Ex girlfriend feels like she's been used for sex for a year, wants me to suffer

March 27, 2013

I started seeing this girl in college soon after another relationship of mine ended. I was hurt from my last relationship. One night I went out and met this girl at a bar and ended up having sex with her that night. From there we hung out but I told her I was still in love with someone else and I couldn't have a relationship but I could just hook up if that's what she wanted. She said fine and that's what happened all semester. When I was moving out she said she loved me and it came as a total shock to me. It made her upset I just wanted to get out of their.

She came and visited me 3-4 times throughout the summer. I just wanted to be friends and I told her that and she would get very upset. When it became too much I said that was it and she went thru an ugly phase of calling me non stop and threatening to come to my parents house. Eventually the police got involved and it came to a hault.

Then a few months later we got back to talking. And seeing each other. I felt like I was brushing her off and that she was dedicated to me and had good personal values herself that I liked so I thought it would be good to revisit her and try to make it work by hanging out and re establishing trust and out personal bond which seemed lost.

Over the next 5 months and up to now, we had our small fights and good times. I didn't bring her around my friends or family. I just went to her place and hung out there w her roomates and neighbors and wed go out to eat and have sex. She feels like the fighting is cause we weren't dating, but I'd been comin to see her and I haven't had any relations with another woman in that time. I haven't been in a real relationship and she has lived with her boyfriend for about a year. I got dumped from my previous one cause I said I couldn't be her boyfriend and then changed my mind a few days later.

She feels like I have lied to her and never saw it becomin a relationship with a future. She feels used. She wants me to suffer because of it. She is hopeless, embarrassed, depressed, and feels alone even tho she has a good support system she feels like she defended me for so long and now I left her out to dry. I hate to see her like this but I don't know what to do. We've had so many times where I say it's over or she does but we end up getting back together. She says this is te last time tho. She won't stop calling me. She's unemployed. I'm trying to keep my life going but I'm trying to help et I've spent about 5 hours on the phone w her te past 2 days.

She says she's moved to the city because of me but all she got was wasted time cause were not together anymore and she didnt get to find anyone new. I think she had problems of her own she is blaming me for but I don't know how to tell her she's so unstable right now she rips apart everything I say she sounds insane and illogical. It's exhausting.

We had fights in the summer cause she wouldn't leave me alone and I'd be mean to her by calling her names over the phone to try to get her to go away but she didnt and now it's like it's all coming to the surface now. I don't want to be mean anymore I haven't been I've been me with her and trying to make it work for the past 5 months but we always fight over stupid ordinary ****. She won't let go or move on cause eh feels used.

Would love to hear some advice. I don't know what to do and this is really weighing me down emotionally it's very depressing and confusing.

March 27, 2013

It's been about 15 months since we first met. She thinks the sex is the best she's had and thinks I'm her soulmate.

March 27, 2013

She got attached to the sex, feelings developed and now she can't let go. The only way you are going to resolve this is to stop seeing or talking to her. You tried dating her but you obviously weren't into her. She is finding it extremely difficult to let you go so you have to take the initiative here and make it clear that you won't be contacting any more.

She is going to have to get over the fact that she saw you for more than you saw her, but that's her problem and not yours.

March 27, 2013

Yes I agree. She seems to have committed so much to me and although I don't know why she would I know and it feels awful to leave her hanging. She also demands talking to me. She is out of et birth control so shes on her period until she gets back on it which is probably going to be next week. She's like a time bomb waiting to go off. Seemingly entertained by my depression, worrying, and inability to solve the situation while growing more pissed at it.

I would be with her but she came on so strong I don't know if I'm being a loser and should just grow a pair. I think in any case it's too late the decision has been made and its been to just ride out the storm. But I don't know I would really appreciate feedback

March 27, 2013

Ya she wants me to set her up with some of my friends she's delusional she says she gunna spit in my face when she see me I'm afraid to stop answering her calls cause she's come to my house before and I live with my parent and she can easily do it again and make a scene

March 27, 2013

Thanks for the feedback greatly appreciate it would love to hear more.

March 27, 2013

Then let her come and make a scene. Let her make a fool of herself. If things get out of control get the police involved. Eventually she is going to realize how ridiculous she is acting and seek professional help or have a total mental meltdown. Just don't feed into it by replying sometimes. She needs to get over this.

March 27, 2013

Ok thank you. It makes me sick thinking about it

March 27, 2013

Ya she wants me to set her up with some of my friends she's delusional she says she gunna spit in my face when she see me I'm afraid to stop answering her calls cause she's come to my house before and I live with my parent and she can easily do it again and make a scene

You are perpetuating her behavior. She wants the attention and you feed her with it. Stop talking to her. Don't take her calls.

