McGriff Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Ok, so yesterday, I was really angry, ok past angry---I was downright pissed off. So I went to the bar with some friends. And we talked about the situation. Now mind you, my relationship was only five months, but it was intense. We spoke of marriage, her moving into my house in June (when her lease was up) and even had a pregnancy scare, but we were happy about the possibility. Anyway, you can read about our situation in my previous posts. We are 5 weeks past BU. so back to last night...I allowed my friends to bash her. I needed to hear it, I needed to knock her down off that pedestal. They did a good job. I started thinking---I'm 42, she's 27, I'm an attorney with a successful career, she's a piano teacher, I have a nice house, nice car, two well-behaved children, she lives in a ****ty apartment, with a bad behaved kid. I'm sitting here pining for her, hoping that my phone will ring blah blah blah. She is presumably doing the same ol' **** she was when I met her. Then it hit me----WTF am I doing? This woman had everything in me, and she didn't want it. She admitted I was a great guy, we had great times (at my expense) and really never had an argument. She up and dumps me for literally no valid reason. I was waaaay out of the box from the people she has dated before me. Not to blow my own horn, but she dated losers, I mean LOSERS. Her sons father is a 300 pound 30y/o with no education and lives with his mother. Her previous boyfriend to me was an emotionally abusive prick who disrespected her every chance he got, including in front of me. And here I am, head spinning for the last 5 weeks, worrying, wondering, hoping, wishing, doing stupid ****. Why?!?!? I loved this woman, don't get me wrong, but why am I wasting my life away worrying about someone who can't even give me a solid answer and has masterfully put herself in the position (through breadcrumbs) of having me on a string. Haha, damn! No more. Not a second more. She made a huge mistake, again, I'm not getting a big head here, but she a guy who adored her, accepted her bad-ass little kid and was ready to give her the world. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. No more. It's over. I'm moving on, and never looking back! 4
destroyed4sho Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Yes, I think having friends putting the ex down always works bc.they see the REALITY of the situation why we just harp on our feelings.and cant think clearly. Im glad you turned a corner and I think your starting to realize your self worth. Its only uphill from here!!
StraylightRun24 Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 As they'd say in NBA Jam....BOOM SHAKA LAKA! Good for you McGriff! I hope to one day get to that clarity instead of constantly beating the crap out of myself in my own head!
mtnbiker3000 Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Nice work McGriff. You really took a byte out of that crime Yes, seeing that you towered over her in terms of your positions in life must feel great. Unfortunately for me, my ex is just as, if not more successful than myself. And at 41, although educated, I am currently unable to work in my chosen field and forced to work at merely a job (not advancing my career as my ex is able to do right now). This has been an additional hardship I have been trying to work through. Kind of a mid-life crisis compounding my BU recovery. As soon as I get a little stronger, I am going to focus 100% on getting back in the classroom (I'm a teacher) where I belong. Might mean more training/education, but I gotta do what I gotta do (don't worry, not and English teacher ) 2
Damsel in Distress Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 That's great McGriff! Friends are great at tearing down the ex, and it really does change your perspective! And hey, give me some credit, I do believe I mentioned this as the one strategy I had tried that you didn't list in your Angry Tuesday post! I've also thrown in a hefty dose of downing a bottle of wine with friends while they tear down my ex, build me up, and talk me down from my crazy. That's something I guess men don't do, lol, but it does help, at least for a few hours. I had a much better day today myself. Partly because I had a very long productive work day to distract me, but for some reason even when I opened my eyes this morning I felt different. Yesterday I felt crushed, felt like a huge fist was crushing my heart. Today I felt more like "Good riddance, your loss". No identifiable reason, although a good cry yesterday may have helped shed some grief. Also, I think it was Am4Real who pointed out it was a full moon yesterday. Very glad to hear you having a strong day McGriff I hope it lasts a while. Stay stong!
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