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I was duped

SJC2008

By SJC2008
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dasein Established Member

dasein

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She's HUGE in that dress picture, which shows that she has no waist whatsoever in comparison to the mirror. Her body is totally filling out that dress, it ain't the dress that's unflattering. She looks about 40 pounds heavier in the dress picture than the mirror. No idea how people can say they can't tell a difference. Her arms look significantly fatter in the dress too.

 

Yes, she misrepresented herself, she herself knows she is doing that, which is exactly why she brings up the "big girl" question. If her profile pics were accurate, she would never do that, and would just go forward with the meet. That she asks the "big girl" question also signals that she has had bad reactions in the past, and -still- uses the inaccurate profile.

 

You are totally within your rights to cancel any date plans and move onto profiles who post accurate pics. You are doing nothing at all wrong in that, just tell her whatever brushoff is most polite and move on.

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ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

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Yeah, she's a big girl :p. She's not bad though, I'd probably still date at least.

 

Do you, my friend ;). I don't see much difference between the two photos either, she looks the same in both of them.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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She's HUGE in that dress picture, which shows that she has no waist whatsoever in comparison to the mirror. Her body is totally filling out that dress, it ain't the dress that's unflattering. She looks about 40 pounds heavier in the dress picture than the mirror. No idea how people can say they can't tell a difference. Her arms look significantly fatter in the dress too.

 

No offense, but you have no clue about how that dress fits. I have one just like it. An empire waist dress will NOT show definition in the waist, no matter how thin the waist is.

 

I think she looks decidedly thinner in the dress than in the PJs.

 

Either way, she's a big girl, and the OP is picking on a matter of 5-10 pounds, which on her frame barely shows.

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SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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No offense, but you have no clue about how that dress fits. I have one just like it. An empire waist dress will NOT show definition in the waist, no matter how thin the waist is.

 

I think she looks decidedly thinner in the dress than in the PJs.

 

Either way, she's a big girl, and the OP is picking on a matter of 5-10 pounds, which on her frame barely shows.

 

Well in my mind there's more than a 10 pound difference between the pics. When she sent the dress pic my jaw hit the floor. If they're so similar why did I not message her over the mirror pic? Her only full body pic mind you. If she thinks everything is kosher than why did she ask if I like bigger girls a few days after messaging like Dasien said?

 

I don't understand why women do this. People see you everyday IRL but online they put only face pics like we're just floating heads in public or something.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Well in my mind there's more than a 10 pound difference between the pics. When she sent the dress pic my jaw hit the floor. If they're so similar why did I not message her over the mirror pic? Her only full body pic mind you. If she thinks everything is kosher than why did she ask if I like bigger girls a few days after messaging like Dasien said?

 

I don't understand why women do this. People see you everyday IRL but online they put only face pics like we're just floating heads in public or something.

 

And in MY mind and the mind of most women who know how empire waist dresses fit, there's virtually no difference between the two photos, and if there is a difference, the PJ photo is where she's actually bigger.

 

I'm telling you, I wore a dress cut very similar to a wedding last year and I was mortified when I saw the pictures because I had virtually no shape.

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SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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And in MY mind and the mind of most women who know how empire waist dresses fit, there's virtually no difference between the two photos, and if there is a difference, the PJ photo is where she's actually bigger.

 

I'm telling you, I wore a dress cut very similar to a wedding last year and I was mortified when I saw the pictures because I had virtually no shape.

 

Exactly! The women are taking account if how it fits and that some dresses can do a dis-servcie to a womans figure. It's black and white, picture A vs picture B. It's not "Oh well these dresses..." There is NO way she looks bigger in the mirror pic. Her stomach looks flatter in the mirror pic than in the pic if the last girl I dated. Or is it because it's so dim I can't tell?

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Exactly! The women are taking account if how it fits and that some dresses can do a dis-servcie to a womans figure. It's black and white, picture A vs picture B. It's not "Oh well these dresses..." There is NO way she looks bigger in the mirror pic. Her stomach looks flatter in the mirror pic than in the pic if the last girl I dated. Or is it because it's so dim I can't tell?

 

She looks majorly LUMPY in the midsection to me in the PJ picture, especially compared to the girl with the guy. I honestly thought you felt duped in that you received the PJ picture second!

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KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

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Pictures might be unkind, but you also have to take into consideration that whatever pic she sent to you, was the BEST OF THE BUNCH.

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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I see no difference whatsoever WTF?

 

I also don't see much difference between her and your ex who you were crazy about. They are in the same ballpark.

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SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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I see no difference whatsoever WTF?

 

I also don't see much difference between her and your ex who you were crazy about. They are in the same ballpark.

 

Wow so now the pics are so similar it's WTF? Ok

 

Yes my "ex" may be similar but I was way more attracted to her figure. She's a full figured woman with flattering proportions.

Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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Wow so now the pics are so similar it's WTF? Ok

 

Yes my "ex" may be similar but I was way more attracted to her figure. She's a full figured woman with flattering proportions.

 

That I will agree with.

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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She's a full figured woman with flattering proportions.

 

Agree. Your ex looks curvy in that photo.

 

As for the other two pics, maybe it took you another one to realise she wasn't for you. Nothing wrong with that. Something similar happened to me once, quite recently. I knew the guy was a bit chubby, once I saw his facebook photos it made me realise really just how much bigger he was than I was comfortable with. Nothing wrong with that OP.

KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

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Oh Please. Asking a guy "Sooo...do you like tall girls?" in a flirty, fun way is not acting insecure. Or when they're asking about what I look like, saying something cute like "Well if you prefer big chests, then I'm probably not the girl for you" in a lighthearted way, is not being insecure.

