Jump to content

Dealing with breadcrumbs


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

Hey all,

 

Just wondering what the hell I should do when he texts me? I'm serious about the NC thing now, but I don't know if it's best to address it and let him know how I feel (hoping to stop the breadcrumbs) or if it's best to just ignore them and leave it alone?

 

Example: I got a "How's everything going?" text this morning. Didn't have a clue what to do. Texted back basically just restating what I'd told him about NC before. Was that correct?

 

Thanks!

Posted (edited)

I'll be honest, I think saying NC while you're breaking NC by saying NC defeats your own decision and effort.

 

It is hard though.. I got the same yesterday, a 'polite' breadcrumb, and an angry one (why the fk are you ignoring me) today. I won't honor that with a reply, I won't give him the pleasure of seeing my name again in his inbox, under any circumstances (it feels good to slowly get back some of my pride :laugh:). Some days ago I wrote a long list of why things ended for me, detailed sequence of events, and I re-read it this morning because I felt my heart rush the moment I saw his name and it was obvious that he's not doing good. After reading it I felt more confident not to reply. It also worked reminding myself the nausea I felt when I saw him texting me how he would never walk away from me while his girlfriend thing was putting up pictures 'live from his bed' at the same time, I remembered the wreck I was at the library's restroom, in a cab, in my aunt's arms, in my mom's arms!, in coma at my best friend's apartment, the insomnia I experienced for the first time, the deep agony I've been immersed in for weeks, the fact that I can't go a single day without tearing up. I don't want to be like him and "care" by not showing that I care, that's probably the only reason why I felt tempted to reply today, but frankly, he made his bed, he brought someone to that bed.. now lie in it, bastard. He may need the ego massage, but he doesn't need me.

Edited by lop98
  • Like 1
Posted

Don't respond. NC means NC and if you do you are either giving yourself/or him some sort of hope that some agreement can be made and/or the impression that one or the other cares. As lop98 said, write down all the reasons why it didn't work, why it is essential for you to stay away, and stick to it.

Posted

I think it probably is best to let them know of your intentions. Do it with a simple text message. That you are not responding because you are removing yourself so you can move on and that simple meaningless contact is detrimental to the process. Politely ask the other person to respect your wishes.

'

If you dont and ignore it they are going to likely keep on doing it. Is that what you really want?

 

TFOY

  • Like 1
Posted
Hey all,

 

Just wondering what the hell I should do when he texts me? I'm serious about the NC thing now, but I don't know if it's best to address it and let him know how I feel (hoping to stop the breadcrumbs) or if it's best to just ignore them and leave it alone?

 

Example: I got a "How's everything going?" text this morning. Didn't have a clue what to do. Texted back basically just restating what I'd told him about NC before. Was that correct?

 

Thanks!

 

I think if you already told him once that you want NC, then you should ignore any further attempts he makes to contact you. He knows why you're not responding, and he's not respecting your wishes.

  • Like 1
Posted

Guess you could do what TaraMaiden suggested. Whenever he texts you, you send him this msg "Your message could not be delivered because the recipient has blocked this number." He'll get the hint sooner or later I guess.

Posted

I would reply with your intentions delineating of how communication between you two is detrimental to your moving on, and how it's holding you back.

 

Then go no contact.

 

Cheers.

×
×
  • Create New...