If she comes to your parents, and she gets out of control, call the police. Maybe that will scare her into restraining herself. Some women feel that they can go off the bend with zero repercussions.

I don't condone what you did in that if you were not invested in her, you should not have carried on with it, but I do see that she allowed herself to be used.

March 27, 2013

You should not have used her.

Paying her money for the time you wasted her should be sufficient as you were not serious about her, wasted her time and energy. Basically you led her on when you had no intention for marriage.

If you aren't serious about a woman, if you're just looking for a partner to get your rocks off, then don't do it.

Yes, this situation is your fault because you weren't serious about her and all you wanted was sex and someone to use.

She didn't think you were using her in the past, just now come to realize by your bad behavior. She sees that her father stuck with her mother. So that means when a man chooses a woman, has sex with her, that he's going to take her as his wife.

You're a bad guy because you led her on. You wanted sex without the marriage. Now that you got her all horny and she found out you're not committed to her, of course she's going to want a replacement.

So you do as she says because you screwed up.

Give her whatever she wants and she'll end this relationship happily.

Then take this as lesson learned to never have sex with a woman unless you intend on marrying her.

-

March 27, 2013

You are right... Nobody ever reads the fine print in the the dating / sex contract both people signed.

A biological agreement was made, and he just wanted sex without marriage and he knew he led her on.

Insecure men won't fess up to the woman they really want to be with, so they choose to just bang the girl on the side. But they don't want the girl on the side to complain about it.

Whenever you lead a woman on by having sex with her with no intention of marriage, you are entering a biological agreement to have children with her that applies to the laws of nature.

The laws of man are phony and are enforced by greedy people who are deluded about reality.

-

March 27, 2013

That must be some good stuff you are smoking.

To be honest, I never smoked a day in my life.

I'm sorry you don't have the balls to approach the real woman you love. Instead you just cowardly go off to the sidelines.

-

March 27, 2013

You should not have used her.

Paying her money for the time you wasted her should be sufficient as you were not serious about her, wasted her time and energy. Basically you led her on when you had no intention for marriage.

If you aren't serious about a woman, if you're just looking for a partner to get your rocks off, then don't do it.

Yes, this situation is your fault because you weren't serious about her and all you wanted was sex and someone to use.

She didn't think you were using her in the past, just now come to realize by your bad behavior. She sees that her father stuck with her mother. So that means when a man chooses a woman, has sex with her, that he's going to take her as his wife.

You're a bad guy because you led her on. You wanted sex without the marriage. Now that you got her all horny and she found out you're not committed to her, of course she's going to want a replacement.

So you do as she says because you screwed up.

Give her whatever she wants and she'll end this relationship happily.

Then take this as lesson learned to never have sex with a woman unless you intend on marrying her.

-

There's no way this response is real life.

March 27, 2013

Honestly, OP, you just have to cut off all ties with this woman. She's attached, you aren't. You're incompatible at this point and there's nothing that can be gained from further communication. It's not your fault, seems like you told her the name of the game pretty early and she agreed. It's not your fault that she felt that she could make you love her through sex. What women in her situation don't realize is that sex doesn't create emotional attachment for most men. Whatever attachment the man had the first time he has sex with her is what it will be for the rest of his interaction with her. But what a lot of men don't realize, or care about, is that most women get attached by sex. That's what creates these situations.

March 27, 2013

There's no way this response is real life.

This response is real life.

-

March 27, 2013

Honestly, OP, you just have to cut off all ties with this woman. She's attached, you aren't. You're incompatible at this point and there's nothing that can be gained from further communication. It's not your fault, seems like you told her the name of the game pretty early and she agreed. It's not your fault that she felt that she could make you love her through sex. What women in her situation don't realize is that sex doesn't create emotional attachment for most men. Whatever attachment the man had the first time he has sex with her is what it will be for the rest of his interaction with her. But what a lot of men don't realize, or care about, is that most women get attached by sex. That's what creates these situations.

Men should just go for the woman they want even if the woman is married. And men shouldn't stop trying until they either receive a flat out rejection or catch her.

That's much better than playing the dating game that society fabricated for us.

-

March 27, 2013

Men should just go for the woman they want even if the woman is married. And men shouldn't stop trying until they either receive a flat out rejection or catch her.
-

????????????????????

March 27, 2013

????????????????????

She is implying that society has created some 'dating game' that isn't right and we shouldn't follow. Oddly enough, she is also implying that a person who is normally off limits in the dating game should actually be included in it. I guess this is another way of saying men (though not women?) should up their dating game...

?????????? indeed.

March 28, 2013

Men should just go for the woman they want even if the woman is married.
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Seriously...wtf...???

