Inana Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Hi everyone! my ex contacted me after 14 month. about an hour ago i got: "Hi *my name*. i know this is out of the blue, me messaging...Can I ask your advice on something. Thanks in Advance! - *Her name*" she broke up with me, in a txt message. no calls or face to face talk. after 2 years i got dumped like a dog. i moved on but only after going through hell because she told me every nasty thing she could when she was dumping me. i know its sad for a guy to cry but i did almost every day for 2 month because i loved her so much. and now i got that message about an hour and a half ago. Why do people do that? i can't say i really forgive her but i tried hard to move on and i managed to do so. so what would you guys do? reply or ignore? about 2 month earlier a common friend of us told me she said hi. i ignored it. if there is a girl among you, would you mind telling me why would someone contact you again after such a long time with a message like that? 2
Caryopteris Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 She sounds like a nut to act like that. My breakups have never been like that. I'm still friends with many of my exes. She is full of herself and she doesn't respect you. I'd suggest ignoring her, but I suspect your curiosity will make that difficult for you. I think you will regret talking to her.
Author Inana Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 Thanks for the reply. My curiosity has already made it difficult (its 12:55 am and im still thinking about it all). In my mind if i reply then i validate everything she did/said to me. People just rip your hearts out of your chests, stomp on them and leave you with this unyielding pain and you are left on your own to learn to live with it. Still don't understand why she sent me that. And still don't know what i should do with the message,.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 If you are still this emotional about it, then no, don't reply. Seems like there's still some hurt.
benice Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I think that who ever she was with, she is no longer with and is probably regretting her decision now. This looks like small talk to start talking to you again. If you are really that curious then answer the message, but be very direct and to the point. Give her all the room to talk, let her do the talking. This might help you heal, because you can either get so anoyed with the nosense she might say, and really get over it, or she may want you back, and at this point you can now have the power to be nice and say thanks but no thanks. This will also make you feel better. I say go for it, and see. But this is just my opinion. Good luck..
sunshine63 Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 She is fishing. She cast some bait and hopes you will bite. Sounds like you are still hurting from the way she treated you. As hard as it is, ignore it. There are many women out there who would love to be with you and treat you like you deserve to be treated in a relationship.
thefooloftheyear Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 I think if I got dumped like that I would feed into it, see if she gets her hopes up...then tell her to eff off..... TFOY 1
Survivor12 Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 To answer the ? you asked in your OP--why someone would contact you after so long with a message like that?... I have a closet full of shoes. Even though I don't wear some of them often, I hang on to them because I like knowing they're there "just in case". Sometimes, I come across a pair I haven't worn for ages and decide to wear them either because I'm bored with the ones I wear frequently or just because they're there. In case you haven't caught on, she's treating you like a pair of old shoes and the text was her trying on that pair of shoes to see if they still fit. If you don't respond, chances are you will either be tossed to the back of the closet "just in case" or donated to Goodwill. More directly, I'll just say that if she were really interested, she would have taken the initiative to let you know that she is sorry for what happened before and wants to reconnect with you. Instead, she tossed you a breadcrumb and expects you to make the move. When someone is truly interested, they will make the effort. She didn't. Ignore and move on. 1
Asda Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 (edited) She wants to get back.I think look inside you now. Give it a try if you want, make changes in relationships though. 2 years is nothing. It takes time. I have similar story, but I did so much for my ex ( paid tuition 14000$, supported her monthly 2000$ for 2,5 years, gifts, flowers etc.(relationships long distance)) And I broke NC(after 18 months) no response at all. I did so much and I am ignored like total jerk. So all stories are different. Edited March 30, 2013 by Asda
anna121 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 It also is possible that she is such a self-absorbed emotional moron that she really DOES have something she wants your advice on. I mean, hey! It's been 14 months! Surely you're not mad anymore? I'm just saying...it happens. In either case, responding would be a baaad idea.
TaraMaiden Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 She's obviously completely over the whole thing, and is assuming that naturally, you must be too.... so she's assuming that because, hey - it's in the past - she can approach you like a buddy, sail in, ask a favour and get a similarly jovial reply. It begs the question as to why you've not blocked her form contacting you, or changed your number.... both sound ideas, I'm sure you'll now agree. Just ignore it. If it still smarts to hear from her, and you can't let go of stuff yet - read the No Contact Guide in my signature (updated 2013).
Comfortably Numb Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 I read a lot of poetry and really can't express my gratitude for such reflections on myself, its best you worry about those that want to be in your life, and not just in need of you for handouts or to play childish games. I can sympathize with you, but at least you got a text message for a breakup. Not all are warranted such "formalities." I would personally ignore and keep looking forward. If the pain still resides then there is no point in opening a healing wound just for bloods sake. "If suddenly you forget me do not look for me, for I shall already have forgotten you. If you think it long and mad, the wind of banners that passes through my life, and you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots, remember that on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms and my roots will set off to seek another land."
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