Flirts-With-Trees Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 So I don't know how things are overseas but from personal experience around these parts (Britain) me and my mates have come to the conclusion that you need to try to get into someone's pants during the first date. Doesn't matter if ya succeed or not, or whether she is up for it or not, but she needs to see you try, else she might just think that you 're not interested, or just see you as "inexperienced" and just blow you off. General line of thinking being: "I don't like men who try to sleep with me on the first date, but those that don't try ain't men". Or something to that extent. Thoughts? Personal accounts? Counter-arguments? Discuss.
pbjbear Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Anyone who tries to get into my pants on the first date...I never talk to them again. Actually, someone who pressures me on the 2nd or 3rd date gets written off too. Im not into sex obsessed men. You hardly know me, its not complimentary that you hardly know me yet want to **** me...not in my value system at all. I like to get to know someone well and trust them before we go all the way... Plus, if you sleep with someone on the first date, you probably have a high number of sexual partners and thats a turnoff for me. I find guys that sleep around to make terrible boyfriends because they tend to be selfish and have no self control. Its a good thing I dont live in Europe- I wouldnt date at all if I lived there probably.
Treasa Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Anyone who comes to this idiotic conclusion with their mates is probably a sheep who just goes along with whatever the status quo is. I don't date morons.
Standard-Fare Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I'd say that the rule should be more like, try for *something physical* on the first date. Demonstrate clearly that you're attracted. Sex? Not every woman's going to be looking for that to come up as a decision in the first date. In fact, I'd guess that at least half will be put off if they're expected to make that decision. But a kiss -- absolutely. Making out, going for something more -- yes, if she's receptive.
ltjg45 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 General line of thinking being: "I don't like men who try to sleep with me on the first date, but those that don't try ain't men". That is some flawed thinking if I ever saw any. Yeah, let me try to have sex with you after one day, fail, and still win you at the end of the run. Yeah.....that makes a LOT of sense. I'm sure there is more respectful ways to get sexual tension than this.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 General line of thinking being: "I don't like men who try to sleep with me on the first date, but those that don't try ain't men". I think a lot of women think that way. It doesn't always apply to sex only, but if a guy doesn't push things a little bit, he's not interested, or gay, or an inexperienced loser. Not all women obviously, but a lot.
pbjbear Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 (edited) Any guy that wants to date you at the same time wants physical intimacy. I can understand being put off if he makes demands too early but if he makes his interest known in any slight way or implies it then he is out is being too harsh. It will be too hard to find someone who can pass those checks. If they do then they likely won't want physical intimacy at all meaning you are stuck with a friendship rather than a relationship. I said "get in my pants" The OP is referring to going ALL THE WAY. Not kissing, making out, light touching and so on. Im fine with that. He means SEX. No, any guy who tries to have SEX with me before they barely know me gets written off. A guy who is that desperate for sex that he will screw any woman willing kills the attraction for me Edited March 26, 2013 by pbjbear
dasein Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 This is a semantic distinction, and I agree 100% with OP absent the semantic choice. Yes, from first date on, you should be forward in expressing your sexual interest in a woman, or lots of them will in fact get turned off. Almost none of them IME will get turned off for your expressing a respectful sexual interest, trying to kiss them, etc., but lots will get turned off if you don't try. Threads to that effect are frequent here, where guys get a cold shoulder after one or two dates of being a complete "gentleman." You can still be polite and respectful and show a woman you find her sexually attractive, subtlety, wit and innuendo are key. Talking bluntly about sex or coarse invitations are never a good idea on first dates, but are wholly unnecessary to get the point across. OP's choice of "get in her pants" is unfortunate, as it implies rude or lewd connotations.
pbjbear Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 (edited) Any guy that wants to date you at the same time wants physical intimacy. I can understand being put off if he makes demands too early but if he makes his interest known in any slight way or implies it then he is out is being too harsh. It will be too hard to find someone who can pass those checks. If they do then they likely won't want physical intimacy at all meaning you are stuck with a friendship rather than a relationship. You have reading problems. I never said if he makes his interest known in any slight way Id write him off, so no, Im not being too harsh. If men expect sex within 3 dates and thats "too harsh" that I dont want to well Im very GLAD I have turned down all dates within the past 7 months and voluntarily chosen to be single. I dont have to deal with *******s. Any guy who feels "entitled" to my body and affections before he really knows me and knows Im not cool with it is an *******. Any guy who expects sex within 3 dates when I dont want to is scum in my opinion and him writing me off for it is HARSH Im not agitated. I just have a blunt personality and I state my mind. You do know New Yorkers curse alot right? Doesnt mean Im sitting here getting all agitated because some sex entitled jerk says something I dont like. You assume a bunch of things that are very incorrect about me. Dasein above me is correct- yes you should make your interest known. Why not kiss her? Does mean you need to get in her pants on the first date.. Edited March 26, 2013 by pbjbear
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