EnLove Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 I love my (ex) with all of my being, I cant stress this enough. But I do not know what to do or where to go from here I am so confused. So here's how it happened. I just started hair school 6 months ago and I love it! Before this I was in school for fashion for 2 years. Me and my bf got together my freshman year, and he's been there ever since. We've been through so much together, when he was hospitalized its safe to say I gave up everything, I stopped going to school and work to be at his bedside everyday for a month. This was my decision and I do not regret a moment of it. I threaten to leave him alot I admit that and I promised him that I wouldn't do it anymore but for me when I get frustrated its easier for me to take a break from what it is that frustrated me. When I say this to him I do not mean it at all but in the moment that's the easiest thing for me to do, I am emotionally unstable so when things are bad in my eyes they are worse then they actually are. I'm guessing he's tired of me threatening to leave but this time that is not what I was trying to do. I knew what I was getting into when I started hair school but I basically feel like its unfair to him because I barely have time for him now between work and school I'm at school for 10 hrs a day 3 days a week and the rest of the days I'm working, I just don't have time. I sent him a long message saying basically that I feel it's unfair to him and that I feel selfish and how he deserves better but in the end I was saying that if its to much for him he can leave and I understand if he decides to. He took this as me finding an excuse for us to break up but that's not at all what I was trying to say. I just didn't want him to feel cheated like he was tricked or something because I've been in a relationship like that and because I fell in love with the person I felt I didn't have a choice but to stay. He wasn't talking to me for a while then he finally told me that I throw him off when I say things like that and that he was going to stay because he didn't want to lose me but things didn't get better after this. Once he said that he still wasn't talking to me really and when I'd say I love him he would say " no you dont" like idk what to do. And now I asked him if we could get back to where we were before all of this and that I felt like I was losing him and he didn't respond. It's been 2 days and I'm freaking out. I don't want to lose him I really love that boy and idk what I did but I'd give my life to make things better. I take it as he doesn't care or he's found someone else and I can't do anything about that I just want him to be happy even if its not with me so I've erased his number. I'm going to find a way to make it without him, because if he doesn't want to be here what else can I do right. I thought that our love could withstand anything we promised each other forever and that we would be together no matter what! Apart of me is saying he just needs time and that he will be back but I have to be able cope and heal if he doesn't. Idk it's out of my hands at this point. Ill just have to wait and see. But I really want US back.
lovelyde Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 I'm sorry, but he doesn't love you. Your soulmate is the man whom you think is cool and the thought of him looking into your eyes sends shivers all throughout your body. And the first thing on your mind while your body shivers is that you want his baby right now. -
Author EnLove Posted March 28, 2013 Author Posted March 28, 2013 @lovelyde that's where you're wrong everything you just said was not true I won't prove myself because I don't have to I know what I know boooop get off my ****
Damsel in Distress Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Thanks for sharing your story, EnLove. Hang in there, and focus on yourself - you have a lot on your plate. You can't force him back, just live your life and continue focusing on school and work. Sorry for how messy it all got towards the end. Good luck!
Recommended Posts