What do guys think of girls who are not promiscious and have strong morals?

[RedRobin]

I know this is what you think Red, it's Ok, you're entitle to your opinion. It makes me smile though, because most of them women I have dated would set your ears on fire if they knew you where referring to them as naive, or retarded. They have all been highly motivated very strong willed women.

 

I specifically avoid the really sensitive, highly emotional women, because I was raised in a home with a very strong mother, so I'm not very good with the delicate flower types.

 

I say this because, it is my impression that you expect the women you date to have different standards for YOU and that they don't hold for other men.

 

We had a whole other thread on things I use for screening a man before I'll agree to be intimate with him and you had a conniption.

 

Same thing here... you don't seem to take well to women screening on things. Just an FYI.

 

Edited: and to clarify for the moderators...

 

LR, you seem to want a woman with strong morals.... except with you... because she should just be able to 'see' that you are a nice guy.... like "MAGIC"...

 

THAT is retarded. and naïve. and what I'm objecting to on this thread. Lazy guys wanting to stay lazy and insist the rules don't apply to THEM.

Edited March 27, 2013 by RedRobin

[Lonely Ronin]

LR, you seem to want a woman with strong morals.... except with you... because she should just be able to 'see' that you are a nice guy.... like "MAGIC"...

 

THAT is retarded. and naïve. and what I'm objecting to on this thread. Lazy guys wanting to stay lazy and insist the rules don't apply to THEM.

 

I have no problem with strong morals, or pretty much any screening question. I'm pretty much an open book and will answer just about anything. However, the woman in question needs to be prepared to answer the same questions, as well as deal with the fact that I'm going to judge her based on what how and when she asks certain things. In some cases I'm going to judge based on what she doesn't ask as well.

[RedRobin]

I have no problem with strong morals, or pretty much any screening question. I'm pretty much an open book and will answer just about anything. However, the woman in question needs to be prepared to answer the same questions, as well as deal with the fact that I'm going to judge her based on what how and when she asks certain things. In some cases I'm going to judge based on what she doesn't ask as well.

 

Fair enough. I'm not going to ask for anything I'm not willing to provide either...

[pbjbear]

I think we could go back and forth arguing about how women are expected to be held to a different standard than men in relationships and men get away with it because society says they dont need to be caring and selfless like women need to be. So Ill ignore all those comments.

 

Does a guy who has a strong mother tend to like strong-willed women? I ask because alot of the guys Ive dated have submissive mothers who were too willing to take care of them and they did kind of expect me to be the same way.

[MrNate 2.0]

My opinion is that I simply hope you find someone whose morals and values align with yours.

 

 

Gonna take more than that to turn this brotha on.

[Lonely Ronin]

and men get away with it because society says they dont need to be caring and selfless like women need to be. So Ill ignore all those comments.

 

Um, not where I was born and raised. Most of the women i have dated would tell you I'm very caring and nice, and thoughtful, but I'm still a guy who was raised in a very masculine environment, so I'm still rough around the edges. Hell that's the number one reason I reject a women, because I don't think they can handle the rough bits.

 

Does a guy who has a strong mother tend to like strong-willed women?

I can't speak for all of us, but this guy does.

 

The question is can you deal with him? Most likely he isn't going to back down and give in when he feels strongly about something, because neither did his father, and he has seen his mother not fall to pieces over it.

 

A woman I dated in college had this problem, both of my parents are strong willed as am I. Her and her mother where strong willed, but her father was not. She was so used so seeing her mom get whatever she wanted, that we didn't mesh well at times, because i wouldn't give in all the time, just because she thought she was right.

[Lonely Ronin]

Guess what people on loveshack.org? There are people who show obvious red flags...but guess what? There are people who are very good at hiding personality flaws, and there are NO red flags until much later down the road. YES, there are people that exist that are this good!!!!!

 

Unfortunately, it is a risk you take and nothing you can do can prevent this from happening. Stop bashing people on this site for not being mind-readers

 

Guess what.....

 

when a person has an ongoing problem with people of low quality, man or woman, the problem is with them. They need to get better at weeding out the undesirables. No one is perfect, but if every guy you date is a looser the problem is with you, as you are not learning from your past mistakes.

[Woggle]

I cant speak for the other person but I dont have an ongoing problem with it. It has happened to me with 1/4th of my relationships where their personality took a turn for the worse after some time. 2 out of 8 relationships. But it has happened to me. My point is that people on this site think this can never happen. People on this site assume signs are ALWAYS there so its ALWAYS your fault for not seeing the signs. Nope, not 100% of the time.

 

Go look at the Marriage forums here. I see many posts about men saying their wives personalities change after they get married and they were the nicest sweetest girlfriends and all of a sudden this other side comes out. It does happen. A person cannot control this happening- its a risk you take. Maybe some of those men are dumb and clueless to the signs that were there, but I dont think all of them have wives that gave signs...

 

I most cases if you look back in hindsight you can see the signs. When I look at my first marriage I don't understand how I didn't see it coming.

[carhill]

Does a guy who has a strong mother tend to like strong-willed women?

