Husband co-signed for car without asking me, plus more!! Help!!

[guest]

Recently, my husband has been spending money on expensive things then tells me in an "oh by the way attitude that he did." For example, he brought his borther $100.00 car matts, then told me I couldnot buy my text book for school until I got paid, which was the day before class started. He also co-signed for a car loan for his younger brother who we help support (he's 19 and has lived with us since he was16, he is a full time college student and we help with some of his bills) and did not ask me first. I was very upset becuase that effects our credit, mine and his. He said he did not think to askme first but was sorry.

 

Then last night I over heard him talking to his brother about credit and said the folloiwng:

 

"I was thinking about getting a new credit card and putting your name on it so you can establish some credit. I am still kicking around the issue (with me)."

 

The only thing is he has still not mentioned it to me. I am afraid that he will go through with it and not ask me first. I have not asked him about it. I did ask him what they talkd about, in a general manner and he did not mention it to me.

 

What should I do?

[Merin]

Tell him that this isn't okay!

 

The two of you are married, and while I respect that he wants to help his brother out these are decisions that should involve BOTH of you.

[guest]

Merin,

 

Thank you for the relpy. I have not said anyting to my husband, yet. I am giving him the benefit of the doubt that he will talk to me about it. I overheard him on Friday and it is now Monday and nothing. I have even tried to bring it up other ways. Yesterday he was talking to his brother and told him he need to get a credit card, then they left the room. When he came back I said, "So T is trying to get a credit card?" he said "yeah, but he did not follow through on it so I am going to make sure he does."

 

I thought that would have been a perfect oppurtinity for him to bring up the subject with me, but he did not. I am going to just wait it out.

 

Thanks again for your relpy.

[Merin]

You're welcome girl, hope it all works out.

[guest]

If his brother gets a credit card and it has his name on it then its his responsibility. Its obvious your husband is not going to bring this up to you in the way you are thinking because he dont think it really involves you. How does his brother getting a credit card involve you. If at some point your husband says,......hey honey, my brother got a credit card and cant make the payment. I was thinking about lending him 50 bucks. Ok, then , yeah, it involves you. But....otherwise, ...I dont see it

[Mr Spock]

How long have you been married? Doesn't bode well, just to let you know-he could end up destroying your credit rating-my advice is to start to separate your finances a bit more.

[SoleMate]

If his brother gets a credit card and it has his name on it then its his responsibility. Its obvious your husband is not going to bring this up to you in the way you are thinking because he dont think it really involves you. How does his brother getting a credit card involve you?

The brother is a minor and can't qualify for his own card. So the husband was planning on opening an account for HIMSELF (the husband), then getting an extra card on the same account, with the BROTHER'S name on it. (Most credit card companies will let you do this, either for family members or even for ANYONE.) So the brother uses the card, while the husband, as the accountholder, is legally responsible for the bills. The husband and wife having joint finances, this scheme gives the BROTHER a direct pipe connected to the WIFE'S assets and credit rating. Depending on what he's into, this scheme could have her out on the street and living under a bridge, while working to pay off the bills for what BROTHER spent.

 

Other than that, it's a great idea.

 

If I were the wife in this story, I would immediately contact a lawyer - not for divorce, but to see how I could reduce my exposure to husband's and brother's schemes for draining my marital assets dry. After those measures were in place, I would sit my husband down for a SERIOUS talk about our finances, joint decision making, and the role of his brother in our lives.