DoubleDown25 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Hey, I started dating one of my long time friends from college, we had a great start and stuff went very fast for us, so fast that after 4 months she wanted to move in with me along with her toddler daughter. I found she has a terrible way of dealing with stress by taking it out on everyone around her and because I was around her so much, that was normally me. She also was a "drama queen" and made a huge deal about the littlest thing at times, her folks even warned me about how emotional she could be. She was also very, very immature at times too despite being in her late 20's and would get upset if I went out with my friends every-now and then by myself. She wanted me with her 24/7 and I ended up becoming mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. Some of my friends and family members did not like her either and thought she was just using me to provide a better life for her and her child and also thought she was manipulative. I realize this relationship probably would have never worked, but I'm having a hell of a time getting over it. I stopped talking to her after a fight about a week ago and broke up. I've always been able to just move on easily in the past...not this time. I dont know if its because I miss being around her child or what.... Any tips? Thanks:cool:
polyglot Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Hey, I started dating one of my long time friends from college, we had a great start and stuff went very fast for us, so fast that after 4 months she wanted to move in with me along with her toddler daughter. I found she has a terrible way of dealing with stress by taking it out on everyone around her and because I was around her so much, that was normally me. She also was a "drama queen" and made a huge deal about the littlest thing at times, her folks even warned me about how emotional she could be. She was also very, very immature at times too despite being in her late 20's and would get upset if I went out with my friends every-now and then by myself. She wanted me with her 24/7 and I ended up becoming mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. Some of my friends and family members did not like her either and thought she was just using me to provide a better life for her and her child and also thought she was manipulative. I realize this relationship probably would have never worked, but I'm having a hell of a time getting over it. I stopped talking to her after a fight about a week ago and broke up. I've always been able to just move on easily in the past...not this time. I dont know if its because I miss being around her child or what.... Any tips? Thanks:cool: If you enjoy head aches, imagine a life with her.
Author DoubleDown25 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 Forgot to mention, her child is super misbehaved, mostly because of no discipline. I like kids but her child is by far the worst behaved kid I have ever met in my life. Regardless, I liked her kid...but totally exhausting!
lovelyde Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 You got yourself in this mess because you were looking for some action, right? It's your fault. Take responsibility and clean this matter up yourself.
Author DoubleDown25 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 Not at all. We reconnected as friends and stuff progressed from there. I wasnt looking for a girl, but if one came along awesome...
lovelyde Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Instead of looking for a girl, why don't you just go for the girl you always dreamt about hooking up with? You need to marry her, or get with her before some undeserving pervert takes her away from you. Or if she's in a relationship with your friend, you know that he doesn't deserve her. She'll be happier with you. One chance in a lifetime. Don't let the girl of your dreams get away. Stop her from marrying that bozo!
Author DoubleDown25 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 Well this is going downhill quickly
Am4Real Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I'm not sure what you find so inviting in this situations. Your SO has issues; her child has issues; and the relationship was causing you to have issues. What are we missing -- finding someone else sounds like a no brain'er??
todreaminblue Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Hey, I started dating one of my long time friends from college, we had a great start and stuff went very fast for us, so fast that after 4 months she wanted to move in with me along with her toddler daughter. I found she has a terrible way of dealing with stress by taking it out on everyone around her and because I was around her so much, that was normally me. She also was a "drama queen" and made a huge deal about the littlest thing at times, her folks even warned me about how emotional she could be. She was also very, very immature at times too despite being in her late 20's and would get upset if I went out with my friends every-now and then by myself. She wanted me with her 24/7 and I ended up becoming mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. Some of my friends and family members did not like her either and thought she was just using me to provide a better life for her and her child and also thought she was manipulative. I realize this relationship probably would have never worked, but I'm having a hell of a time getting over it. I stopped talking to her after a fight about a week ago and broke up. I've always been able to just move on easily in the past...not this time. I dont know if its because I miss being around her child or what.... Any tips? Thanks:cool: I think what happened was for the best going into a relationship others deem you as a white knight......not a good scenario for you, for her, for her child...single mothers dont need white knights, they need someone who accepts them for who they are, accepts they have children or a child and loves them both regardless of what others might say or project...if you cant do that, and you question her motives for being with you its a no win situation....fro everyone especially the child who needs to see a loving relationship so she may have one too, to know the difference between healthy and unhealthy....if love isnt the first reason dont go there....... that single parent is better off by herself and alone than in a relationship that doesnt exhibit love as a guide so that child need not see resentment build.......move on ....best wishes....deb
Author DoubleDown25 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 I never questioned her motives until a couple of my close family members/friends talked to me about it. I can see there side, and that may have been the case....but who knows... I have been I relationships with single mothers before, it is a lot to take on, but I never saw the child as a negative and enjoyed having them around. Just stinks. We already knew each either so well from our friendship and for the most part got along great....I just can't see how I can continue to be with someone who drains me that much. I couldn't really imagine living with her.
lovelyde Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Then don't live with her and let another guy who truly loves her take her over. For now, tell her that she has a "soulmate". Was there ever a guy who appeared in her dreams to comfort her? It's most likely someone she admires- and in actuality, he admires her back but is too shy to approach her directly. Tell her to get in contact with him, even if she thinks he's out of her league. Everyone has a "soulmate" whether they know it or not. -
Author DoubleDown25 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 ^well now I feel worse. Idk, I already feel like a jerk because I know us breaking up is going to hurt her kid, but not much I can do.. I do care about her and there is a lot of potential, but just too many issues to work out or for me to take on right now. She is fiarly newly divorced also, so there were issues stemming from that also...
lovelyde Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Is there someone she ultimately admires? Like, is there a man she talks about or checks up on frequently? Tell her, "Why don't you message him and let him know that you appreciate what he's doing to enrich your life experience? Maybe he's doing all this stuff because he secretly likes you and hopes you're noticing his efforts to fulfill your needs and desires." -
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