So she's kinda back but I dunno

[Dessembrae]

So it's been 8 month since the break up, one failed relationship for her, several girls I dated to no end and now we're just starting to hang out again.

 

We had both been at a friends bday party where after some drinks she decided to kiss me and we spent the rest of the night like we had never broke up. The next day we talked about it and she said she messed up that it's still too soon since her last break up and she was scared that if we started anything the same problems would come up from last time.

 

I told her I couldn't just wait around that she needed to think about if she wanted me in her life or would be happier without me in it, either she let me either take her out on an actual date or I was gone forever.

She told me the thought of never seeing me again really upset her so she was willing to try.

 

We went out a couple weeks ago and she was very withdrawn during the date and gave me the assumptions he wasn't interested in being there, I asked the next day if that was it then and she didn't get what I meant so I decided to leave it and walk away.

 

A week later I was out with some friends and she was there, I said hello but pretty much ignored her even when she met trying to come over and talk to me. About 4 days later she texted me asking how I've been and I folded and ended up talking to her, it ended in us making plans to hang out last Sunday.

 

We ended up going out for dinner with another couple that we are both really good friends with and dinner turned into night out drinking. At the club her best friend told me how happy she was to see us hanging out again and how good I am for her, and that she's scared of what happens last time but she still loves me and that I need to be patient.

 

After the bar we took a taxi to my place, on the drive she told me she was worried cause she doesn't know what she wanted right now since her last ex was a nut and she wants time to be happy but she doesn't want to lead me on, but doesn't want to lose me either. We spent the night together and then the next day just laying in each other arms until I drove her to work where we held hands the way there.

 

I'm stuck at this point, any other girl I would walk away from but for her I'm willing to do anything... Any advice would be welcome

[TaraMaiden]

Willing to do anything, huh?

 

Keep bouncing, and going back and forth? be an option and not a priority?

 

There's an element of the "It's not you, it's me" routine in her actions, here....

 

Look.

 

She went out with you for - how long?

 

You had 8 months apart, and now she's back.

 

I hate to tell you this, but it's 'better the Devil you know' - until of course, a 'better Devil' comes along.

You're a convenient infill.

A soft place to fall, an old familiar form... a good hump.

 

She's foolin' with you.

She's having a great time with you, pushing your buttons until you respond... and having good sex.

but won't commit.

because she doesn't want to.

You're now a FWB.

 

Fool you once, more fool her.

Fool you twice - more fool you.

 

She's got you by the short 'n' curlies, pet - and pretty soon, you'll get sick and tired of her 'indecisiveness'.

 

Only - she's not being indecisive.

She's doing what she wants.....

[Dessembrae]

Yes she is being indecisive but after what she went through with the last guy I don't blame her he was nuts and I even had to walk in once and deal with him.

We aren't having sex yet, we've only spent two evening together since we started hanging out again and we're just enjoying each others company.

 

As for her jerking my chain we've June each other a long time and are both very honest with each other, we were friends before we dated so there's a lit if trust between us. She's been completely honest with me about what she wants right now which is time but said that she does want us to try again but she has her own issues to work out.

[Dessembrae]

Well that's the thing, when we were together we had talked about spending the rest of our lives together and hand made plans for the future and how lucky we were to have found each other, she had told her friends and family that I was the person she was going to spend her life with.

But at the end I was dealing with deaths in my close family and issues with friends and work and became very stressed out which unfortunately I carried over to the relationship and we started fighting a lot. After we decided to end things we talked about if we ever saw anything happening again and both felt we would but we needed time so we walked away.

 

She has told me she wants us to try again but she scared of being hurt again and doesn't want the same thing to happen that happened last time, so I'm not rushing anything, we still talk all the time, share mutual friends so we see each other and we still make plans to go on dates. I guess I'm just scared of getting hurt again myself even though I know I should go for it but go slow and let things happen on there own