ryan89 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I'll give a brief background on this: I met a girl on an online site probably around a month or so ago. We are both in our mid-twenties. We have since gone on 4 dates: 1. Drinks, no kiss. 2. Ice skating, holding hands, kiss at the end 3. Out all day for St. Patricks day, embracing and kissing variously throughout the day and at the end. 4. Dinner and a movie, snuggled a little bit during the movie, again a kiss at the end (2, actually). She (claimed) she loved all the dates (especially the ice skating) and previously said she would like to go again sometime. We are both going away this week for different reasons and won't be able to meet up again until next week. However, I asked if she wanted to meet up this past Saturday maybe at my place to watch the basketball (she loves watching sports,) but she said that she had some family thing on Saturday and probably didn't want to do anything after and just wanted to relax (and she later called to say that), and I didn't receive any contact from her on Sunday. I have been taking things slowly with her because I really genuinely like her; however, I am starting to wonder if I am taking things too slowly, and if she is starting to lose interest..? I have had a good amount of physical contact with her, so it is not like I haven't made advances on her, but we haven't made out or anything like that, and I haven't tried to initiate anything really intimate because I don't want to go too fast. I had a bit of a feeling that she thinks I should have gone a bit further on our fourth date...She flew out this morning for her trip and I contacted her to see if her flight was ok and she did respond, but I replied to her and haven't heard from her since. Do you think she is losing interest, or am I just paranoid ? I haven't dated in a while, so that may explain my attitude hah. I've met her friends and she said they all seem to really like me, so I'm hoping that works in my favor as well.
40 Fonzarelli Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Hate to sound like a PUA dude but you didn't escalate enough. 3 dates with only pecks? Maybe she got tired of you not making the move. I've had dates lose interest in me because I never tried to have sex with them on the first few dates. 1
Author ryan89 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 Figured I'd get different responses I've seen too many cases online of guys playing girls just for the sex, and then bailing. I really don't want that, and so that's why I've been escalating slowly. I think I'll shoot her a quick "miss you" or something like that (maybe a little more than that) maybe on Wednesday and see how she responds. I do want to give her space since she is on vacation so I won't flood her inbox or anything like that.
todreaminblue Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I think its going well for you ...do you feel a naturalness with the dates nothing forced?.....i dont think its bad at all.....deb
iKING Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 If she's still going on dates with you then you must be doing something right. 2
Author ryan89 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 (edited) I think its going well for you ...do you feel a naturalness with the dates nothing forced?.....i dont think its bad at all.....deb Yeah, the last date was pretty much constant conversation (not like me running my mouth the whole time or anything like that, but like lots of stories, etc.) and she seems to enjoy being around me in that sense. We cuddled during the movie but I didn't make any moves because I knew it was a movie she was really wanting to see and let her watch the movie instead. She's a huge movie buff, me not so much. I'll keep my distance and let her enjoy her vacation and maybe check in Wednesday or something like that. Edited March 26, 2013 by ryan89 1
creighton0123 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Stay cool. Call her the day *edit* AFTER *edit* she gets back (screw texting. Texting is potential relationship poison, in my opinion). If she doesn't answer, leave a voicemail asking for her to call you back. If she doesn't call you back, move on. 1
SJC2008 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Stay cool. Call her the day *edit* AFTER *edit* she gets back (screw texting. Texting is potential relationship poison, in my opinion). If she doesn't answer, leave a voicemail asking for her to call you back. If she doesn't call you back, move on. ^^^^^ Also, DON'T text her you miss her. That's OTT IMO. No sweet nothings until official or you're confident in her interest level.
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 So far you're doing all the right things. Stay true to you and how you're feeling. If you miss her, tell her so. I'm really touched early on when a guy I'm dating clearly likes me and misses me when I travel. If she doesn't feel the same way, it will clarify things and prevent you from wasting a lot of time. Agree with calling her rather than texting her. Give her space and time to respond to your text first. If she doesn't, then call her when she gets back.
PogoStick Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Your dates are fine. You're over-doing the texting and communication though. Let her have some time to miss you. A few days here or there. Plus it shows that your life is busy and you're not just laying around thinking about her all the time. Save your expressions for when you are together. Whether you're moving too slow depends on the girl. Good chance you're not moving too fast though. As a man it's your job to escalate and her job to resist. Start playing your part. She won't be mad at you for trying.
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