dude12 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Hey all, I've been doing the online dating thing for a little while now, and I went out with this one girl a couple of times, whom I really liked. We were e-mailing and texting for about 2-3 weeks before we first met up, and the first date was great. A week later, we went on a second date, and it just felt slightly off. Long story short, the girl e-mails me later that night saying that I have slipped into the friend zone, but she would still like to get to know me 'as friends.' I responded that while I did like hanging out with her and getting to know her, I was a bit disappointed, and I also said that as much as I would like to stay in touch, it can't work that way. So, exactly one week later, after not contacting her at all, I check my account and see there's a new message from her. She said she just wanted to say hi and asked how my luck was going on the site. She told me that she started talking to some guy who turned out to be a real prick, and at the end, she wrote that she misses my fun texts and hilarious e-mails. I'm just confused by this. I've dated girls who have come back after a break up before for ego reasons, but I've never had this happen online. Do you think it's just her looking for an ego boost and maybe feel a little better?
Ami1uwant Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Online data 101---- Both men and women do this... When going through online dating profiles people tend to rank their prospects and dates. From there each chooses which one to persue. Also--Assume you are not the only one they are dating. They rank the dates and opt to persue their #1 choice of their pool of dates. Some opt to not be multidaters. They only want to date 1 at a time. This is what happened to you---she had guy B she was more interested in over you so she ended it with you by saying she friendzoned you. Others will instead go into ignore/limit contact mode when they are interested in someone else and then refocus after that failed. Is it possible she honestly friendzoned you because she wasnt interested in you or didnt feel it---sure---but my gut thinks she was interested in you---just not as much as that other guy she was dating. Now since that failed she has rregrets and wants to go back to you.
Author dude12 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 Online data 101---- Both men and women do this... When going through online dating profiles people tend to rank their prospects and dates. From there each chooses which one to persue. Also--Assume you are not the only one they are dating. They rank the dates and opt to persue their #1 choice of their pool of dates. Some opt to not be multidaters. They only want to date 1 at a time. This is what happened to you---she had guy B she was more interested in over you so she ended it with you by saying she friendzoned you. Others will instead go into ignore/limit contact mode when they are interested in someone else and then refocus after that failed. Is it possible she honestly friendzoned you because she wasnt interested in you or didnt feel it---sure---but my gut thinks she was interested in you---just not as much as that other guy she was dating. Now since that failed she has rregrets and wants to go back to you. I get what you're saying, as I do the same thing by ranking, but wouldn't she have avoided saying I was in the "friend zone" if that were the case? Granted, she is new to online dating and maybe hasn't figured it out just yet.
SJC2008 Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Grant it it's only two dates in but you need someone who's going to appreciate you when you're in front of them, not after they FZ you and get pumped and dumped by some prick. Yes, "He turned into a real prick" = "I got pumped and dumped". Don't give her another chance, she GIG'D you once and she'll do it again. 1
chex Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 This reminds me of a friend of mine. Genuinely a friend, though probably if either of us wanted we could turn it sexual at this point. I don't want to 'cuz I'm dating someone else, since she initially basically friendzoned me but now finds me more sexy(still in highschool so I'm still growing physically/emotionally, she didn't have some random change of heart or "warm up" to me). A few weeks ago we hadn't really hung out for a while and she was always sort of tugging on me like "I miss youuuu come overrrr" So I did go over, with another guy friend of mine. We chilled and cooked food and played some SSBB, she was sort of getting all touchy(physically) with me. I reciprocated, but only really to the extent that a friend would. She's going off to college soon, so I probably won't hit it off with her even if my relationship ends sometime soon. Shame, she's cute.
chex Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 (edited) golden vagina Phillydude; bringing new meaning to trophy wife. Edited March 27, 2013 by chex
Mrlonelyone Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 I'm gonna go against the crowd and say, give her another chance. The idea that a person would date around a bit then choose the best person based on a number of times hanging out and dating is not really new. It's only more visible with online dating. Sometimes it takes seeing that what else is out there isn't that great to appreciate what one has. All that glitters is not gold, and all that. So, give her another chance, just don't get your heart in it right away. Expect a lover to flake on you sometime before the 7th year of marriage.
chex Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 I wish a girl would inform me that I;m in the friendzone. LOL I would blast her a$$ so bad she would be ready for tears You can generally sense it. I don't exactly think the friendzone is a bad place; you both get to know each other better, she can decide whether she really wants you, and there are plenty of opportunities for escalation if you both decide you find the other attractive enough.
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