jcm101 Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 And by "girls" I don't mean just one night stands. Obviously by just going to a college party and being outgoing you're bound to get laid. Im talking about a GF material girl. I'll be 21 and actually do what a relationship. I try and steer away from the party scene as most of those girls are just whores. Is cold approaching in the library creepy? Or is the other option just simply clubs/classes and such? Im a good looking guy not to brag lol, im not Brad Pitt but I have been called cute and I get plenty of stares at times. I just never know how to go about them.
grkBoy Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 OK, don't completely write off the party scene...just be selective. The girl who comes dressed like a hooker, gets too drunk, flirts with every guy...that's who you avoid. The girl in jeans and a nice top nursing a drink, never getting sloshed, not being a wild woman...go talk to her. I'd also suggest you get involved in things. Join a fraternity. Forget ideas of Animal House. Many guys I know met their future wives this way because frats and sororities will do social mixers. People meet there. Join clubs and organizations you're into. Do stuff. Be sociable. Women will notice. Always bear in mind three things though: 1) Girls who are capable of a hookup are also capable of being in a monogamous RL. It all comes down to how you approach it and handle it. Some women will reject guys trying to date them because they want to be free and wild. Perfectly fine...move on. Many more end up in hookups from guys leading them on, peer pressure, or the girls lying to themselves. Doesn't mean they won't jump at the chance if a cute guy wants to be more than a hookup. 2) Many men and women at that age might be iffy on long term relationships. Too many men and women now think they have plenty of time in life and thus their early 20s should be a time to date those "hot, but I'll never marry them" men and women. Don't get discouraged, but be aware of this. 3) Be careful if you're at an out-of-town college and both of you are from different cities. Often times these RLs come to an end upon graduation. If you're thinking long term, make sure at some point in the RL you two talk about what happens after graduation. 1
DontWorryBHappy Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 how about, how do I meet guys? I'm having the same issue. I wish I knew who the people like you were at my school and I would approach them myself! lol
Ami1uwant Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 I understand you are looking for a relationship and not a one night stand..... Parties are a good place to meet fellow college kids. Just choose who you meet. This applies to both sexes. there are the partiers who seem to chug beer and get drunk and then there are others who are there to socialize but are much more approachable for relationship possibilities. Get involved in student groups and organizations---ones you believe in or have an interest in---dojnt go into it thinking of meeting a date----some of these are the various activity clubs or volunteer based organizations. Then there are the fraternities/sororities. You also socialize with people in the classes you take. Not sure what year you are but you tend to see some common faces in your major related courses. in smaller size clases its easier to socilize. Dont looka at every one as being potential dating partners. Look at it first as making friends...then from there its effectivly networking to learn new people. Not all parties are frat driven. some do it in their dorm or apartment and are a smaller social group. From talking and getting to know some one relationships will develop from there.
Ami1uwant Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Another thing to add----college is the best time to find relationships. After college it becomes much more difficult. When people start therir careers it becomes more structured so its harder to meet people on the job. 1
grkBoy Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 how about, how do I meet guys? I'm having the same issue. I wish I knew who the people like you were at my school and I would approach them myself! lol Same things. Join a sorority, or some clubs/organizations. Be sociable, and guys will notice. Also be strong. Set your own ground rules, so if it seems all the guys you're meeting want hookups and you want a relationship, cut them off and let them see they have to "give a little more" to "get".
Author jcm101 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 Is it creepy to approach chicks in library?
JackD4niels Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Is it creepy to approach chicks in library? Depends on your approach. Done it a couple of times during college and you can definitely pull it off with the right attitude, but be a little bit careful - college is a small community and in case you screw up, gossip easily spreads around. You don't want to be labeled a creep.
ls32ssibm Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Another thing to add----college is the best time to find relationships. After college it becomes much more difficult. When people start therir careers it becomes more structured so its harder to meet people on the job. This isn't entirely true. It's easier to meet people but far fewer are looking for anything serious.
Author jcm101 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 Depends on your approach. Done it a couple of times during college and you can definitely pull it off with the right attitude, but be a little bit careful - college is a small community and in case you screw up, gossip easily spreads around. You don't want to be labeled a creep. So what would be a good opener? I guess the easiest would be if you see her studying a subject you are/did. But other than that, how else? You also don't want to just sit a table next to her when there are others open, then you would def. look like a creep.
grkBoy Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Is it creepy to approach chicks in library? Get involved in study groups. Be friendly, happy, positive, fun. This might lead to group activities, and suddenly someone telling you how their gal pal is totally into you.
Author jcm101 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 Get involved in study groups. Be friendly, happy, positive, fun. This might lead to group activities, and suddenly someone telling you how their gal pal is totally into you. I'll try to join some next semester. How about the bus? Anyways to start a convo if a girl sits next to you? That is how my parents met lol.
grkBoy Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 I'll try to join some next semester. How about the bus? Anyways to start a convo if a girl sits next to you? That is how my parents met lol. Sure...just do it if you have a real opening. So she sits down, you two make eye contact, she smiles, say "hi". If she plops down and has earphones on, sunglasses on, and doesn't even look at you...leave her alone. If she's not wearing earphones or sunglasses, sits next to you, but doesn't even look at you...leave her alone. If she doesn't seem conversational...let her be.
Author jcm101 Posted March 28, 2013 Author Posted March 28, 2013 Sure...just do it if you have a real opening. So she sits down, you two make eye contact, she smiles, say "hi". If she plops down and has earphones on, sunglasses on, and doesn't even look at you...leave her alone. If she's not wearing earphones or sunglasses, sits next to you, but doesn't even look at you...leave her alone. If she doesn't seem conversational...let her be. What about in the library?
SJC2008 Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 The closest I've come to a cold approach was asking out customers at work. Not easy but it's not 100% cold becuase you're already intereacting and can take a guess at their intererst.
Author jcm101 Posted March 28, 2013 Author Posted March 28, 2013 I feel the easiest way is through social circles, but unfortunately I only have one best friend and then a few acquatences as im always working weekends. One thing though, there is a girl in one of my classes who happens to be from my town. I never talked to her before and one day when I came in late, I noticed her eyeing me down as I came in. Not just one of those quick glances at seeing whose coming in late. Then on one of our exam days, afterwards as I was waiting for the bus I noticed her like stop next to me and then just walk away as if she was thinking on approaching me. I don't know lol. I never really had a chance to chat with her, but im thinking on possibly tomorrow if I see her by the bus again as I have an exam tomorrow. Do you think it's too late in the semester to start talking to her if I have a chance?
grkBoy Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 What about in the library? I said it. Join a study group, make friends, study with them and see what develops. I personally think cold approaching in the library isn't going to work. It's like the scenario of a girl in a cafe with her nose buried in a book. Big "do not disturb" sign up. With that girl from your town, take a chance. Chat, get to know her, see what happens. If she's from your town, then it means you two could possibly date beyond the school year.
Author jcm101 Posted April 17, 2013 Author Posted April 17, 2013 Been trying to cold approach in library, but just can't get myself too or to think of something. Every cute chick I see is studying and the library isn't exactly full, so it would be creepish to just sit near her.
Pompeii Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Just put your hands in as many things as possible. I've met a lot of people through extracurriculars, including a lot of my female friends. Even though I have a lot of platonic female friends, it may not be the case for you. You could probably turn them into hookups or relationships.
Esoteric Elf Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 The girl who comes dressed like a hooker, gets too drunk, flirts with every guy...that's who you avoid. I thought nearly every girl at college dressed this way. Sheesh.
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