fortyninethousand322 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 What does the average male between age 25 and 35 really think of girls who don't put out right away and have strong morals? Also if she rarely drinks, never does drugs or party. Does this turn the average male off? I find that most guys in this age bracket are still in the party scene, and don't want to waste time on a girl if she won't put out or party. Sounds good to me. Incredibly though, I see a large number of those types of women going after the party guys. So, who knows.
Els Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 If you are speaking about me in this concrete case... I am no hypocrite and I don't do casual sex myself... I have been with 5 women in my whole life and all of them in a Long term relationship. No, no, I'm not talking about you. I'm aware of and respect your views on sex and Rs in general. I'm talking about several others. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Eh I have actually had a man make fun of me because my number is small :/
ltjg45 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I'm curious why you feel people who wait for sex and don't drink or party have 'higher morals' than others, though. I don't put out early, drink, or party, but I don't feel I have 'higher morals' than others who do. I do prefer a guy who's like me, but that's more of a compatibility thing than a feeling of superiority. This is the part where I don't need to know. Unfortunately, due to social media, it is difficult to keep such information locked down unless you have been sleeping with only guys with good character. I'm sure most women has made an error in that department at least once if they was having casual sex semi-often. However, once I do find out about it, I start to wonder how many players she has slept them, if they are still around nearby and, if I were to meet them out of the blue while going out with her, see if he would be cruel enough to actually mention it out loud while in public just for his own entertainment. Not to mention whether she has protected sex or not and the thoughts of what she did sexually with these guys. All of them is not images that I want in my mind. So, while I won't cross them off my "could date" list, I do prefer the non-party, non-drinking kind of woman or a woman that has a lot of casual sex but with only 1-2 males at the most and they both accept the FWB ideal while having high character.
Els Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 a woman that has a lot of casual sex but with only 1-2 males at the most and they both accept the FWB ideal while having high character. Uh.... what? If you're having casual sex with only 1-2 previous partners, you ain't doing casual sex right.
pbjbear Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I dont sleep with people quickly. I consider myself to have strong morals. I do my damn best to not lead men on, use them or hurt them. I try to live by the Golden Rule. I have been told by countless men that they like how honest I am and and genuinely care about other people. I find most men in their 20's to NOT like women who dont sleep with them early. I was talking to a friend about this the other day because a guy got P.Oed she wouldnt sleep with him in the first 4 dates and she wanted to wait longer. After all the stories I told her about the things men have said to me when I dont put out early (how they degraded me over it, tried to manipulate me into it, put me down) she told me I should write a blog about this topic. I have had a few that didnt mind though. But they were few and far inbetween. One of my biggest issues in dating is that I want to wait at least a month before going all the way sexually. Unfortunately, (esp where I live- NYC) hooking up is becoming very common and since more and more women are doing it, the women who dont are seen as prude, manipulative and frigid. Now, not having sex early makes you a weirdo (or at least in NYC where there are a ton of beautiful women willing to have sex with you right away...I hear LA is the same) I dont do it to be manipulative- I like to wait because I enjoy sex better when I can trust someone and have a certain level of feelings for them already. I also have self respect. Guys dont buy this mentality of mine...
Emilia Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I am no hypocrite and I don't do casual sex myself... I have been with 5 women in my whole life and all of them in a Long term relationship. I know you are not a hypocrite but how can you have 5 LTRs when you are in your 20s? There is no official definition but you would expect and LTR last at least 18 months, more like 2 years at least. Hard to achieve 5 of them by 27 (if I remember your age correctly) 1
ltjg45 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Uh.... what? If you're having casual sex with only 1-2 previous partners, you ain't doing casual sex right. I was referring strictly as FWBs. I'm not referring to actual relationships. Although if they was in relationships, that is fine too. I just prefer the women that don't have high number or, if they do, they are with generally decent guys and not the kind that I want to stab in the back in the middle of the night.
pbjbear Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I find this topic to be irrelevant anyway. So many guys say they want a "good girl" but those are the ones that wait before sex and they dont like it. Most men want a "good girl" who hasnt slept around but will put out early for THEM (because its an ego thing). That doesnt happen too often. All of the people in my social connections that are "good girls" with sex make EVERYBODY wait, no matter who the guy is. (myself included)
Els Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I know you are not a hypocrite but how can you have 5 LTRs when you are in your 20s? There is no official definition but you would expect and LTR last at least 18 months, more like 2 years at least. Hard to achieve 5 of them by 27 (if I remember your age correctly) Hmm, I think people tend to classify anything over 6 months or so as a LTR. I personally say at least a year, but eh, I guess everyone's free to have their own definition of it. 1
Bengal Tiger Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Eh I have actually had a man make fun of me because my number is small :/ I've had women do that to me because they were insecure. They needed validation by banging as many guys as they can to feel better about themselves.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I find this topic to be irrelevant anyway. So many guys say they want a "good girl" but those are the ones that wait before sex and they dont like it. Most men want a "good girl" who hasnt slept around but will put out early for THEM (because its an ego thing). That doesnt happen too often. All of the people in my social connections that are "good girls" with sex make EVERYBODY wait, no matter who the guy is. (myself included) Seems that way doesn't it? Everyone wants to feel like they're special. Maybe some of it has to do with sex drive. Mine's pretty low so I could easily wait a year, probably longer than that.
