Catplates Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 This probably doesn't belong here but then again, I think an aspect of it does. I went on a second date with a guy at the weekend. He hadn't appeared after 30 minutes so I phoned him. . He called back some minutes later. I could not hear what he was saying, except he was somehow caught up with work and couldn't get away that day. I didn't get the details but he said he would call that evening. Well, last night and after 3 days ... total silence. I had absoultely no compunction in emailing him and saying how very impolite and disrespectful he had been to me. Oh, also that I didn't put up with that crap from anybody and would have no further interest in him. NO more making excuses for bad behaviour and the point of the story is: I have learned to have stronger boundaries and recognise when I am being treated badly. so, thank you AFFAIR! 20
Author Catplates Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 I heart your post. LOL, and I can say me too! Hard way to learn our lessons but we did and that is what counts. :) PS, saw your post about your previous name.......I'm blonde, didn't realize it was you. Good to have you here. I know you are.. I remember everything from here. Nice to be back for a while. I feel sane. 1
AnotherRound Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Good for you for having and keeping healthy boundaries! I learned that lesson with my exH years ago - it's one of the only things I'm thankful to him for - helping me learn EXACTLY how I shouldn't be treated...
Got it Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Good for you! He is not worth your time! I always look at dating and recruiting the same, how a person acts in the beginning is them on their best behavior, it is only going to relax from there. Definitely puts some things in perspective.
cocorico Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I always look at dating and recruiting the same, how a person acts in the beginning is them on their best behavior, it is only going to relax from there. Definitely puts some things in perspective. Another reason I have never dated! He hadn't appeared after 30 minutes so I phoned him. . He called back some minutes later. I could not hear what he was saying, except he was somehow caught up with work and couldn't get away that day. I didn't get the details but he said he would call that evening. Well, last night and after 3 days ... total silence. I had absoultely no compunction in emailing him and saying how very impolite and disrespectful he had been to me. Oh, also that I didn't put up with that crap from anybody and would have no further interest in him. NO more making excuses for bad behaviour and the point of the story is: I have learned to have stronger boundaries and recognise when I am being treated badly. so, thank you AFFAIR! Wow Cat, what a total pig! If he could answer his phone, he could have called you to let you know beforehand. Why any man, M or S, expects any woman (GF, W or OW) to be OK with this kind of treatment defies my understanding! I guess that explains why he's S.... 2
Silly_Girl Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I had a second date with a man I REALLY liked. What I did NOT like was hearing how tough he'd had it and how his love life/job/relationship with his mother would have been better if.... blah blah BLAH!!!! A couple of years before I might have felt some empathy, but I really had zero interest and there was no third date! I'm with you
georgia girl Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 GOOD FOR YOU!!! Now that you know how you want to be treated and you are confident enough to demand it, you are going to see amazing results. Keep posting. It's such a bright spot.
Lillyfree Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 i'm with you! i'm not dating as i'm married still, but now i know what i will definitely not put up with and what i want. one good thing out of all that A mess is that it's made me a stronger person overall. i will not make excuses for anyone anymore! 1
neveragain34 Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 I can totally relate! In a way, I am glad I went through my A experience. My self-esteem may have been at it's lowest during the A, but now it has never been higher! It taught me so much about myself and what I DON'T want in a man. As soon as I notice a red flag, I am done. No more making excuses for undeserving men. 3
egalew Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 Good for you Cat. I too feel post affair I'm learning to have stronger boundaries, which for me largely mean speaking up. People would do the most inappropriate things to mean and I would never say a damn word. I kinda admire those women who go postal and yell, scream....well, sorta. But here's a story tad bit along your lines. Two years ago I had a date with a guy from POF. When he called to make a second date, I said yes, even though it was just okay. I thought I give him a second chance. Well, in the middle of talking and making second date arrangements, he gets another call, puts me on hold, and never comes back! I didn't follow-up. Two years later, and very recently in fact, I get a message from him on POF saying, "How has been your experience on POF? Hopes its better than mine. (LOL). Would you like to go out again?" At that point I e-mailed back, reminding him what he did. Said I had no interest. But if he like to buy me dinner, I'd welcome that. Never heard back. 1
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