Why I can't get any girl that I am interested in?

[thunderbird]

I am about 35. Since I remember I was busy of study, career and creating a better life for myself. I am quite successful on those aspect. But one thing is always missing.... a girl that I have feeling for...I lose them to jerks.

This story happens over and over.... and I feel hopeless now:

 

Some time back I met a girl and I interested on her. The situation was not right to go to her and talk to her but I smiled at her and said hi to her. She replied back with smile. Sometime after that I met her with a friend of mine and we went to a party. We had great time and a good talk.

I tried to get her closer to her to know me and I to know her better. So I was inviting friends to my place including her. Meanwhile I told her what I feel about her. She didn't respond and when I saw her reaction I told her that I like to keep our friendship and see where it goes. She accepted the fact and we keep meeting each other in different occasions. All happy.

Until my friend invited his friend over. I knew him from before too, a jerk. He has no respect for anyone, any person and he just looks for sex. Pure player.

He started to talk to her. The day after he invited all the group. He was approaching the girl, acting very rude to me (Since he knew that I liked her) and he was making fun of me. To respect the group and not off the mood of everyone, I was replying with other jokes and everyone were happy except myself. But since then, the girl turned her back to me, and whenever we were going out as a group, she was acting as if I am a stranger and I had her ignorance only. I kept asking her out and she brought different reasons not to join.

Until in the last party we were all together, those two were all over each other. He got her within 3 meets. I knew her for months.

However now she is hurt by him, though I don't see any chance with her anymore.

 

A similar story happened before. When things are going smooth, suddenly a jerk appears and steal her from my hand. It happened so many times and I am fed up of losing them to others. The worst one was today, NOT EVEN STARTED, I wanted to talk to a girl who I was interested in. A friend of mine is interested in her too, and as soon as I wanted to talk to her, he jumped in middle and talked to me as if he doesn't know me at all... I had to step back and then they start talking together and took all her attention. No chance left for me to talk to her. However he will go out with her and some other friends. he cut me off...

[Video]

I am about 35. Since I remember I was busy of study, career and creating a better life for myself. I am quite successful on those aspect. But one thing is always missing.... a girl that I have feeling for...I lose them to jerks.

This story happens over and over.... and I feel hopeless now:

 

Some time back I met a girl and I interested on her. The situation was not right to go to her and talk to her but I smiled at her and said hi to her. She replied back with smile. Sometime after that I met her with a friend of mine and we went to a party. We had great time and a good talk.

I tried to get her closer to her to know me and I to know her better. So I was inviting friends to my place including her. Meanwhile I told her what I feel about her. She didn't respond and when I saw her reaction I told her that I like to keep our friendship and see where it goes. She accepted the fact and we keep meeting each other in different occasions. All happy.

Until my friend invited his friend over. I knew him from before too, a jerk. He has no respect for anyone, any person and he just looks for sex. Pure player.

He started to talk to her. The day after he invited all the group. He was approaching the girl, acting very rude to me (Since he knew that I liked her) and he was making fun of me. To respect the group and not off the mood of everyone, I was replying with other jokes and everyone were happy except myself. But since then, the girl turned her back to me, and whenever we were going out as a group, she was acting as if I am a stranger and I had her ignorance only. I kept asking her out and she brought different reasons not to join.

Until in the last party we were all together, those two were all over each other. He got her within 3 meets. I knew her for months.

However now she is hurt by him, though I don't see any chance with her anymore.

 

A similar story happened before. When things are going smooth, suddenly a jerk appears and steal her from my hand. It happened so many times and I am fed up of losing them to others. The worst one was today, NOT EVEN STARTED, I wanted to talk to a girl who I was interested in. A friend of mine is interested in her too, and as soon as I wanted to talk to her, he jumped in middle and talked to me as if he doesn't know me at all... I had to step back and then they start talking together and took all her attention. No chance left for me to talk to her. However he will go out with her and some other friends. he cut me off...

 

Screw that! Heres a fail safe approach. Just go up to her with your name and number on a peice of paper and say something like "Hi im John Doe, i would love to take you out to dinner sometime." give her the paper, Smile and walk away. If they call or text you your in. If not then you didnt waste any time.

 

Ive done this a few times. Once on a girl who had a boyfriend and she was so shocked and turned on by my confidence she said "well i have a boyfriend but you never know!" and we talked for a while but she went into the military so. But she even told me she was turned on the way i approached her. Works best if say your a regular customer somewhere. Thats what i did now im happily engaged and shes pregnant and it all started with "Hey can i borrow a piece of paper?" wrote down my name and number "Here you go. I thought we could go see a movie together sometime" I smiled confidently walked out and the same day she texted me.

 

I dunno try it!

[thunderbird]

Screw that! Heres a fail safe approach. Just go up to her with your name and number on a peice of paper and say something like "Hi im John Doe, i would love to take you out to dinner sometime." give her the paper, Smile and walk away. If they call or text you your in. If not then you didnt waste any time.

 

Thank you Video, that is a good tip which I didn't know. I will try it to see the outcome of that.

