13 days after she came over and flirted infront of me they're in arelationship

[calgary]

everybody keeps telling me about it.

 

What a crumby friend and lousy ex. Really unfair on both parts that she'd flirt with my friend infront of me..

 

and then for him to say he'd never do that to me.. only to be in a relationship with her 13 days later.

 

I guess they must really like each other to move that fast. that's just flat out crazy.. we only broke up at the beginning of January. and kept contact until the middle of February.

 

I'm just in shock. i'm not really upset to be honest I think this has helped me move on so much. I really don't care about her at all or want her back.

 

I just want peoples views on this situation ? is it wrong to want it to fail? is it wrong to assume it's just a rebound ? is it wrong to assume she's trying to hurt me ? i'm unsure what to think.

 

All I know is that I regret ever meeting either of them and wasting my time and money with them.

[Mack05]

I just want peoples views on this situation ? .

 

same bull***** different day Calgary...Seriously...

 

You have already gotten great views on the situation...It's happened, nothing has changed so why do you keep yourself in this negative downward spiral? Many people in LS have been screwed over. I've been screwed over (ex of 8 years cheated and physically hit me). Behaved the same way you are right now..Obsessed like a lunatic. The betrayal consumed me.

 

You know where it got me?

 

I became a cynical, insecure dickwad who couldn't trust anyone. I pushed girl after girl away. Instead of enjoying a relationship, I would spend all my spare time looking for fault in it. I became more and more miserable within my own life. My abusive ex is married with a kid enjoying her life. I am now 37, single and spend way too much time on this website, because I don't want people to make the mistakes that I have made.

 

Calgary you are going to be me. No one can get through to you. It seems there is no stopping you on this path to self destruction. If you get involved with this new girl, you will destroy that relationship and then the relationship with the girl after that..

 

There are together having a blast. Your stuck on here obsessing about something you have no control over. Obsessing about people who should never matter in your life again.

 

Game Over. They won, you lost...

Edited March 25, 2013 by Mack05

[polyglot]

everybody keeps telling me about it.

 

What a crumby friend and lousy ex. Really unfair on both parts that she'd flirt with my friend infront of me..

 

and then for him to say he'd never do that to me.. only to be in a relationship with her 13 days later.

 

I guess they must really like each other to move that fast. that's just flat out crazy.. we only broke up at the beginning of January. and kept contact until the middle of February.

 

I'm just in shock. i'm not really upset to be honest I think this has helped me move on so much. I really don't care about her at all or want her back.

 

I just want peoples views on this situation ? is it wrong to want it to fail? is it wrong to assume it's just a rebound ? is it wrong to assume she's trying to hurt me ? i'm unsure what to think.

 

All I know is that I regret ever meeting either of them and wasting my time and money with them.

 

It's natural for you to want to judge the right thing in her actions. Unfortunately your mind also thinks of her, because she's your ex, so, it's not unnatural to think she's hinting you by instigating you.

 

Why the **** on earth do you even care? Don't give a fu... to it? Take care of your life bro. These things unfortunately occupy our mind and confuse us, consuming our time incessantly, even if it be in a small way. Like wanting a clarification lol.

[Chi townD]

What...More people telling you that you got screwed over by them? Well, it explains her actions as of late.

 

But, you already knew you got screwed over. SO!!! Time to move on. But, If people are approaching you, then it's kind of a daily reminder of what happened.

[Simon Phoenix]

How is this any different from the other threads you've started on this? They suck, the hell with them. Don't dwell on two crappy people -- it's a waste of your time.

[calgary]

I just think it's a joke! they can't be seriously already be in a relationship after meeting up twice and knowing each other 13 days.

 

they both just came out of long term relationships 2 months ago.

 

I think I just wrote this without thinking.. it was bound to happen I saw it coming but I think it was just faster than I expected is all i'm saying.

 

From what my friends were saying tonight he's throwing it all over facebook how he can't wait to see her and stuff. surprisingly it doesn't sting anymore at all. like take me back a month and i'd have probably thrown up at the thought of her with another guy and now I just find it surreal.

 

I really feel like it's better if your ex pulls a stunt like this. I was besides myself 2 months ago.. and now I really hate her for all the ' I love you and miss you I just need to sort my life out before I can be in a relationship ' talks she gave me whilst holding my hand and crying on my shoulder in my car 4 weeks ago horse sh*t.. telling me she felt suicidal etc.