 

Not everything is about insecurity. It can just be playful and fun. There's nothing wrong with asking a prospective partner about their tastes, likes, dislikes, etc.

 

The first statement about liking tall girls is ok.

 

The second one about "...then I'm not the girl for you" sounds very insecure to me.

 

I just know that, as a guy, if a woman said something like that to me, I would be turned off.

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soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

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OP, too much time is being spent on this issue for you! Just tell her you're not interested and move on.

 

You're not into her and the decent thing to do is to move on.

dasein Established Member

dasein

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No offense, but you have no clue about how that dress fits. I have one just like it.

 

I've seen many women wearing such dresses, dated some who had such. They don't flatter the waist, I know this full well. The woman has -no waist- in the dress picture but at least something of one in the mirror.

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Oh Please. Asking a guy "Sooo...do you like tall girls?" in a flirty, fun way is not acting insecure. Or when they're asking about what I look like, saying something cute like "Well if you prefer big chests, then I'm probably not the girl for you" in a lighthearted way, is not being insecure.

 

Not everything is about insecurity. It can just be playful and fun. There's nothing wrong with asking a prospective partner about their tastes, likes, dislikes, etc.

 

No guy ever would take a girl's comments on her chest as light hearted. They know what you are getting at, don't do it. You think you know how you come across but on text especially it's obvious that you are fishing for compliments/are insecure. You are not putting yourself in a good position this way.

Barnacle-Bob Established Member

Barnacle-Bob

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I'm getting confused here.

 

Is the girl in question the girl in the dress? If so, how were you duped? She's clearly not a small girl, and I don't think any amount of trick photography is going to conceal that or minimize/alter her proportions.

 

Not to mention, she appears to essentially be the same girl as your ex. I don't know....I guess I don't see what the issue is. This girl doesn't owe you anything. And, it only takes about 30 seconds of doing OLD to figure out that misrepresentation is the name of he game. You have to know going in that what you see will probably not be what you get.

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Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Well the guy I said it to absolutely DID take it light hearted. You cannot speak for all men.

 

And i would never ever say a comment like that (or even the "tall girl" one) on text. It was said over the phone, so he could tell I was not being insecure, but was being funny, and really just honest. I mean, I'm just saying what I look like. I'm completely open talking about my body, and people's like/dislikes. Many many men adore smaller chests, so why would I be insecure about them?

 

The tall comment is one thing, height isn't usually an issue for women. However it is commonly known amongst men that women are often insecure about their breasts, which is why boob jobs are prevelant. The man you are flirting with would not know you well enough and would not know how you feel about your appearance really. It is best to leave anything that can be easily misconstrued until you know each other well. It is your choice of course.

Sivok Established Member

Sivok

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Man it's not on you that she didn't properly represent herself in her pics. She's the one setting herself up for hurt. I've seen this strat used in OLD plenty of times:

 

The girl will post older or exaggerated angled pics of herself and try her best to make you feel an emotional connection to her before meeting your or revealing her true image to you.

 

You like what you like - and you're in much better shape than she is. It's not your fault she wasn't honest about herself. Just be blunt but tactful about it - it would be alot worse if you went out with her if you weren't attracted.

MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

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Forget her size. What did she say when you called her on initiating contact twice a day as if you are already in a relationship? This bothers me more. Clingy, needy.............

StarsOnFire Established Member

StarsOnFire

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I don't see a difference in the pictures you put up of her. I don't think either of them are flattering. I do agree she has a more unflattering stance, and angle in the dress picture. It's straight on and you can see more of the top of her arms and whatnot. I really don't feel like she tried to dupe you, you can see in the mirror picture she's a bigger girl.

 

I agree with you, that you should meet her in person and see if you get along with her or not. She's obviously a bigger girl, but neither those pictures shows her in every day clothes. If she dresses for her body-type, it could be less of an issue for you. Although I think you already know she's just not physically your type (which is perfectly fine, as you should be attracted to the person you're dating), and you might not even want to waste the time.

Edited by StarsOnFire
Barnacle-Bob Established Member

Barnacle-Bob

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This is an odd conversation. I still don't get it.

KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

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KFJ -- i dont think you can unilaterally say you'd be turned off by that statement, w/o knowing the person or context or intonnation.

 

I am not insecure about my chest at all - I love having smaller boobs.

 

If anything, I think it shows your open about discussing sexuality, body types, etc -- the opposite of Insecure.

 

And the guy was not turned off when I said that too him - he laughed and said "Im an equal opportunist" then I laughed.

 

I guess since you said it over the phone and not text, it would depend on the conversation tone and context.

 

But taken just as it is...would be off putting. ESPECIALLY over text.

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SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

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Thanks to everyone for your opinions regardless of which side you were on. There were plenty of opinions so I took the pics down. We're going out tonight so we'll see what happens. I'll update everyone later tonight or tomorrow.

  • Like 1
charlietheginger Established Member

charlietheginger

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Sjc2008 ,

 

I think you're on the right track. If you want to be a women

Ladies like. Then be a likeable to all the ladies. Im 35

I dont know your age but imo going out having a meal

Maybe a few drinks is a great way to spend the evening.

Enjoy some chat about places you have been she has been

Your hobbies , things you like to do, things she likes to do.

Local places and events comming up. Sometimes just hanging

Out with a person opens doors.

 

Your might click mentally but not physically. If that

Happens you might make a nice friend. No harm

In that. Girls as friends will get you in with other girls

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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