 

Did you ever face to those jerks who talk sweet and want to take your girl away. I mean big talkers but empty brains. Those who think of just lying with girls and nothing more?(Sure you are married now.But how small but still chances are there still)

Those are my problem. I am not a player and my education level and career taught me to be honest, polite and reasonable. But it seems these thing don't work when I deal with girls I am interested. Those jerks are everywhere and as soon as they see a pretty girl, they change their direction to approach her. They talk sweet and boom, she is his... I am more worried about this rather than meeting girls. Cause soon or later I will meet another interesting girl. But how to protect myself from those jerks? Cause if I don't solve this issue, no matter what, when, and where, I will lose her again in the first place.

[Video]

Thank you Video, that is a good tip which I didn't know. I will try it to see the outcome of that.

 

Did you ever face to those jerks who talk sweet and want to take your girl away. I mean big talkers but empty brains. Those who think of just lying with girls and nothing more?(Sure you are married now.But how small but still chances are there still)

Those are my problem. I am not a player and my education level and career taught me to be honest, polite and reasonable. But it seems these thing don't work when I deal with girls I am interested. Those jerks are everywhere and as soon as they see a pretty girl, they change their direction to approach her. They talk sweet and boom, she is his... I am more worried about this rather than meeting girls. Cause soon or later I will meet another interesting girl. But how to protect myself from those jerks? Cause if I don't solve this issue, no matter what, when, and where, I will lose her again in the first place.

 

Woman are attracted to confidence. How to keep your girl from cheating? Be the guy she would cheat on you with. Woman love confidence, and they love a guy who will listen. You need to make her fear losing you. If you have so much confidence that your telling yourself "my girl would never risk losing me!" then your doing great!

 

I tell myself that all the time and it works. Its a cold hard truth...if your woman left you its because you werent good enough. Thats something you have to swollow. But dont obsess over it, learn from it. Why did she leave me? I know why my last girlfriend left...we were together for 6 years and it all comes down to, i didnt give her what she wanted. She found in another man what she couldnt get from me.

 

I make sure every day my wife gets everything from me. Most woman will not risk losing a good thing. I know and i tell myself "there isnt another guy out there that will be as good to her as i am" and its true. I keep her on her toes, keep her wanting more. Im there when she needs me but i dont smother her. I make her feel beautiful, i make her feel safe.

 

Heres a scenario. Your girl walks into a place and a guy approaches her. Already that shows hes confident. Hes into her, shes loving the attention. ANd most likely hes on his game and hes paying close attention and listening catching every little detail. These sort of things fade as a relationship goes on. You need to make sure your still that guy that first went up to her even years later.

 

BE THE GUY SHE WOULD CHEAT ON YOU WITH!

[fortyninethousand322]

Wow, that's crazy. I've had similar things happen to me, though not exactly as you describe. Sucks, but I guess that's life for some of us.

[thunderbird]

Woman are attracted to confidence. ..... Woman love confidence, and they love a guy who will listen.

What do you mean by confidence??? Confidence to ask her out? confidence to talk? I am... But if you mean confidence to be pushy like a jerk, the one who is degrading and make fun of a girl.. I am not.

I these two nights I was thinking about it... Maybe I don't know what this confidence you mentioned is about. I really mean it.

 

Its a cold hard truth...if your woman left you its because you werent good enough.

My definition about being good is to be an understanding person. A person who listens, a person who back his girl. A person whom don't create boundaries for his girl. I saw some of my friends how they treat their girls... I feel so sorry for those girls who are still with them... to tell the truth I really don't know what it is. Either I should be like them and treat girls like the way those guys treat them.. Create boundaries, shouting at them, or acting upset, not helping them etc. By their definition they are acting like a real man???

Why did she leave me?

This is a question that I am looking for its answer. I am thinking I have lack of something which I don't realize it. Maybe I care a lot? Maybe I am too good to them which repeal them. Maybe I am not pushy, maybe I respect them a lot and they feel bored. Maybe I am not touchy, maybe I should make fun of them all the time. Maybe I respect people a lot that girls think that I am needy...I don't know... What i know I can't be those bad guys, act as a jerk. I don't make fun of others. I don't put my burden's on other people shoulders. I can't act like those who I hate... But it look like those girls I attracted me the most all went for those guys, though all got hurt but I am the one who lost the chance.

I know why my last girlfriend left

Sorry about that. I had a girlfriend which I really didn't love her. But I treated her nice. She asked that we get married. I broke up with her cause I didn't see a future with her. I was not interested on her as much as I should. I thought it is not fair to her.

The problem I have is I repeal the girls I interested in... I lose them to other guys.

 

Heres a scenario. Your girl walks into a place and a guy approaches her. Already that shows hes confident. Hes into her, shes loving the attention. ANd most likely hes on his game and hes paying close attention and listening catching every little detail. These sort of things fade as a relationship goes on. You need to make sure your still that guy that first went up to her even years later.

 

BE THE GUY SHE WOULD CHEAT ON YOU WITH!

I totally agree and I appreciate your advice.

 

May I ask you to open the word "Confidence" for me?