urawolff Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I've been lurking since the day my ex broke up with me. I literally googled "should I contact my ex-boyfriend?" and this website showed up. Thanks to this forum, I have been NC for a little over a month. Anyway, I'm just so confused and any input would be greatly appreciated. Background information: I met someone online unintentionally - it wasn't a dating site. We "hit" it off almost immediately and had a lot in common. He was 21 at the time and I was 20. We communicated every day and talked every night before bed. It felt strange to go one day without talking. This continues for a year and we both had strong feelings for one another. He and I have both have previous relationships that didn't work out - and we both agreed we "had never felt this way about someone before." It seemed different, genuine, real - despite the situation. He was amazing and generous - sent presents for my birthday, Christmas, and Valentine's Day. Needless to say, I thought, "This is fate. He's the one. I was meant to meet him." I helped him cope through his parent's separation/divorce and was there during a time when no one else really was. I loved him more than anything. Fast forward to this past Valentine's Day: He ends up driving to surprise me. He lives about 11 hours away so he had to get up at 3:30am so he could arrive outside my work just as I got off. I was super shocked but couldn't be happier. I just ran up and hugged him in the parking lot and didn't let go. He was everything I expected and more. He stays for six days and during that time, we did everything a normal couple did. I stayed with him in his hotel room every night. We woke up curled beside each other and yes, had sex. We went out on dates and held hands in public. I was so incredibly happy and he seemed to feel the same. His last night, I kept crying because I didn't want him to go. That's when an idea sparks: go with him. We both made plans for me to leave with him the following morning: basically burn bridges. He calls his roommate (who knows our situation) and asks if it's okay - roommate says no, that he's uncomfortable having not met me. I understand. We make plans to move in together six months from then when his lease ends. A week later after he returns home, I notice he is acting distant. He has *never* been distant before. Like I said, it felt strange to go one day without talking. Suddenly, he's telling me, "We talk *a lot*..." I ask if he wants a break and he says yes. I'm upset but I understand everyone needs their space. A couple days later with no contact, I can't take it anymore and straight up ask, "Are you trying to break up with me?" He says, "Yes, I'm so sorry. I didn't know how to say it." He goes on to say he thinks I'm amazing and wonderful and so, so pretty - the whole time, I'm just crying and asking, "Why? Why? Why? What did I do?" He says it wasn't anything I did. He just didn't feel "that spark." I felt so heartbroken. He said he doesn't regret the past year, doesn't regret seeing me, doesn't regret anything. How could he still sleep with me without feeling that spark? That just seems so heartless. And up until then, he was the sweetest guy I had ever met. I ask him, "Did you not feel *anything*? I felt *everything*" He said he did feel something - just not enough. He says he wants me in his life, that he cares about me, loves talking to me as a friend and enjoys playing games with me (online games). Since that night, we have been NC (little over a month). I read on here, that's the best way to move on. I have been on a few dates since then - I just wanted to not think about him. I didn't eat for a week and was depressed (he doesn't know this - like I said, no contact since that night). Now, I'm angry. He said he wants to be friends and wants me in his life but has not made ANY effort to talk to me? I don't get it. If I'm "so wonderful and amazing to talk to as a friend", why won't he pursue a friendship? It's not like he was hurt in this relationship. I feel as if I'm being cast off into his past as "just another ex" even though I did *nothing* to hurt him. I hate being grouped with the other girls who cheated on him and screwed him over. It isn't fair. Thoughts? Input? Anything is appreciated.
Author urawolff Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 He probably was lusting after you and felt he had to form a relation in order to enjoy you. Think of it as a compliment. How is that a compliment? Would you mind explaining?
Recommended Posts