March 28, 2013

I see your point there's a biological attachment that comes with sex but I had consensual sex with her about an hour after meeting her. I saw her glaring at me and I thought it was obvious what she wanted to do. I was depressed I wasn't trying at all and she just made it clear. I don't know if that makes me an *******. It continued but I had told her and she had agreed I can only have sex with you and hang out right now cause my heart was tied up with another woman. She agreed. If she didnt like it I don't understand why she says that " oooo I loved you by then there was nothing I could have done". I think. That's ridiculous but maybe I don't know women as much as I thought, which would be the new measurement for smallest size possible.

Thanks for the responses. I got a restraining order this morning.

March 28, 2013

I see your point there's a biological attachment that comes with sex but I had consensual sex with her about an hour after meeting her. I saw her glaring at me and I thought it was obvious what she wanted to do. I was depressed I wasn't trying at all and she just made it clear. I don't know if that makes me an *******. It continued but I had told her and she had agreed I can only have sex with you and hang out right now cause my heart was tied up with another woman. She agreed. If she didnt like it I don't understand why she says that " oooo I loved you by then there was nothing I could have done". I think. That's ridiculous but maybe I don't know women as much as I thought, which would be the new measurement for smallest size possible.

Thanks for the responses. I got a restraining order this morning.

It doesn't make you an *******. You stated your terms and she accepted. She decided to go ahead and have sex with you because she felt sex may make you change your mind and steer you her way. In essence, in her mind, sex could turn into love for you. Men have a better way of compartmentalizing sex and love. Women tend to associate sex with love. It becomes an emotional attachment for us. Very few women can separate the two.

Edited March 28, 2013 by geegirl

March 28, 2013

It doesn't make you an *******. You stated your terms and she accepted. She decided to go ahead and have sex with you because she felt sex may make you change your mind and steer you her way. In essence, in her mind, sex could turn into love for you. Men have a better way of compartmentalizing sex and love. Women tend to associate sex with love. It becomes an emotional attachment for us. Very few women can separate the two.

For many people sex means love. Look at the movies people watch. When people watch movies, they see that when people love each other, it usually turns into a "magical" love scene.

So in this case, who's to blame?

Also, why are you blaming women for being women? At a animalistic level, the woman mates and usually becomes pregnant with the man's child. So the man would need to stay around to help raise the child, help bring back food to feed the child and mother.

However, this society has chosen to ignore biological responses by letting the sex continue but using contraceptives to block pregnancy. So we have women going through the natural responses of trying to keep the man around after sex, because their bodies have been tricked into thinking that because of the sexual activity going on, a child is on it's way.

So blaming a woman for keeping a man around after sex and punishing her for it is wrong, because it is in her biological wiring to do so because the "child that is coming" must be raised, her body tells her this. And we have no control over bodily processes. We can't tell our body not to menstruate because an important dance is coming up, it just happens. We can't tell our body not to have a boner during a business presentation, it just happens.

So when a man has a boner during a business presentation that throws the whole business presentation off, what are we supposed to do? Blame the man for having a boner at the inappropriate time?

Corrupted men messed with the natural state of human sexual biology by introducing artificial blockers of sperm and egg.

-

March 28, 2013

For many people sex means love. Look at the movies people watch. When people watch movies, they see that when people love each other, it usually turns into a "magical" love scene.

So in this case, who's to blame?

Also, why are you blaming women for being women? At a animalistic level, the woman mates and usually becomes pregnant with the man's child. So the man would need to stay around to help raise the child, help bring back food to feed the child and mother.

However, this society has chosen to ignore biological responses by letting the sex continue but using contraceptives to block pregnancy. So we have women going through the natural responses of trying to keep the man around after sex, because their bodies have been tricked into thinking that because of the sexual activity going on, a child is on it's way.

So blaming a woman for keeping a man around after sex and punishing her for it is wrong, because it is in her biological wiring to do so because the "child that is coming" must be raised, her body tells her this. And we have no control over bodily processes. We can't tell our body not to menstruate because an important dance is coming up, it just happens. We can't tell our body not to have a boner during a business presentation, it just happens.

So when a man has a boner during a business presentation that throws the whole business presentation off, what are we supposed to do? Blame the man for having a boner at the inappropriate time?

Corrupted men messed with the natural state of human sexual biology by introducing artificial blockers of sperm and egg.

-

You give me a headache so I won't be responding to your post.

March 28, 2013

You used her. You knew what she was like (insane), turned her down and then decided to give it a go, because you wanted sex.

That is not a cool move, mate.

March 28, 2013

You used her. You knew what she was like (insane), turned her down and then decided to give it a go, because you wanted sex.

That is not a cool move, mate.

Yeah, you know what I mean.

Talk to men everyday.

The OP is a psychopath who gets off on being unfair to others.

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Ex girlfriend feels like she's been used for sex for a year, wants me to suffer

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