adubon Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Hi all, i need your advice! I've known this guy for 2 years now, we used to work together and became friends. He changed jobs and now he's my client so we still keep in touch. Since we were working together all of my friends said that he liked me, but he never did anything about that. I accepted I liked him about 6 months ago, so one day we discussed the subject and defined we liked each other but he isnt ready for a formal relationship, and since im looking for one, we would be better off just being friends as usual. 3 months ago he asked me on a date, and we've been dating ever since... just to see if he changes his mind on not wanting a formal relationship. My friends know, his friends know, and we act like a couple ... according to him we are more than friends with benefits (no sex still) but im just wondering if i should give him more time to consider things... about 2 weeks ago he said he wasnt ready yet... we havent discussed the why, but im starting to get a bit annoyed by this. What should i do?
amy12 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Depends on him/you but I'd say talk to him. Ask him why he's not ready for something pretty basic like a relationship. I'm assuming if you're working, you're full adults. Ask yourself: what do you want? Is it fear? Would therapy help him come around or is it just that he doesn't like you enough? If that won't help don't waste anymore time, go find someone else. Btw, everyone gets scared of the future, you're supposed to be there for each other, not as enemies.
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 What should i do? Move on. He's known you for two years and dated you for three months. He still isn't ready for a relationship. You've always wanted one. Cut your losses and stop wasting your time. He doesn't want a relationship with you.
sabre80 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 This won't end well. What are the ramifications on your career if this goes down south and you loose a client?
Author adubon Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 We considered this before we begun dating... and in any case if it goes bad, im mature enough to not let it affect our working relationship... that's not a concern for us.
Author adubon Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 Move on. He's known you for two years and dated you for three months. He still isn't ready for a relationship. You've always wanted one. Cut your losses and stop wasting your time. He doesn't want a relationship with you. Yeah its been veryyy slow... but in those 2 years he didnt have any girlfriend or relationship either so i dont knwo what to think. Maybe you´re right and he doesnt want anything serious with me. Im thinking ill give it some more time while it doesnt bother me that much....
grkBoy Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Hi all, i need your advice! I've known this guy for 2 years now, we used to work together and became friends. He changed jobs and now he's my client so we still keep in touch. Since we were working together all of my friends said that he liked me, but he never did anything about that. I accepted I liked him about 6 months ago, so one day we discussed the subject and defined we liked each other but he isnt ready for a formal relationship, and since im looking for one, we would be better off just being friends as usual. 3 months ago he asked me on a date, and we've been dating ever since... just to see if he changes his mind on not wanting a formal relationship. My friends know, his friends know, and we act like a couple ... according to him we are more than friends with benefits (no sex still) but im just wondering if i should give him more time to consider things... about 2 weeks ago he said he wasnt ready yet... we havent discussed the why, but im starting to get a bit annoyed by this. What should i do? Sometimes you have to kick someone in the rear or walk away if they won't give you what you want in a relationship. I tell many men to do this, and I tell many women as well. You deserve better than to just be in limbo. It's time for him to man up.
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Yeah its been veryyy slow... but in those 2 years he didnt have any girlfriend or relationship either so i dont knwo what to think. Maybe you´re right and he doesnt want anything serious with me. Im thinking ill give it some more time while it doesnt bother me that much.... And that's probably why after two years he finally settled and started dating you. I'm sure you're an incredible person with a lot to offer, but for whatever reason, you're not what he seems to be looking for. So he drags his feet and is ambivalent about an actual relationship. When he meets her, whoever she is, his enthusiasm, pace and progress on the relationship front will surprise you. This has nothing to do with you. It happens. Not every guy is going to like us. What matters is that you learn not to waste months and years of your time as a fun side distraction while he remains on the lookout for what he really wants and seeks. Time to let go and get on with your life. Focus on finding a guy who is enthusiastic about pursuing a relationship with you. 1
Author adubon Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 You are probably right Cutiepie... thanks!
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