destroyed4sho Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 I knew I should have taken the chance.... But he's younger than me so I was hesitant and kinda knew his mentality... I kinda have regrets and then I don't...he probably would have stayed or he would have left... You hesitated bc something wasnt right. your gut was telling you he has the ability to drop you and not.think twice about it. Obviously, your instinct was right. so why in hell are you saying that you should of taken the chance? The only chance that he was givig you was having sex with him. lots of guys will give you that chance in life... LOTS, TRUST ME LOTS AND LOTS. Bottom line, if he felt love for you, he would of waited for you..but love was not his priority here...sex was. Im older and even I when I sense someone just wants sex or places more value on sex than a meaningful relationship, then I dont give them sex and.lose interest.quickly. 2
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 You hesitated bc something wasnt right. your gut was telling you he has the ability to drop you and not.think twice about it. Obviously, your instinct was right. so why in hell are you saying that you should of taken the chance? The only chance that he was givig you was having sex with him. lots of guys will give you that chance in life... LOTS, TRUST ME LOTS AND LOTS. Bottom line, if he felt love for you, he would of waited for you..but love was not his priority here...sex was. Im older and even I when I sense someone just wants sex or places more value on sex than a meaningful relationship, then I dont give them sex and.lose interest.quickly. I mean the relationship was meaningful. He would do things for me and cared for me, but I dunno....I guess it really was my intincts telling me something wasnt right. I kinda felt unimportant sometimes...like his friends were much more important and I would get upset with him about that...not that I had no problem with him hanging out with friends, but it became so frequent that he and I didn't really have a lot of time together, and he would complain and said we saw each other enough.... My best guy friend told me I should have been the one to end it...because he knew I deserved better...he told me I did..but it just hurts because I really cared and loved my ex ya know? I think I was too mature for him in many ways...he even told me one time that I was like a mom to him...it pissed me off because I wasn't like a mom? I just did what a caring gf did. Which was to bring him food, see him when I could, buy him things, wonder what was wrong with him when he was upset, etc...does he want someone who DOESN'T care?
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 Even when he was sick or something was hurting him, and I couldn't come over to take care of him...I'd tell him what he could do to feel better, etc. I helped him get into working out and how to work out, what to eat, etc... Maybe I was like a mom to him or maybe I was just a girlfriend who cared too much about him
destroyed4sho Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Even when he was sick or something was hurting him, and I couldn't come over to take care of him...I'd tell him what he could do to feel better, etc. I helped him get into working out and how to work out, what to eat, etc... Maybe I was like a mom to him or maybe I was just a girlfriend who cared too much about him Most guys would LOVE a girl that does all that. Most guys love to be 'babied' .....I think the only thing this guy cared about was.....SEX. He is a HS boy lookig to get laid ! You wouldnt give it to him, couldnt give you what you wanted bc he prob didnt know how and just left for someone that was putting out and didnt have to do much to please her. Sex isnt the most important thing in a relationship...i know this bc I was practically in a sexless.relationship with my ex and I still loved her to pieces. It wasnt a healthy relationship but thats another story. 2
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 Most guys would LOVE a girl that does all that. Most guys love to be 'babied' .....I think the only thing this guy cared about was.....SEX. He is a HS boy lookig to get laid ! You wouldnt give it to him, couldnt give you what you wanted bc he prob didnt know how and just left for someone that was putting out and didnt have to do much to please her. Sex isnt the most important thing in a relationship...i know this bc I was practically in a sexless.relationship with my ex and I still loved her to pieces. It wasnt a healthy relationship but thats another story. I think so too :/ I even asked him and confronted him, but he would deny it and get upset; and I told him that, usually that's what most guys want his age...hence why I asked him to wait until we were older.
na49 Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 You've been doing so awesome lately, so please don't beat yourself up for having one bad day. We all have bad days, and if you're me, you have bad weeks I guess I'll chime in on the sex thing. My ex was a sleazeball, so I guess I should have known she'd cheat on me. She was horny as f*ck right from our first date to our last (the day before she breaks up with me!). Innocent cuddling or studying together turned nasty pretty quick. To think she's giving it to every guy on campus now makes me sick. I feel like asking these guys "How do I taste?" A girl who doesn't give it up easy, is a girl who is loyal and a girl I can trust. That's what it shows me at least. I'll be looking for that when I start dating again. I don't want a girl who f*cks on the first date. If she's willing to give it up on the first date, she's probably willing to give it to a guy who isn't me which is a RED FLAG! I didn't see that when I was with her, but I didn't see a lot of problems with her. Obvious things that anyone else would say "run away immediately!" So that's my bad. Live and learn I guess.. You're being silly if you think he will stay with this girl forever. It's easy to think that they will be when you see how "happy" they are, but you were that happy with him and your relationship with him ended. Your relationship with him didn't last forever, what makes this girl so much better than you? As for seeing him on Saturday. Nothing I tell you can make it any easier sadly, but try your best to remember why YOU are there. Not why his girlfriend is or isn't there. You are there for your sister. Is this the last time you'll have to risk seeing them together? 