oscaral32 Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 So my gf and I have been together for almost 2 and a half years,high school sweethearts, and now we go to the same university. We've been though everything together, including a year being apart when she left for school last year after high school. Now we're in the spring semester of our sophomore year and she just went on a church mission trip and came back totally feeling differently about us and said she needed a break to take time for herself and think if she really wants to be with me in the future.came out of nowhere. I dropped her off at the church right before she left and we kissed,hugged and told each other how much we would miss one another so it makes no sense.I miss her so much. At first I suspected that maybe she got brainwashed or found someone else. She said she still wants to be Friends during this break and told me that she isn't going to look for any other guys during this break because she just wants to be single and only worry about herself. She said something about being scared about getting Married at an early age and adjusting her life plans to cater to my needs, not because I asked her to but because she wants to be the best gf she can be. She also mentioned stuff about us being in different chapters of our lives. i asked her if she still loved me and she said that she did and would still anything for me and be there for me but shes not in love with me anymore. It's been 4 days since I've last talked to her and I am trying my best to leave her completely alone. However, when we were together she would ask me on multiple occasions of what I would do if she were to ever break up with me and I would always say that I would try to win her back because I knew that was what she wanted to hear. Now idk whether this break is just a test or if she truly needs time. My question is what should I do about this whole situation? My current plan is to leave her alone for a few weeks or a month but then eventually try to win her back. A mutual friend told me that she told him that I am the only man for her but she just doesn't want to be in a relationship for 6 yrs and get married at the end of it and is kind of risking the possibility of me finding someone else. Thanks
WhatYouWantToHear Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 My question is what should I do about this whole situation? You should move on. She is. There's no such as taking a break. She's passively aggressively breaking up with you.
Chi townD Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 So my gf and I have been together for almost 2 and a half years,high school sweethearts, and now we go to the same university. We've been though everything together, including a year being apart when she left for school last year after high school. Now we're in the spring semester of our sophomore year and she just went on a church mission trip and came back totally feeling differently about us and said she needed a break to take time for herself and think if she really wants to be with me in the future.came out of nowhere. I dropped her off at the church right before she left and we kissed,hugged and told each other how much we would miss one another so it makes no sense.I miss her so much. At first I suspected that maybe she got brainwashed or found someone else. She said she still wants to be Friends during this break and told me that she isn't going to look for any other guys during this break because she just wants to be single and only worry about herself. She said something about being scared about getting Married at an early age and adjusting her life plans to cater to my needs, not because I asked her to but because she wants to be the best gf she can be. She also mentioned stuff about us being in different chapters of our lives. i asked her if she still loved me and she said that she did and would still anything for me and be there for me but shes not in love with me anymore. It's been 4 days since I've last talked to her and I am trying my best to leave her completely alone. However, when we were together she would ask me on multiple occasions of what I would do if she were to ever break up with me and I would always say that I would try to win her back because I knew that was what she wanted to hear. Now idk whether this break is just a test or if she truly needs time. My question is what should I do about this whole situation? My current plan is to leave her alone for a few weeks or a month but then eventually try to win her back. A mutual friend told me that she told him that I am the only man for her but she just doesn't want to be in a relationship for 6 yrs and get married at the end of it and is kind of risking the possibility of me finding someone else. Thanks The bold tells me that something happened on that trip. There's another guy involved, or she's interested in some dude that she met there and she needs to be rid of you to explore if the feelings are mutual. Sorry dude. In my opinion, I think you're getting played.
Author oscaral32 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 Yeah that's want I thought so to but when I asked her about it she said that she said that no other guy had anything to do with the break. She promised me that because I told her to tell me the truth and that I could handle it. I've known this girl for a while so I can tell when she's not telling the truth. But appreciate it man.
Chi townD Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Yeah that's want I thought so to but when I asked her about it she said that she said that no other guy had anything to do with the break. She promised me that because I told her to tell me the truth and that I could handle it. I've known this girl for a while so I can tell when she's not telling the truth. But appreciate it man. Yeah, same thing happened to me, but when I found out the truth, I got the, " He had nothing to do with our break up!" Speech. And maybe she isn't lying to you. But, I wouldn't be shocked if you discover that she has a new "friend" that she's hanging around with that just happened to be on the same chruch thingy with her. Sorry dude. I COULD be wrong. But, my spidey senses are tingling on this one.
Author oscaral32 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 Haha sorry to hear that man. But I guess we'll see.
lovelyde Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Sounds like you guys weren't meant for each other ever. Only a learning experience. Find a girl who makes you excited in life. Find a new hot girl to impress. -
Babolat Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 I do believe breaks work, but only if you put a timeline on them, like 2 weeks, and you agree to talk then. My GF and I did this, and things were better after the break. 1
Chi townD Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Okay...well. the reality of the situation is that taking a break = breaking up. Sorry. Right now, she's putting a higher value on being single rather than being with you. So, you need to go no contact on her. Remember, this was her decision NOT YOURS. So, she's making the choice to have you out of her life, then you give her EXACTLY that. You need to ignore all texts, phonecalls and emails. You need to block her on your Facebook. She NEEDS to know what it feels like to have you out of her life. She needs to know that (by her own choice) you're not going to be there for her. She needs to miss you. Ignore everything and start living your life as if she's not coming back (because, chances are....she's not). So, you need to heal and move on.
Cogee Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 For what it's worth, the things Chi TownD highlighted are almost exactly the things my ex ended up saying to me as she broke up and left me for someone else (and she lied about there being someone else when I asked directly). I'd say there is a good possibility that she met someone else and is misleading you now as well. She may have been waffling on the relationship for a while but it's over now and there is not much chance of reconciliation while this other opportunity is still present. Of course we don't know for sure but just take it from some others who experienced the same thing for what it's worth.
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