ls32ssibm Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I'm pretty sure in modern culture it means X wants a romantic relationship with Y but Y only sees X as a friend. If neither have romantic feelings with each other then they are just friends. I just see most people here misusing it.
BitterSweet2k Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 not interested...what did the modern media do to the dating world go ask your parents about "friend zone" lol
TaraMaiden Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 More exactly, it 's when X wants a romantic relationship with Y but Y only sees X as a friend, even though Y knows damn well X wants more. Y likes the friendship so cultivates it, at the expense of X's feelings because Y sees the friendship as convenient and gratifying. If Y isn't aware, then it's Love unrequited and X needs their head slapping.... 2
ltjg45 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I'm pretty sure in modern culture it means X wants a romantic relationship with Y but Y only sees X as a friend. This is what a "friend zone" is. In fact, that is the reason why that term even exists to begin with. If neither have romantic feelings with each other then they are just friends. That is not being "friend zoned". They are just being friends. Case-in-point: Being "friend zoned" is generally a bad thing.....for the guys, of course. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I'm pretty sure in modern culture it means X wants a romantic relationship with Y but Y only sees X as a friend. If neither have romantic feelings with each other then they are just friends. I just see most people here misusing it. The bolded is what the friendzone is. Additionally, it's also next to impossible to escape the friendzone. And sometimes it's not really a "friendship".
TaraMaiden Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 This is what a "friend zone" is. In fact, that is the reason why that term even exists to begin with. That is not being "friend zoned". They are just being friends. Case-in-point: Being "friend zoned" is generally a bad thing.....for the guys, of course. That's exactly what the OP is saying..... So.....?
Mr_Flay Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 It's just a fancy name for someone not being into someone who's being into them. "Let's just be friends" translates to "I'd sooner swallow a kitten than kiss you". And that's that; no need to theorise so much about it. It doesn't even need a special name. Remember: people put THEMSELVES into the friendzone by orbiting around a person they want, but who doesn't want them. Just walk away and concentrate on other pursuits, and you'll never be in the friendzone. 1
ltjg45 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 That's exactly what the OP is saying..... So.....? I thought he was asking which is the two definitions is what "friend zone" actually means. All right. I have proven to be an idiot in this case. Smack me and we can move on.
Video Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 This friend thing between opposite sexes is completely possible. From my observation of friends one or the other gets feelings. Two of my friends who are female were part of a group of friends and she was the only female...she made rounds with all of them. The same was true for my other friend...who i ended up with but for 6 years. I have successfully had female friends with absolutely no interest at all. Its nice to have a female perspective of things. Its easier when that person has a boyfriend/girlfriend which makes them even more off limits and vice versa.
carhill Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 My best example results from the memory of my exW saying, in MC, that we could 'still be friends'. Um, no, I'm not going to feed your ego and be your fix-it boy when you need something done. That's what the friend-zone is, imbalance. It has nothing to do with being 'friends' at all. BTDT plenty in my younger life and 'imbalance', in the sense of what true friends are for each other, is the commonality woven throughout. The better ones could mask a good game but it always came out eventually.
RedRobin Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Here on LS, it seems like a term that mostly men use when they aren't getting sex from the woman they want within a prescribed # of dates. These same men often have difficulty communicating or demonstrating interest other than 'lets f*ck' as a possible option... so... everything that doesn't end up getting them f*cked ASAP (usually by a near stranger) is therefore thrown into the 'friendzone' bin or 'attention whore' bin... I'll agree with posters though, who differentiate between real friends and 'getting to know you as a possible romantic partner' type arrangement. Either one has to be balanced. If your main goal is getting sex and not a relationship... then yea, don't waste a woman's time pretending to be her 'friend' or giving a shyte about her as a person. If you are a woman and just want to pump a guy for free dates and random fix-it stuff without offering something HE values, then move on too. She'd have to offer other, consistent, legitimate friend-type support. And he would have to be ok with that other support not being sexual. Women who string men along make it difficult for women who really just want more time to get to know men before jumping into the sack. Also, the term FWB has pretty much polluted REAL friendship between men and women... so when someone says they have a 'friend' people automatically assume it is something else. (slap to forehead). To me... a FWB is just a fancied up term for f*ck buddies that makes people feel better about themselves.... so no, I don't have those kinds of friends.
TaraMaiden Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I thought he was asking which is the two definitions is what "friend zone" actually means. All right. I have proven to be an idiot in this case. Smack me and we can move on. *Smack - !!* Okay, moving on.....
TheGuard13 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I don't really understand the negative association of "friend with benefits" or "****buddies". I think they're nice concepts. Two people who don't just use each other for sex, but are also friends. Yes, if one of them starts to develop feelings that require a relationship beyond that, it should probably end, but the idea is fantastic.
carhill Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Yeah, casual sex (today called FWB amongst other things) has been around for a long time (all of my life) and is pretty normal in my generation. All of my partners engaged in it at one time or another, according to them. It is far removed from 'the friend-zone', as described in general on LS. In casual sex there is balance. Bodies smoosh together, some orgasms result and people go their separate ways. It works.
TaraMaiden Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 There IS no negative connotation, unless the motive is selfish and for one person to 'use' the other..... It has happened on more than one occasion, that the Dumper has reconnected with the Dumpee, given them a vague message about 'trying again', ended up having sex with the dumpee, then turning round, often the following morning, and basically concluding that they didn't mean it. I'd be very happy to be shown I'm incorrect, but the times I have seen it happen on LS, it has been male-dumper, female-dumpee.... That's a covert and deceitful way of gaining a FWB... if only for one night..... FWB/Phukk-buddies are all well and good, providing both are absolutely clear on what the boundaries are, and that one is not exploiting or manipulating the other, knowingly. Exploitation and Manipulation - knowingly - is one great big bag of Bad Karma right there....
TheGuard13 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 But that's not a friend with benefits scenario...that's a deceitful one night stand.
carhill Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Oh, forgot the most common line from the friend-zone.... 'You must've misunderstood' Yep.
somedude81 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 More exactly, it 's when X wants a romantic relationship with Y but Y only sees X as a friend, even though Y knows damn well X wants more. Y likes the friendship so cultivates it, at the expense of X's feelings because Y sees the friendship as convenient and gratifying. Story of my life. Also just because X wants a romantic relationship with Y, doesn't mean that X doesn't consider Y a true friend. For some reason girls tend to think that if a guy friend is interested in her and ends the friendship with her because she doesn't want to date him, that means that he never thought of her as a friend. That couldn't be further from the truth.
RedRobin Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I don't really understand the negative association of "friend with benefits" or "****buddies". I think they're nice concepts. Two people who don't just use each other for sex, but are also friends. Yes, if one of them starts to develop feelings that require a relationship beyond that, it should probably end, but the idea is fantastic. Since I have male friends and co-workers who are legitimate friends, not f-buddies or 'FWB', I personally resent having people assume I'm f*cking them or they want to F me and I'm just stringing them along. ... and TBH, I've never personally witnessed a FWB type arrangement where one or the other didn't get hurt. One of them almost always wants something more. That's not being a 'friend'... and (like I said) pollutes the real meaning of friendship. Call it polyamory... or f*buddy... or an open relationship... whatever. But keep the 'friend' out of it. That would be my personal wish.
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