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 You've been doing so awesome lately, so please don't beat yourself up for having one bad day. We all have bad days, and if you're me, you have bad weeks I guess I'll chime in on the sex thing. My ex was a sleazeball, so I guess I should have known she'd cheat on me. She was horny as f*ck right from our first date to our last (the day before she breaks up with me!). Innocent cuddling or studying together turned nasty pretty quick. To think she's giving it to every guy on campus now makes me sick. I feel like asking these guys "How do I taste?" A girl who doesn't give it up easy, is a girl who is loyal and a girl I can trust. That's what it shows me at least. I'll be looking for that when I start dating again. I don't want a girl who f*cks on the first date. If she's willing to give it up on the first date, she's probably willing to give it to a guy who isn't me which is a RED FLAG! I didn't see that when I was with her, but I didn't see a lot of problems with her. Obvious things that anyone else would say "run away immediately!" So that's my bad. Live and learn I guess.. You're being silly if you think he will stay with this girl forever. It's easy to think that they will be when you see how "happy" they are, but you were that happy with him and your relationship with him ended. Your relationship with him didn't last forever, what makes this girl so much better than you? As for seeing him on Saturday. Nothing I tell you can make it any easier sadly, but try your best to remember why YOU are there. Not why his girlfriend is or isn't there. You are there for your sister. Is this the last time you'll have to risk seeing them together? Haha thank you Na I know we all have bad days, and I actually do have some bad weeks Dx, but hey you're doing great yourself I'm proud of your progress (even though you peeked at her profile...BAD!) lol but really I've seen you grow and get stronger. Omg that's terrible about your ex...giving sex so easily...idk if it's just me but sex isn't something I'd throw around so easily...my body is important to me and only a guy I truly love will be able to do things with me haha...it's corny, but that's just how I've always felt. I just can't see how careless people can be with giving sex x/ But you've made me feel a lot better Na..now I don't regret not having sex with him... Sometimes I really do think they'll last forever, but like you said it's silly and most likely bound to never happen. And from what I can see and know about her...she isn't better than me at all...she's unstable emotionally from what I can see...and she has to have someone. She's in love with the idea of being in love (confessed this herself) which I know isn't really a good thing. And yeah about Saturday you're right..I'll just remember why I'm there..for my sister. We have a couple of mutral friends who are also in the competition so I'll hang out with the ones I'm closer to (like my best guy friend) haha. And it probably wont be the last time i see him or his gf again. my sister and him are in the same marching band and musical clubs so ill be seeing him for the rest of this year and next year :/ oh well..gives me time to get over him i guess Thank you again Na. I'll update how Saturday goes (hopefully well)
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 My healing has gone so well...I no longer feel a lot of pain...I miss him, and when I see him the butterflies still show up, but no more pain I had fun tonight too <3 it was my best friend's bday and she and a couple of our friends who are on spring break and came into town went to dinner then we had a couple of shots (well I did at least haha) it was really fun and I haven't had that much fun in a while...plus earlier in the day I went shopping out if town with another close friend of mine A note to those hurting...it does get easier and as long as you keep your kind busy and away from social networks you will feel so much better.. My challenge is tomorrow...Im going to see my sisters dumline competition an my ex will be there again (they're in the same group)..I just hope everything goes okay like it did last sat. 1
NewPerspective93 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Glad things are going swell for you. Kudos on doing stuff! There's no point in wondering what the ex is doing now, it's none of your concern and neither are your whereabouts to him. Go and have fun without the guy, you deserve it. Not sure if you're religious, and if you're not I apologize, but here's something I liked to read when I was going through a fit of missing the ex and how overtly emotional I'd react if I were to contact her: 1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. Things will get better, take it from me. Cheers. 1
Damsel in Distress Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Rice a Roni, I'm so glad to hear you had a good day and you had fun!! Great progress! Good luck today. Focus on your sister - I hope she does well. You are strong! 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 Rice a Roni, I'm so glad to hear you had a good day and you had fun!! Great progress! Good luck today. Focus on your sister - I hope she does well. You are strong! Thank you DD I may not be able to go support my sister today unfortunately..my dad needed to help transport some of the performers and there is only one spot left for my mom. I don't know whether to look at this as a good thing or bad thing haha, but I guess it's good I won't have to see my ex (I honestly kind if what to.) but I know it's best that I don't...I'm just going with the flow of things and since fate has decided that I won't face him today..I won't try to fight it. (Because sometimes I try and figure out ways to see him) I was invited to two parties tonight anyway haha so I'll probably have much more fun there than facing my ex and seeing him have fun with his friends and possibly his gf. 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. Things will get better, take it from me. Cheers. Thank you this verse helped me very much. I know things will get better...Ive been able to witness it, and have hope for myself. I've grown a lot and realized the mistakes I made and how I can better myself whether it be with my ex or with someone new My good friend has tried hooking me up with a lot of guys that were interested, but I told her I'm done with dating for a while..not because I'm still in some pain, but because I'm just exausted emotionally and I'm not really looking for anything right now... I guess this is good 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 It seems things have changed regarding going to my sister's competition. My dad has an empty seat in his car to take me if I wanted to go and long witha spot for my mom too...I turned down the spot though (I know later on I might kick myself for this because I wanted to see my ex, bad I know) and let my brothZer take my spot to go in place for me. I think what I did was good? 2
Minneloa Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Not just good, RR. Awesome! Way to take care of yourself! M. 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 Not just good, RR. Awesome! Way to take care of yourself! M. I'm glad I haven't been having the best day anyway, so I'm trying to take my mind off things.
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 Today was pretty fun. I wasn't having the best day, but once I got with my friends we went to a party and played drinking games. I had a good time, met new people, and laughed, danced, ate, etc. It was much better than going to the competition to face my ex and when I got home I was still able to congratulate my sister and tell her she's made me proud to follow in my footsteps with performing.
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 Also. I told my friend not mention my ex's new gf anymore...she told me my ex's new gf said "hi" to her...she doesn't even know my friend, but I think his new gf knows that my friend is really close to me.. My friend said she just looked at her and rolled her eyes...it kinda made me laugh, yet I felt some anger too...my friend doesn't like my ex's new gf, but still...I don't want to know about his new gf. It hurted bad enough that he left. I don't need to know anything or even want his new gf to be mentioned to me. Just venting. I think I'm going to use this thread as a diary from now on..to get my thoughts out when I'm feeling down or when Im feeling good...to see my own progress and growth
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