Emilia Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I could make it fit in your LTR definition because my first girlfriend (the one I lost my virginity with) was when I was 15 yo... but I actually not going to play that game... I call a LTR all those relationships you enter in thinking they will be for ever ... I have had what I call LTR of 2 months and one of 6 years (my intention was always for the relationship to last but for one or other reason it didn't work)... It is not about the time but about the intention... My motivations when I had sex with them were love and not just the use of their body to my own pleasure! I hope that clarifies your mathematics... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I knew it! All the praying all the praising yet you will sleep with a girl when you 'love her' for 2 months hahahaha Yeah right. Hate to break it to ya but 2 months counts as 'casual'.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I knew it! All the praying all the praising yet you will sleep with a girl when you 'love her' for 2 months hahahaha Yeah right. Hate to break it to ya but 2 months counts as 'casual'. 2 months sounds like a short amount of time to me too, but then again, almost every single woman I see on OKC says she wants sex by date 6, which is probably a lot sooner than 2 months.
Emilia Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 2 months sounds like a short amount of time to me too, but then again, almost every single woman I see on OKC says she wants sex by date 6, which is probably a lot sooner than 2 months. Depends on how many dates you have of course. You are not deeply in love with someone in 2 months though, it's the penis talking. Nothing wrong with that but it's best to be clear about your own intentions.
StanMusial Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 So many of you on this forum talk about numbers and this and that. I have had several gfs in my life and dated more than I can remember, and the topic of "numbers" rarely ever came up. Granted, I could guesstimate based on the girl, but I tried to steer clear from the ones with a certain reputation. So maybe I never felt it was an issue. Am I alone in this?
pbjbear Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Seems that way doesn't it? Everyone wants to feel like they're special. Maybe some of it has to do with sex drive. Mine's pretty low so I could easily wait a year, probably longer than that. If theres anything I could tell younger women about dating its that men are huge hypocrites. They expect so much from you without holding themselves to the same standards. Its ridiculous and why I have little interest in dating. Men are disrespectful and selfish yet expect women to be respectful and selfless. They get away with it because overall, society says its in a woman's nature to be nurturing and giving towards others while men arent. 1
carhill Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 What does the average male between age 25 and 35 really think of girls who don't put out right away and have strong morals? Also if she rarely drinks, never does drugs or party. Does this turn the average male off? When I was in your age group, OP, there simply were few to none in my demographic who were not already married. I was single until my mid 30's and approached and dated many women during that period. At the time, I would have valued such a lady highly. Now, I could really care less. Too much water under the 'propriety' bridge. Good luck.
ltjg45 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 If theres anything I could tell younger women about dating its that men are huge hypocrites. They expect so much from you without holding themselves to the same standards. Its ridiculous and why I have little interest in dating. Men are disrespectful and selfish yet expect women to be respectful and selfless. They get away with it because overall, society says its in a woman's nature to be nurturing and giving towards others while men arent. You really need to be more realistic because, even though the majority of males is like that, (and I have seen that first-hand. This is why I almost don't have any male friends at all) not everyone is really like that. If I ever get the chance to go to NYC, I would like to meet you in person if the opportunity ever arise. I would love to see what you mean with my own two eyes.
Els Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 If theres anything I could tell younger women about dating its that men are huge hypocrites. They expect so much from you without holding themselves to the same standards. Its ridiculous and why I have little interest in dating. Men are disrespectful and selfish yet expect women to be respectful and selfless. They get away with it because overall, society says its in a woman's nature to be nurturing and giving towards others while men arent. Nah, I'm a younger woman and I know for a fact that not all men are this way. My bf is fine with waiting for sex and has had one partner. He holds himself to exactly the same standards that he holds a partner to, if not higher. 2
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 If theres anything I could tell younger women about dating its that men are huge hypocrites. They expect so much from you without holding themselves to the same standards. Its ridiculous and why I have little interest in dating. Men are disrespectful and selfish yet expect women to be respectful and selfless. They get away with it because overall, society says its in a woman's nature to be nurturing and giving towards others while men arent. I don't know about all of that, but it's a good idea to be skeptical about people until they earn your trust. I'd like to think I'm a good guy with good morals who isn't a hypocrite. So I'd like to think not all guys are horrible people. I could be wrong though...
pbjbear Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I don't know about all of that, but it's a good idea to be skeptical about people until they earn your trust. I'd like to think I'm a good guy with good morals who isn't a hypocrite. So I'd like to think not all guys are horrible people. I could be wrong though... I dont think Ive ever observed a relationship where a guy was very respectful and not selfish to the same degree as the woman except for one in highschool. Its pretty much a given. They can start out nice but once the honeymoon wears off they all become selfish and expect the woman to do most of the work.
Lonely Ronin Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I dont think Ive ever observed a relationship where a guy was very respectful and not selfish to the same degree as the woman except for one in highschool. Its pretty much a given. They can start out nice but once the honeymoon wears off they all become selfish and expect the woman to do most of the work. No wonder you have dating related problems with an attitude like that....... 3
ltjg45 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I dont think Ive ever observed a relationship where a guy was very respectful and not selfish to the same degree as the woman except for one in highschool. Its pretty much a given. They can start out nice but once the honeymoon wears off they all become selfish and expect the woman to do most of the work. This is why women should not be giving up sex so quickly. After all, this is what the man wants initially when he approaches a female. If he was a keeper, he would be fine with holding out. Once he gets the sex, he gets lazy and selfish. This is also why I prefer women with a low number because of that same reason. It gives me comfort knowing that there is a very low chance I would run across one of the males she used to sleep with. 1
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