Chris516 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 (edited) I will mention that it was an LDR. We had been together since July of 2007. I received a message on FB today, from my (ex)fiance, confirming what I had suspected for the past sixteen months. She just never said it directly. This message was after having not heard from her on FB, for two weeks. I hadn't heard from her by IM for several days. The phone had noticeably become less n' less. So any positive emotions she expressed over the last year, about something I did for her, suspect. Even though she said she would work on communicating better with me. Edited March 26, 2013 by Chris516
Cogee Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Doing it from Facebook of all things? She didn't even talk on the phone or skype with you? Shows you how much respect she had for you, so good riddance. How long were you engaged? I was left for someone else and this is exactly how it went. Calling/communication lessened until she finally secured her other person and then it was time for her to drop me cold. She didn't talk to me for 1 week despite leaving me in the dark and wondering what was going on (which I unfortunately found out later she was with him during that time), until finally she at least had the decency to make a trip to see me in person and tell me. Though she DID leave out the part that there was someone else... 1
Am4Real Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 I have no idea what you're saying. Can you be specific? What is official after suspecting "something" for sixteen months? I will mention that it was an LDR. We had been together since July of 2007. I received a message on FB today, from my (ex)fiance, confirming what I had suspected for the past sixteen months. She just never said it directly. This message was after having not heard from her on FB, for two weeks. I hadn't heard from her by IM for several days. The phone had noticeably become less n' less. So any positive emotions she expressed over the last year, about something I did for her, suspect. Even though she said she would work on communicating better with me.
Author Chris516 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 Doing it from Facebook of all things? She didn't even talk on the phone or skype with you? Shows you how much respect she had for you, so good riddance. How long were you engaged? I was left for someone else and this is exactly how it went. Calling/communication lessened until she finally secured her other person and then it was time for her to drop me cold. She didn't talk to me for 1 week despite leaving me in the dark and wondering what was going on (which I unfortunately found out later she was with him during that time), until finally she at least had the decency to make a trip to see me in person and tell me. Though she DID leave out the part that there was someone else... 5.66yrs.(I know a long engagement) While part of me hopes that, this is just another one of the periods where she shuts down emotionally for a while, I am not keeping my fingers crossed.
Author Chris516 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 You didn't mention this, when is the last time you saw her in person? The last time I saw her in person, was July 2011.
Author Chris516 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 I have no idea what you're saying. Can you be specific? What is official after suspecting "something" for sixteen months? That she may have broken up with me.
Am4Real Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 That she may have broken up with me. You suspected she broke up with you sixteen months ago and you're figuring it out now that is is "official"?
Author Chris516 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 You suspected she broke up with you sixteen months ago and you're figuring it out now that is is "official"? No:mad: I suspected sixteen months ago, that she wanted to break up. But she kept flip-flopping. Between sounding like she wanted to breakup by the several 'quiet periods', then her actions saying she wanted to work on the communication(even saying it).
Tk123 Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 I know you guys have been going at it a long time man and I respect that. LDR is not easy to begin with. But based off of everything you said, you don't need her man. It's time to move on with your life and I know that's easier said than done but you will feel much better about yourself. My LDR ended the same way. The messages and amount of time we talked by the day grew less and less until it was nothing. I wish you the best of luck man and God bless you.
Cogee Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 LDR is tough and unless you both are fully committed to each other and are totally comfortable with the LDR it is going to be tough to hold together. That seems like an awfully long time to not have seen someone in person though so I'm not surprised it was over. Those periods of low contact were probably down times for her when she was doubting the relationship or hanging out with someone else. Of course you will never know but we are all human and naturally there will be down times, which is the real challenge of the LDR.
Am4Real Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 I couldn't agree more. In my experiences with LDR's, the challenges really begin after six months. There is just too much distance (no pun intended) between people where it becomes lonely staying at home... LDR is tough and unless you both are fully committed to each other and are totally comfortable with the LDR it is going to be tough to hold together. That seems like an awfully long time to not have seen someone in person though so I'm not surprised it was over. Those periods of low contact were probably down times for her when she was doubting the relationship or hanging out with someone else. Of course you will never know but we are all human and naturally there will be down times, which is the real challenge of the LDR.
Author Chris516 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 I am sorry but did the OP say he hasnt met his girlfriend for 16 months and then realized it was over when she left him an fb message ? How far away do you guys live from one another ? Was there no way you could have planned to get together during these 16 months ? I find it a bit strange to believe that someone can not meet for such a long time and still believe they are in a relationship You read it wrong. 16mos. ago was when I first noticed the communication going bad. Prior to that, the communication had been good. We live 1800mi. apart. I wanted to get together last summer, but she said her mother wasn't doing well. She won't leave her parents' house, without her mother. During that time, she had actually been hoping I would cheat on her. Even two-time her. I told her that is not in my psyche. When I recently asked her if I had done anything wrong to cause her feeling like this, she said 'no', that it was because of her. She has OCD and recently said she couldn't give me what I wanted. But she never answered my question, when I asked her, what she thought I wanted. I learned a long time ago, never to get an exact answer. Because the answer would be coming from the OCD thinking, not her own thinking.
Author Chris516 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 I know you guys have been going at it a long time man and I respect that. LDR is not easy to begin with. But based off of everything you said, you don't need her man. It's time to move on with your life and I know that's easier said than done but you will feel much better about yourself. My LDR ended the same way. The messages and amount of time we talked by the day grew less and less until it was nothing. I wish you the best of luck man and God bless you. Thank you for your understanding(sorry that you went through the same thing I did) and compassion. You are right.
Author Chris516 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 LDR is tough and unless you both are fully committed to each other and are totally comfortable with the LDR it is going to be tough to hold together. That seems like an awfully long time to not have seen someone in person though so I'm not surprised it was over. Those periods of low contact were probably down times for her when she was doubting the relationship or hanging out with someone else. Of course you will never know but we are all human and naturally there will be down times, which is the real challenge of the LDR. More than likely 'down time'. She has OCD, and had a lot of guilt about us not being together in the same city. She is a hoarder, where some of her guilt probably came from. Her hoarding became 'evident' in the relationship, when I would send her 'physical'(not e-)cards for the holidays or some other special occasion, and she would tell me that she wanted to open them in front of me. Well, That would be months later. But when I would be there, she still wouldn't open the cards. I found the only thing she could not 'hoard' because of it being time-dependent, was flowers. So that is what I would also send her.
Author Chris516 Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 LDR is tough and unless you both are fully committed to each other and are totally comfortable with the LDR it is going to be tough to hold together. That seems like an awfully long time to not have seen someone in person though so I'm not surprised it was over. Those periods of low contact were probably down times for her when she was doubting the relationship or hanging out with someone else. Of course you will never know but we are all human and naturally there will be down times, which is the real challenge of the LDR. I forgot to add, the extent of her OCD, doesn't allow her to leave the house on her own. So I know she isn't cheating outside of her house.
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