 

That's a good question. The difficult part is defining what 'strong' is.

 

I'll provide an anecdote from personal experience, in three parts:

 

Strong physically. Grew up on a farm. Worked the vineyard. Killed animals. Taught me how to fish. Fixed her own car. Worked on aircraft as a young lady before getting married.

 

Strong mentally and emotionally. Dealt with a large family as a young person, as well as an alcoholic father. Faced many life challenges as a Depression era young person/adult. Adapted and overcame. Married for life. After widowed, lived alone. 'I had my marriage and my love'. Like many Depression-era people, financially frugal. Willing to sacrifice personal comfort.

 

Strong femininity/feminism. Believed men and women have their roles in relationships and society and each should play to their respective strengths. Believed in women in the workplace and in workplace equality. Worked in two male-dominated careers prior to getting married. Always a lady. Dressed to go out. Never 'sloppy'. Always wore modest makeup, even when elderly. Paid attention to her body through diet and exercise throughout her life. Could give me a 'run' for my money even in her 70's. Dinner was on the table each night, clothes were laid out each morning and the newspaper was next to father's chair when he got home. She 'took care' of her man in many of the 'traditional' ways, even with her progressive views, which were indoctrinated into her son.

 

So, no, I'm not looking for someone 'strong' like my mother. That's completely unreasonable. Besides, a son nearly always idolizes his mother so I freely admit my viewpoint is biased and skewed. Some aspects of those strengths are valid and attractive though, in general, particularly the devotion to spouse, marriage and family, along with being able to display marked femininity even when promoting a more 'male' demeanor.

 

Both parent's role models as non-promiscuous people likely were a large part of my reticence to become promiscuous as many of the males and females of my generation did at different times of their lives. It just didn't 'compute' for me. I don't see it some much from a 'right' or 'wrong' standpoint but rather more as a personal choice. I won't get any rewards when I die for having few sexual partners. I'll just die.

[nofool4u]

What does the average male between age 25 and 35 really think of girls who don't put out right away and have strong morals?

 

I love 'em!!!

 

I'm one of those guys who prefers not to have sex right away. It just doesn't bode well for a relationship to know someone could so quickly put out. Because to me someone like that probably isn't too trustworthy.

 

But I won't generalize that because, although I've never done it, most people probably have had at least one encounter like that after a night out.

 

 

Also if she rarely drinks, never does drugs or party.

 

My kind of gal. I don't want a woman who likes to party. Partiers, IMO, can't be trusted. Rarely drinks is fine with me. I never get plowed and the most I might have is a social drink without getting drunk. I don't like feeling like sh*t the next morning.

 

 

I find that most guys in this age bracket are still in the party scene, and don't want to waste time on a girl if she won't put out or party.

 

I actually partied BEFORE I turned 21, then quit soon after because it wasn't fun anymore. And I grew up.

[KungFuJoe]

I think we could go back and forth arguing about how women are expected to be held to a different standard than men in relationships and men get away with it because society says they dont need to be caring and selfless like women need to be. So Ill ignore all those comments.

 

Does a guy who has a strong mother tend to like strong-willed women? I ask because alot of the guys Ive dated have submissive mothers who were too willing to take care of them and they did kind of expect me to be the same way.

 

Honestly, if you want to know what kind of man you're dealing with, find out how his relationship was with his mother.

 

Warning signs will be men who were coddled and babied well into their teens and beyond. Or men who were abused and neglected.

 

The coddled men will expect you to do everything for them.

 

The neglected ones will latch onto you like a baby to a boob.

[miss_jaclynrae]

different men will think different things.

It is all about morals/wants/stages being in the same area.

[KungFuJoe]

I agree with this but I think the example a father sets also makes a big impression.

 

 

 

I will also add that men who are raised without a father (strong one) or primarily by a women tend to be over the top "Nice" Guys that repeal women.

 

Both parents are important but it's the "opposite" parent that is most important.

 

A daughter needs her father most.

A son needs his mother most.

[ltjg45]

Does a guy who has a strong mother tend to like strong-willed women? I ask because alot of the guys Ive dated have submissive mothers who were too willing to take care of them and they did kind of expect me to be the same way.

 

I have a mother that expects me to take care of her. Due to this, I'm developing hatred for her.

 

As a result, I don't prefer strong-willed women since I probably bend easily to her.

[RedRobin]

There were no signs with my previous boyfriends that did this. Im not kicking myself for not picking up on any signs and everybody who knew them agreed with me, that they were surprised as well.

 

Lots of people show their "best behavior" for the first few months of dating. It has made me untrusting towards men during these stages.

 

I think it is wise to trust people in stages...

 

This is why people date before marriage. Sometimes people change their minds. Sometimes incompatibilities arise.

 

It's good you aren't kicking yourself. It IS very disappointing though... I agree. To have to start over and wonder if/when you are going to see the real person. Waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop... or so it seems.

[theloyalone1]

I just became a new member because of this post. I have fairly strong morals and it does affect in my dating world. Let's just say virgins STILL exist even at the age of 28...