Smiley88 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 What do you do then? Everytime i start feeling better i see her at work and i start from scratch. NC is not possbile, the occasional "Hello" is always there. Also, she was my first love,left me for another guy about a month ago, and we work together meaning i see her everyday.....any advice besides:"you are F****D"?
Hoaks Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Thats a tough situation right there. I worked with my ex also, she broke up with me after 3 months. I basically begged and cried my way to getting her back that same night. And now I look back she only stayed with me because work would have unbearable for both of us from then on. Then after 4 more months she gets sacked for having 3 days of in a row without calling in. went on a bender, then bang breaks up with me. I learned alot from working with my ex, all I can say is keep your head up, act like you dont care. Act happy. When you see her just think how much better off your life will be in the long run. Because you will find another to make you happy, then at work all you will be thinking about is the new girl. Looking forward to seeing her all day while you are at work. None of that probably helps you much, I wish you the best to get through it though.
Panda87 Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Hi Smiley88, i work together with my ex too. Its been 4 months since our last breakup. And it does get better surprisingly. Because in the beginning, i feel like quitting my job. I just want to disappear and run away from her. Couldnt bear the pain anymore, everytime i see her the pain gets worse. Keep telling myself i will never move on, esp knowing her move on with someone else 3 weeks after the BU. Damn make me feel worthless. My advise, try become less emotional with her. Dont do any stupid things, like begging or crying. Dont throw any tantrum or anger towards her, just let her live her own life. Leave her peacefully, so you can live your life peacefully. I learned from my mistakes, i did all the begging, then start with anger and blaming. it doesnt help at all, esp for you. Learn from me, i wish that time someone could told me this. So i can have some self-respect and dignity. But it happens, things happen for a reason right? Be kind to yourself, this is the only time you could really treat yourself well and no one else could. Stay calm and happy. Basically do exactly what she does, but still be you. Easier said than done, but trust me with time you'll get used to it. Ignore all those breadcrumbs she give you, IT MEANS NOTHING if she already has someone else. Stay strong! if i can do it, you can too!
Author Smiley88 Posted March 28, 2013 Author Posted March 28, 2013 Hey, Thank you for the replies.I did my share of begging twice, the first two weeks after the BU.She did throw me some Breadcrumbs the first 2-3 weeks(probably because of guilt and that we used to talk 24/7 for 1 year), asking me stupid non essential stuff, and also asking for my help one time.At that time I did help her, i thought if i was nice she would come around. Now however we just kind of ignore each other, only a cold hello from both of us. The problem is when i see her being happy, knowing she is with the other guy and not giving me a second thought, and thinking i didnt mean anything to her.( Why is it so easy for her to forget me?) I am beginning to get over it kind of, but like in the song gotye-somebody that i used to know, its hard seeing her treat me just like a co-worker she doesnt care for at all:)
NewPerspective93 Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Smile, be optimistic and civil about it. Don't try to get her attention and be overtly emotional around her. Things will get better with time, take it from me. Remember, smile and be positive about this!
Panda87 Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Hi Smiley88, she will never forget you. No matter how long and short your relationship with her, good or bad... you will always be part of her life. I know exactly how you feel, it hurts so bad seeing her so happy because she has someone else with her now. As much as it hurts, you need to keep moving forward. We are both good again now joking around at office, like nothing ever happen to us. She still like to touch me, hug me, but you see it means NOTHING because once again she choose to be with someone else not you anymore. I still love her, cant lie about it. I have come to accept "I will stop never loving her, i just learn to live without her" Dont risk your job because of her, trust me you will be happy again All of this just temporary, just endure the pain for now. Talk to me if you need, or PM me at iloveyellow87@yahoo.com
Author Smiley88 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 Im at 1,5 months after BU, and this week has been the worst of them all. I hate going to work, i know she is there,and its also a slow period with not much to do..i finish my job from 9-12 and then i just feel like s**t until 17... I cant focus, cant do my job right,cant learn anything new.. When i arrive home i instantly go to bed..feeling like this, questioning every thing i did wrong in the relationship consumes me...when im in bed,strangely im calm..or calmer then usual. When i see her happy and laughing,it kills me.. I regret finding out what love is..
Darren Steez Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 Im at 1,5 months after BU, and this week has been the worst of them all. I hate going to work, i know she is there,and its also a slow period with not much to do..i finish my job from 9-12 and then i just feel like s**t until 17... I cant focus, cant do my job right,cant learn anything new.. When i arrive home i instantly go to bed..feeling like this, questioning every thing i did wrong in the relationship consumes me...when im in bed,strangely im calm..or calmer then usual. When i see her happy and laughing,it kills me.. I regret finding out what love is.. Stop wallowing. Go on a dating website or whatever, go meet other people, use it as a distraction from the self pity. Sooner or later you're going to have to move on, so instead of going home to bed, join a combat class or something, work out all that stress and anxiety so you'll be so tired when you get home you'll have a good reason to straight crash. Right now you've got a whole bunch of negative routines. Negative only begets negative. Start doing something positive.
Damaged23 Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 (edited) What is it that you do? Can you get a different job? I think that's what I would do. Edited April 4, 2013 by Damaged23
Author Smiley88 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Posted April 4, 2013 I work in IT..but i refuse to let her change my life like that. Getting a new job because of a girl that left me for another and now doesnt have a care in the world, would be me giving up. I refuse to let her change my life another time around.
Damaged23 Posted April 4, 2013 Posted April 4, 2013 It's not letting her change your life, it's doing something for yourself. Don't you say you hate going to work, that you aren't even doing it right? And then you go hom feeling like s**? This could be a chance for you to find a better job..
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