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how to win her?

ojamsterdam

By ojamsterdam
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ojamsterdam New Member

ojamsterdam

Posted
Posted (edited)

Hi guys,

 

I was wondering if you could think along with me and find a way for me to change the mind of this amazing girl. I'm 24 years old and a nursing student I live in Amsterdam.

 

About three weeks ago I met this (in my eyes perfect) girl, through mutual friends, who were visiting me and some friends from abroad (Italy). She is a friend of them who lives near us, so they invited her to come over and join us. We had a great time at our place and went out to a disco. There this girl and me were flirting and that turned into kissing. The rest of the night we laughed, made jokes, found out we have a lot in common, and made out which felt more intimate then I ever felt. We exchanged number and sort of agreed to go out on a date.

Two days later we met again coincidently at our house again and left together to drink something at a bar. We made out again and had a little time to get to know eachother a bit more.

However her sister was arriving to the netherlands for two weeks and she was to busy with her and her work (writing theatherplays for kids)

 

Since then a wanted to make it real romantic and decided to draw a strip cartoon about the two nights we met eachother, ending the strip with asking her out. I found out where she lived through the Italian girls and post it 1.5 week after the last night we met, personally in her mailbox.

I didn't get a response for over a week, which made me wonder if she received it. I couldn't wrap my head around about the idea of her not being interested in me after those two nights.

I didn't want to scare her off, so I waited and send her a very general text, asking about her sister stay. She didn't respond to that. I did my last attempt to see if she got it and I accidentally dropped the cartoon in the wrong box. I made a new one and send it directly to her.

Two days later she sended me a text that she was pleasently supprised and found this the most romantic thing somone has ever done for her. But she also said that she met a other guy in the meantime and it was getting serious fast.

 

I apologize for the long explaination, and secretly know that I should leave her alone and go on with my life. But I just can't stop thing about her, so I hope that you guys can give me some tips about winning her over.

Edited by ojamsterdam
Cutiepie1976 Established Member

Cutiepie1976

Posted
Posted

Not what you want to hear, but she's made her choice and communicated that clearly to you. She declined to date you. Accept that and move on. Pestering her to change her mind will only work against you at this point.

  • Author
ojamsterdam New Member

ojamsterdam

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Not what you want to hear, but she's made her choice and communicated that clearly to you. She declined to date you. Accept that and move on. Pestering her to change her mind will only work against you at this point.

 

You're absolutly right. I don't want to do that to her. I'm the kinda guy who dreams of to much and try to make it whatever it takes. I was just hoping that someone has ever feel the same and thinks back sometimes on what could have happend if they did something "crazy"? What are your thoughts on ever trying again. Maybe after her relationship with that other guy?

Cutiepie1976 Established Member

Cutiepie1976

Posted
Posted

If she changes her mind, she will find you. Let it go.

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Zulnex Established Member

Zulnex

Posted
Posted
If she changes her mind, she will find you. Let it go.

 

I agree as well.

Apolodor Established Member

Apolodor

Posted
Posted

romantic relationships are one of the very few exceptions where perseverance produces little results.... I understand your pain very well, but you need to realize that she was never serious about you. You were just a distraction while she was on the lookout for something better. They always say crap like that "... this is the most romantic thing, etc, etc...", and then they go and fu*k some random guy....

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

Posted
Posted
Hi guys,

 

I was wondering if you could think along with me and find a way for me to change the mind of this amazing girl. I'm 24 years old and a nursing student I live in Amsterdam.

 

About three weeks ago I met this (in my eyes perfect) girl, through mutual friends, who were visiting me and some friends from abroad (Italy). She is a friend of them who lives near us, so they invited her to come over and join us. We had a great time at our place and went out to a disco. There this girl and me were flirting and that turned into kissing. The rest of the night we laughed, made jokes, found out we have a lot in common, and made out which felt more intimate then I ever felt. We exchanged number and sort of agreed to go out on a date.

Two days later we met again coincidently at our house again and left together to drink something at a bar. We made out again and had a little time to get to know eachother a bit more.

However her sister was arriving to the netherlands for two weeks and she was to busy with her and her work (writing theatherplays for kids)

 

Since then a wanted to make it real romantic and decided to draw a strip cartoon about the two nights we met eachother, ending the strip with asking her out. I found out where she lived through the Italian girls and post it 1.5 week after the last night we met, personally in her mailbox.

I didn't get a response for over a week, which made me wonder if she received it. I couldn't wrap my head around about the idea of her not being interested in me after those two nights.

I didn't want to scare her off, so I waited and send her a very general text, asking about her sister stay. She didn't respond to that. I did my last attempt to see if she got it and I accidentally dropped the cartoon in the wrong box. I made a new one and send it directly to her.

Two days later she sended me a text that she was pleasently supprised and found this the most romantic thing somone has ever done for her. But she also said that she met a other guy in the meantime and it was getting serious fast.

 

I apologize for the long explaination, and secretly know that I should leave her alone and go on with my life. But I just can't stop thing about her, so I hope that you guys can give me some tips about winning her over.

 

 

I once danced on a train in front of a carriage full of people to a love song and lip synced the words to my intended unfortunately.......i wasnt drunk so remember it clearly ......i cant believe i did it..............its shameful and a little fruity.....that was twenty odd years ago..i won the guy though....i dont suggest you do that.........i dont think you can truly win anyone.......who doesnt want to be won....that guy was already attracted to me......live your life is she comes back she will fi she doesnt she wasnt meant too be yours.......deb

HoneyBadgerDontCare Established Member

HoneyBadgerDontCare

Posted
Posted

I think you killed the attraction with that comic strip. Too much too soon.

 

I disagree with the people on this thread. I say let it go for a month or so. Then send her some funny, NON-NEEDY, texts.

 

Also, make sure you're talking to other girls. Don't pull all of your eggs in one basket next time. ;)

  • Author
ojamsterdam New Member

ojamsterdam

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I think you killed the attraction with that comic strip. Too much too soon.

 

I disagree with the people on this thread. I say let it go for a month or so. Then send her some funny, NON-NEEDY, texts.

 

Also, make sure you're talking to other girls. Don't pull all of your eggs in one basket next time. ;)

 

I think I maybe allready knew, that she wasn't that into me, when I draw that strip. Cause she didn't took any initiative. I felt like I had to present myself better and was pretty sure she couldn't reject my action.

 

I do think she meant everything what she send in that last text. But it just wasn't the right time and place for her. I feel a bit ashamed that she rejected me after my strip, so I feel akward ever talking to her again.

 

Just to be clear I understand and accept that she doesn't need someone who is trying to be in her life and step in when her relationship isn't going well. Is it possible though to stay in touch, and not seeming to be a irritating dick?

Cutiepie1976 Established Member

Cutiepie1976

Posted
Posted (edited)

Embarrassed? Don't be! When someone says "no," it simply means you aren't a match. It isn't a statement about your personal worth. Dust yourself off and keep going.

 

As for staying in touch? An occasional "hi" every six months? Sure. Why not? "Friendship?" Probably not.

Edited by Cutiepie1976
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