lovelyde Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 (edited) Is everyone with their "soulmate" then? No body attempts to work out a relationship for things other then being a perfect fit together. Friendship and family relations are not enough for a marriage? Everyone feels that a marriage must have perfect sex or its not worth trying then? Just wondering. If you have children together and a lifetime of experiences isn't that worth trying to save. I believe it is. I don't want to live unhappyily ever after but I feel with work it can be saved. Honestly I am a little astounded at the respones. Are you married? Not all marriages are good. For example, I watched my mother get beat by my dad while growing up and he never changed his abusive ways. Many times while growing up I wished my parents just divorce because the abuse was not right. In my last marriage, my ex-husband who is not my soulmate, no passion in bed, was also a drunk and abusive and his family wanted me to work for them for $5 an hour Canadian. There are many women who have multiple children with many men. They may or may not have found their soulmate in the end. However my real marriage is with my soulmate. Though there are forces in this world which want to cause us trouble we must ignore them. My soulmate was married to another woman before but he wasn't really attracted to her, but just married her for the sake of social image since he didn't want to be a seen as a loser entering his mid-30's. Because he was never really attracted to her, he was a workaholic who buried himself in his work. They have a son who is doing well and in his own little world, as he never saw his parents express affection to each other or even spend family time together due to his father being a workaholic. In the end, his wife ended up having a sexual affair with another man. So they are no longer together. Right now all his attention is on me as his wife. I have my own money to retire, so depending on the him for finances is not necessary. The sex I have right now is literally to die for!! If I died at the point of orgasm with him, I'd die soo happily!! And I have to thank The Creator for making such a man in my life whenever I orgasm because I orgasm sooo hard!!! I'm in sooo much sexual exstascy!!!!! - Edited March 29, 2013 by lovelyde 1
secretjourney Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Only your soulmate can give you a strong sexual peak of orgasm. - I can 100% guarantee that this is not true. 2
secretjourney Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 So you and your husband are not made or meant for each other and should divorce as soon as possible. - Some of the things you're saying would be laughable if they weren't so irresponsible. Here is a stranger on an internet forum trying to get advice about her relationship and you tell her that she should get divorced because "she and her husband are not meant for each other"! You've never met these people, you know next to nothing about them, and you're telling them to get divorced? It's wildly irresponsible. You sound like a teenager with a very black and white view of the world and relationships. Before you go telling people to make massive life decisions, take a few seconds and think before replying. 3
Techie Artist Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Some of the things you're saying would be laughable if they weren't so irresponsible. Here is a stranger on an internet forum trying to get advice about her relationship and you tell her that she should get divorced because "she and her husband are not meant for each other"! You've never met these people, you know next to nothing about them, and you're telling them to get divorced? It's wildly irresponsible. You sound like a teenager with a very black and white view of the world and relationships. Before you go telling people to make massive life decisions, take a few seconds and think before replying. Secret, Lovely is laughable. You see she's divorced and remarried, so she claims to have found soulmate who curls her toes. Lucky her. Two abused kids have found one another. Rub our faces in it! But before you do, read some of the posts about two abused kids who have great sex and then flash back to their trauma. No, this forum is not for her. She needs a "brag about my love" board. We're not really interested in Splitsville. OP seems to recognize the error of her affair and is trying to make it work. According to some experts, MC focuses on rehashing the problems rather than fixing the problems in a constructive way. Try to find a counselor who can get you to the solution stage ASAP.
pcplod Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Lovelyde You are such an enthusiast for your particular experience that you could be a pulpit preacher or marketing/PR guru for it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that per se, but I think it also valid that others' personal experience from birth to the present has been and is radically different from your own. That is almost inevitable. However, it does not axiomatically follow that will be or should be the appropriate, never mind the essential experience for everyone. Allow a bit of latitude, flexibility in your public persona. That way you will appear less insane. It is more than sufficient to start an explanation of your view with something like: "My personal experience was/is...". That way, there is room for other equally valid experiences to be contemplated. I get it. You are in such a state of physical, psychological and emotional ecstasy that you are fit for screaming. In fact, you are effectively screaming. The only problem is that you are screaming at others. That's simply rude and tactless.
lovelyde Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 You guys are simply weird. I had a great day BTW. Ate my heart out. ^^ Can't wait to eat my ginger blocks (it's an asian dish) tomorrow!! Mmmmmm!! ^^ -
Try Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 (edited) My questions, he meets all my other needs, I enjoy being with him, I am just not sexually attracted to him. Anyone else feel this way? Can you change this? Can I make myself feel that sexual attraction towards him? As long as you are in love with your 2 year affair partner, your husband does not stand a chance of you being in love with him. He is sexually attracted to me and is happy with our sex life but I am not. You cannot compare exciting affair sex with sex with a long term spouse. Affair sex is always better which is why people that cheat get hooked on it. The affair partner has the advantage of brain chemicals that comes with the newness factor and the excitement of cheating that have been scientifically confirmed to exist. They also have the advantage of fantasy in that they do not have to deal with boring real life issues when they see you. You associate your affair partner in your brain with fun and excitement because when you schedule to see them, you never schedule them to do with you the less pleasant things that make up real life. An additional advantage that the affair partner has over your husband is that the affair partner gets to know everything about you while your husband does not; your affair partner knows in detail about your relationship with your husband, but your husband does not know much if anything about your relationship with your affair partner. Thus you and your affair partner have a more honest and open relationship, then your have with your husband. You and your affair partner have become the primary couple in each of your lives, while your spouses do not even know that they are no longer part of a real couple. Now that you have tasted affair sex, you are hooked, that is why many say that "once a cheater always cheater". You are a cake eater. You want the best of both worlds and can only get this at the expense of not keeping your wedding vow to put your husband before all others. You lie and cheat on your husband behind his back to maintain this cake eating lifestyle, and then wonder why you cannot have more feelings for him. You cannot have more feeling for your husband because he is the unwitting enemy of your secret affair relationship that you value so much. Edited April 2, 2013 by Try 1
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