Nuna Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 My BU was almost 3 months ago. I was with a man that turned to be very selfish, childish, hurtful and arrogant. If you read my first ever post, I was just blaming my self for everything, but I did realise it really takes too to ruin a relationship most of the times. I was in NC for 3 weeks. I asked him not to talk to me to heal. It took him at least 2 months to realise I can't be friends, I still have feelings for him. Last time I spoke to him he was very rude, mean and hurtful. I realised then, there must be someone else with him... Yesterday he called me. I didn't reply. He asked how I was. My mom was diagnosed with cancer and I wrote to him "I'm fine, but my mom is not" and explained. He wrote me a text like we were strangers...I told him it's sad that we're like strangers now and that I felt he is seeing someone else and that's the reason he was rude and hurtful 3 weeks ago. He replied " I'm not going to argue. Yes, I'm enjoying another girl and things are great! We are not together anymore, there's nothing wrong with that. You are so complicated it's crazy!" I didn't reply...
srivers89 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 This guy is no good and you need to get back into NC with him immediately. You are only prolonging the healing process by dwelling on things with him and trying to figure out "whats up" with him. Please start to live your life for you and do your best to move past this man I know it's hard but you can't continue to torture yourself like this.
Author Nuna Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 This guy is no good and you need to get back into NC with him immediately. You are only prolonging the healing process by dwelling on things with him and trying to figure out "whats up" with him. Please start to live your life for you and do your best to move past this man I know it's hard but you can't continue to torture yourself like this. thanks for your answer. of course you're right, I'm not going to speak to him ever again...it's just the fact that I told him about my mom and he gave this answer is making me wonder, did even realise what he said? I'm very forgiving as a person, but I don't think I can comprehend this
srivers89 Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 thanks for your answer. of course you're right, I'm not going to speak to him ever again...it's just the fact that I told him about my mom and he gave this answer is making me wonder, did even realise what he said? I'm very forgiving as a person, but I don't think I can comprehend this It's crazy how people can turn on you and seem so much less caring when they aren't with you anymore. You don't owe him any forgiveness he read that message, he understood what you said, and he didn't care. That's just what it boils down to, you need to hurt and heal for awhile but it will get better! 2
Damsel in Distress Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Can you forgive?! No! This man doesn't deserve any kind of forgiveness!! Do not reply! What he wrote was very hurtful. His reply is hurting me, and it's not even directed at me! I'm so sorry, and I agree that you must protect yourself from him by going NC. You deserve so much better! Stay strong. 3
MushyPeas Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Completely agree with Srivers, NC and use the way he has acted towards you as a perfect example of why you should stay clear of him. You shouldn't have to comprehend this, he's an ass hat and he'll most likely never realise what he said or that he even did anything unacceptable, it's a shame, even more so because he hurt you in the process but just think, if you hadn't of replied to him then you wouldn't have to deal with these thoughts, and now someone else can deal with all of those "fantastic traits" he possesses. Please don't get me wrong, this isn't your fault at all! Just remember that by getting in contact with him, it hurt you and it could have been avoided, don't go there again. Finally, sending the biggest hugs to you, hope that your mum is ok 2
Author Nuna Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 wow, your answers instantly heal...Big Love to all of you... All the good feelings I had for him suddenly disappeared...I am still in pain, I can't hide this yes... But this was so mean, it's amazing. I think it will help my healing process a lot... And of course I didn't have any intention to reply. I don't want to speak to this person again... I just really can't comprehend how people change so much in 3 months....
srivers89 Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 wow, your answers instantly heal...Big Love to all of you... All the good feelings I had for him suddenly disappeared...I am still in pain, I can't hide this yes... But this was so mean, it's amazing. I think it will help my healing process a lot... And of course I didn't have any intention to reply. I don't want to speak to this person again... I just really can't comprehend how people change so much in 3 months.... You're more than welcome and if you want it to yes the anger/pain can be used to move on. That's what I'm currently doing I found out a big secret about my relationship of four years that recently ended but I'm using the pain and hurt to move forward and remind myself as to why I don't wanna go back to that relationship and that's what you have to do here. 1
Author Nuna Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 You're more than welcome and if you want it to yes the anger/pain can be used to move on. That's what I'm currently doing I found out a big secret about my relationship of four years that recently ended but I'm using the pain and hurt to move forward and remind myself as to why I don't wanna go back to that relationship and that's what you have to do here. In my case, he rejected me so much as a person and I still had thoughts that maybe in the future we'd be lovers or friends... but after today, I was completely disgusted... In your case, secrets are so awful...I don't know what it was, but try and do something good every day for your self. I found meditation is good to keep tormenting thoughts coming over and over again... Thing is, I think we all create our own reality. And sometimes it takes longer to heal, cause we don't want to. I really don't want to hurt, I want to heal!!! Let's yell this all together! lol Trying to laugh my pain away...it does help you know? Oh, I hope you're feeling better soon xx
fixing Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 This guy, is a foul, sociopathic scumbag, and does not deserve another ounce of your thoughts or a milisecond of your time. He is a KUNT. You are a million times better than that cold SOB.... And there are literally millions of men dying for a chance to be with you, So **** him. And im really sorry to hear about your mum. Hope she is ok 3
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