mrconf Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I was with my ex for 4 years. In the last 2 years she moved abroad temporarily for work. Initially I completely supported her, but after a year into our long distance relationship things became hard with us arguing over petty things. She also would always question whether we were right for one another. Things became more strained for various reasons before I regretfully pulled the plug. Mostly because I asked her to put a time limit for when she would return home but she wouldn't commit. I know I broke her heart through this - she really loved me as I did her but I guess I felt I had had enough. We spoke/argued about getting back together for 4 or 5 months after until we eventually stopped talking. After another 4 months or so I met someone else and we've been going out for about a year. Initially, I was taken back by this girl. She's so smart and I think she's beautiful. The thing is we started arguing a lot after dating for 5 or 6 months. And to make things more confusing I discovered my ex had moved back from abroad. I really wasn't enjoying the arguments I was having with my current girlfriend and I was tempted to end our relationship had it not been for an expensive holiday we had planned. That holiday didn't start well but half way through we both decided to make an extra effort to get on. Since then I feel we argue less although still have pretty serious arguments from time to time. I can tell she's really into me but I am finding it hard to reciprocate. I know I was more affectionate when we first started dating but it feels that, although we have got over the worst in terms of arguments, I still need to rebuild that original trust. The problem is that I know I still have feelings for my ex. There's not a day I don't think about her and of fond memories of the things we did. I did get in touch with her briefly a few months ago and I got the feeling she would be willing to try again. I am just worried that the things we fell out over haven't changed and if we got back together it might not work. I am also worried that my girlfriend could be the right person for me and all I have to do is work harder at it. I also don't want to break any more hearts - I am still wrapped up in guilt over my ex. I'm really not sure what is going on in my head and I'm hoping someone here might have an impartial opinion?
Poppy fields Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Give the relationship you are in a true chance to work out without outside noise. Don't talk to your ex, and see if you and your current girlfriend can work on your issues. If you honestly try that, and it doesn't work, you should break up with your current girlfriend before even beginning to communicate with the old girl. That way you have given it an honest chance without having the old girl waiting in the wings in case things don't work out. Then... if the old girl is still available, and you are still interested, maybe you guys could start over fresh. 1
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