pushingdaisies Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 i am trying to figure out if there is such a thing? i suffer from bipolar disorder and my ex recently came to terms with having serious depression... most likely bipolar disorder as well, but unclear of the extent because he was not completely on board with his very few therapy sessions. we have been on and off for nine years, mainly because we werent happy with ourselves as individuals, but the last three years he finally made a committment to me. we got into a very heated, escalated fight two weeks ago where i lost control of my mental illness, anxiety and fear and it all went to hell. he had to restrain me and he burst into tears, but by then it the damage was done. he broke up with me and said i was a "constant bombardment in his life" - that he cannot be the person he needs to be as long as im around. i feel so defeated. for months i had encouraged him to seek mental health treatment, not only for himself but for us. i feel like he never gave us a chance and instead of being "all in" with me and our relationship, he waited until he left me to say he wants to go to therapy again. he had always blamed my stressful job for the reasons why i have been so edgy lately, which is true, but i feel like he abandoned me. like he didnt even love me enough in the first place to fight FOR me... not with me. i know that most of you think that two weeks is too soon to judge the end of a relationship, but i really think its done this time. this was awful and i am beyond ashamed that i let my mental illness control me. he had sent me a text to "keep and enjoy" his parents wedding dishes he left at my house. the fact that he wont even bother picking up his parents wedding dishes makes me feel like a monster. i know i am very wrong, but at the same time he was no angel, either. im taking ownership of my actions, but i am also beating myself up every day. all i ever wanted was wellness between us, but now i dont believe this exists. will someone like me ever be in a relationship with all my flaws? am i worth anything at all?
The Tallest One Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 pushingdaisies, yes you will be with someone else, someone who will accept you no matter what! No one is perfect, we all have flaws and issues to bare! I suffer from ocd, anxiety and depression so I understand mental illness! All you can do is focus on you, continue to get help for your illness and strive to improve the quality of your life! It will take time to move on from this last relationship so be gentle and patient with yourself! My ex was never fully on board or fully committed and when things got even a little rough, she would always bolt! We need to find people who are all in, fully committed to making things work! It's hard to find people like this in today's society, but we are two examples of these kinds of people! Be strong and you will get through this, your life is precious and worth fighting for! 1
lovelyde Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Mental illness does stem from not being with the right partner. Please seek out the appropriate guy. Once you are with the right guy, and for the right reasons, not for the sake of ego, then the mental illnesses should go away. -
todreaminblue Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 i am trying to figure out if there is such a thing? i suffer from bipolar disorder and my ex recently came to terms with having serious depression... most likely bipolar disorder as well, but unclear of the extent because he was not completely on board with his very few therapy sessions. we have been on and off for nine years, mainly because we werent happy with ourselves as individuals, but the last three years he finally made a committment to me. we got into a very heated, escalated fight two weeks ago where i lost control of my mental illness, anxiety and fear and it all went to hell. he had to restrain me and he burst into tears, but by then it the damage was done. he broke up with me and said i was a "constant bombardment in his life" - that he cannot be the person he needs to be as long as im around. i feel so defeated. for months i had encouraged him to seek mental health treatment, not only for himself but for us. i feel like he never gave us a chance and instead of being "all in" with me and our relationship, he waited until he left me to say he wants to go to therapy again. he had always blamed my stressful job for the reasons why i have been so edgy lately, which is true, but i feel like he abandoned me. like he didnt even love me enough in the first place to fight FOR me... not with me. i know that most of you think that two weeks is too soon to judge the end of a relationship, but i really think its done this time. this was awful and i am beyond ashamed that i let my mental illness control me. he had sent me a text to "keep and enjoy" his parents wedding dishes he left at my house. the fact that he wont even bother picking up his parents wedding dishes makes me feel like a monster. i know i am very wrong, but at the same time he was no angel, either. im taking ownership of my actions, but i am also beating myself up every day. all i ever wanted was wellness between us, but now i dont believe this exists. will someone like me ever be in a relationship with all my flaws? am i worth anything at all? I have these questions too pushign daisies i suffer from mental illness....i dont think they have truly diagnosed correctly what i have...i do know i can rock a relationship, ill give it my best shot when i do get in one eventually in this millenium if ever, everyone has flaws ..i try harder than possibly i should, because of mine, and have empathy for others flaws....and having mental illness can skew perception and reactions to situations doesn't mean you cant have a relationship, you just need awareness of when to have major discussions and when to leave the talking fro another time you also need an understanding accepting kind compassionate partner who will take you as is......then you can truly flourish with the right support...mental illness doesnt go away but if it definitely becomes more manageable with someone who supports and understands you ....that way, you can give the same level of support and understanding back......best wishes...never lose hope....deb
CC12 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Mental illness does stem from not being with the right partner. No. Once you are with the right guy, and for the right reasons, not for the sake of ego, then the mental illnesses should go away. Incorrect. Being with the right guy is not going to magically make any mental illnesses go away. will someone like me ever be in a relationship with all my flaws? am i worth anything at all? Of course you're worthwhile. And you can someday have a successful relationship. But you do apparently have some flaws that directly influenced at least one breakup. Are you currently undergoing therapy? How is it going?
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