I lost her again..

[BrownBearthelost]

Well am not sure if am posting this in the right section but...am new.

 

7yrs ago I meet her She was great, she laughed at my stupid joke, she was smart, she was beautiful, she got me most of all. Jess understood me like no one else. The first time I was scared of her was because I spent so much time on the phone talking with her. It wasn't like I was talking to a stranger or trying to get to know someone, matter of fact I connected with her on levels I never know I could connect with someone. It was like talking to my best friend but I told her things even my best friend's don't know about. The comfort level with her was off the charts. The first date we went on I was so nervous but after saying hi she grabbed my hand and I felt a sudden calm. Damn I loved her.

 

So here the part I should tell you, she was married. However they were separated and living in different home's.

 

for 2yr's we dated and we started to grow apart I had moved to different state for work and we just started to do things to each other to hurt each other. We both cheated, We both lied about it. Tho we did come clean about it, to each other the damage had been done. She wanted to see other people b/c I was the guy right after the marriage. I didn't realize that was a fatel mistake on my part. She wasn't ready for something serious so soon after her marriage just fell apart.

 

Now it gets a bit nuts here, She started seeing other people and cheated on them with me. For which I didn't mind. In fact I would position my self so that it would happen. We talked every day morning noon and night. There were so many time's her then boyfriends would be trying to call her and she was on the phone with me for hours upon hours. After a year of this I just stopped. I was tired of being on the back burner. In late 2008 early 2009 I stopped talking to her.

 

Dec 26 2012 I almost died drunk driver ******* hit me head on didn't even realize he was on the wrong side of the road. Spent 6 weeks recovering. I had called her and it was like we had never stopped talking. Soon we found our self's spending a lot of time on the phone again with each other. Then She told me 2 weeks ago that she was dating her husband they have been living together for a year, turn's out they never signed the papers just couldn't bring themself's to do it. She asked me not to text email or call her again.

Her husband looked on her phone and saw my number there and he told her he didn't want her to talk to me ever again. She told him that she loved me this was while we were dating he tried to get back together with her she turned him down b/c she loved me. So she told me she wants her family back

Oh yeah they have two kids together. So I understand her. And its been hard.

I love her, but I also know how important family is to her.

 

I miss her very much.

Edited March 27, 2013 by BrownBearthelost

[Am4Real]

It doesn't look like you are asking for advice and realize what all of this was.

 

Sorry for your pain, I am.

 

Hopefully, you are able to put this into perspective and see none of it was about you (except that you cheated as well) as there seems to be a series and I mean a series of deeply rooted issues at play with this woman.

 

Good luck.