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Posted

It so happened that I was in a position where I shared my divorce with my boss. It was the day after I busted my ex, and was distraught over the betrayal and lies that had come my way after 25 years together. Needless to say, it showed, and I felt it was a good thing to let my boss know that I am going through a divorce now.

 

As it turns out, he now has shared that info with someone I would have preferred they not know. That person is part of a group known to be manipulators and corporate politicians. My sense is that they may or do use this info in an attempt to undermine my reputation.

 

My therapist suggested for me to evaluate if my boss breached confidentiality in sharing my personal info with these people.

 

Does anyone have more insight/information as to where to start looking? HR is not the place for me, as my boss is married to the second in command in that department.

 

Thanks!!!!

Posted

He certainly breached confidentiality, but not in the legally actionable sense; he had no legal duty to you that I'm aware of to maintain confidentality.

 

Consider it a lesson learned. Some people can be confided in, and some, perhaps most, cannot.

 

What's your concern about how these others can use the information? What's there that can hurt you? I ask because there may be some way for you to manage the risk.

  • Like 1
Posted

IMO, document your employment record as a baseline and then continue to document during your divorce process. How you do this would be best advised by a labor lawyer. If you are materially harmed through the actions of others, and can prove it in the record, you may/can have action against them personally and/or the company as a whole. The key is having smoking guns which hold the deep pockets feet to the fire. Business can be ugly. Don't be afraid to get right in there and be ugly with the rest of them. Think of it as bloodsport. Good luck.

  • Like 3
Posted

I wanted to avoid the rumor mill at my office. Once it was obvious I was going to divorce I just called a meeting and told everyone and explained that while it was a tough time there was no point in having a bunch of rumors and that I intended to do my job through it as best as possible. I explained I'd rather not talk about it and left it at that.

 

Most offices are a small world. You can't hide things like that for long.

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