided to move house and studying a home course. I was single for 9 months and went on a few dates,this was great to build my confidence back up and to show me there are other people who want your time. I have since met a girl who is much more on my wavelength then my ex girlfriend. We have a great time together and I was once told 'one day someone will come into your life to make you realise why it didn't work out with the other person'. So what I'm saying is, do stuff for you,change your scenery if you can, help others (this will make you feel good about yourself again), don't go looking for new love (it will find you when you least expect it), spend lots of time with great friends, don't blame yourself for the breakup. I'm no relationship expert but hang in there ok,it hurts now I know but stay strong and don't be afraid to talk it over (your good friends won't mind that you keep repeating yourself),I hope it gets easier for you soon,take care 2
Damsel in Distress Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Thank you for sharing this story of how your break up led to a whole new life for you. I too keep thinking that volunteering and helping others is a key to healing and recovery. There are things important in life than wallowing over the loss of a relationship - being a good person and helping others. Let me try to attach an image I just saw on (the evil!) Facebook. For those who don't set foot on Facebook, it says "Our prime purpose in this life is to help others, and if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them." https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151517857379593&set=a.444686904592.204879.330829214592&type=1&theater I don't normally share these type of things, but this one caught my eye for two reasons. First, "don't hurt them" reminded my of my dumper - I don't think he handled this breakup very well, and while it was clearly going to hurt, I think there were ways that could be less hurtful (like telling me what was up instead of suddenly cutting off all communication!) Secondly, this makes the point of helping others makes us good human beings, and i do think it helps up rise above our own grief. I'm a professional and the type of work I do helps others. And when I am at work doing my job (not the paperwork days, lol) those are my best days where I feel the strongest and the break-up fades to the back of my thoughts for a while. Thanks again for sharing your story.
Wabisabi Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Thanks for sharing. I believe that helping others is a great win-win medicine. And going somewhere else for a change of environment can do wonders too. I have a trip coming up in May and I'm really looking forward to it!
denxnis Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 My six year relationship ended in dec 2012 and I was completely down and out and felt emotional pain for months after. I was single for 9 months and went on a few dates,this was great to build my confidence back up and to show me there are other people who want your time. How were you single for 9 months when you broke up in December of last year?
Wabisabi Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 The spell caster is here too - get rid of him!! LOL...click 'Alert Us'. I did that already.
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