 

I got lucky I could have been married to that with a mortgage and 5 kids to feed.

 

i'm just in shock I've never seen a person change so much so quickly.

[Mack05]

I just think it's a joke! they can't be seriously already be in a relationship after meeting up twice and knowing each other 13 days.

 

WHO CARES

 

they both just came out of long term relationships 2 months ago.

 

WHO CARES

 

I think I just wrote this without thinking.. it was bound to happen I saw it coming but I think it was just faster than I expected is all i'm saying.

 

WHO CARES

 

From what my friends were saying tonight he's throwing it all over facebook how he can't wait to see her and stuff.

 

WHO CARES

 

I really feel like it's better if your ex pulls a stunt like this. I was besides myself 2 months ago.. and now I really hate her for all the ' I love you and miss you I just need to sort my life out before I can be in a relationship ' talks she gave me whilst holding my hand and crying on my shoulder in my car 4 weeks ago horse sh*t.. telling me she felt suicidal etc.

 

**** HAPPENS

 

I got lucky I could have been married to that with a mortgage and 5 kids to feed.

 

YES

 

i'm just in shock I've never seen a person change so much so quickly.

 

GET OVER IT

 

Mcnulty is a guy that got burnt like you. Search for his threads and watch how you are supposed to deal with this kind of adversity..The guy is an example.

 

My ex left me for my friend, I kept my dignity, posted on here and LISTENED to the advice, strict silence, respected the fact that the twat had who i thought was the love of my life....11 months later, the idiot emailed me thinking he could be my friend asking for advice on their relationship...they ended, he was nuts.

 

Fast forward 14 months...She is in my life, pushing now, for a reconcilliation...aint gonna happen, you know why? Soiled goods..breaks my heart, but life has these tricks....

 

Please Calgary enough now....

[thefooloftheyear]

Mcnulty is a guy that got burnt like you. Search for his threads and watch how you are supposed to deal with this kind of adversity..The guy is an example.

 

 

 

Please Calgary enough now....

 

I think McNulty should start a post and tell his story...Its a lesson on how to handle this kind of adversity..

 

Hats off to him!

 

TFOY

[Mack05]

Calgary,

 

You will never believe what happened to me!!!!!!

 

After my Exes and I broke up, all of them eventually met someone, they dated, entered into a relationship, fell in love, engaged, married and most have several kids together.

 

Crazy... huh?

 

Everyone who reads this will have their Exes do the same thing.

 

Except for Calgary who will spent the next 6 months going "why me", "or how could they?" or "why this?" "Why that?" "Whats the name of their new smelly cat?".

 

Eventually he will meet a new girl, but because he wasted months and potentially years obsessing/analyzing these two f c uking idiots, he will lose this special new girl, because he didn't work on his issues when he had the chance.

 

What a waste...Calgary the people that focus on their mistakes/flaws post relationship and not their ex's, are the ones that lead fulfilling lives and have healthy nourishing relationships..By obsessing the way you are, u are heading down the same road they are..

Edited March 25, 2013 by Mack05

[fancy feast]

Ask your friends to stop telling you about it.

[calgary]

does anybody know how to block instagram from popping up on your newsfeed on facebook ? could really use some help as I assume they'll be taking pictures together soon.

 

I'll be fine im not getting in contact i'm trying to avoid places they'll go, trying my best to avoid hearing about them, I've asked people not to talk about it in front of me.. I suppose that looks weak of me like I care or i'm hurt or whatever, but it helps

[calgary]

I like that mcnuity guys attitude. I am listening im just venting. I guess. I am no contact i'm not harassing them i'm not the other guy.. i'm not trying to win her back I don't want her back now she's 'soiled goods' as he put it. Feel the same way as him.

[SendHope]

I'm not trying to get on you, please keep this in mind.

 

But you seem to be excessively updated on your ex's activities judging by all the threads that you create.

 

It's as simple or as complicated as you have to be.

 

Your goal: "I want to heal and move on."

 

You focus on that goal and do whatever it takes. Some days will be bad, some days will be better.

 

Ask your friends not to mention her if they bring her up. Lose the "friend". You do whatever it takes to connect the roadways to your goal.

[calgary]

this was just a moment of weakness I needed to vent. it's obviously not nice to hear that they're in a relationship already.

 

i don't know what came over me i just needed to let it out. i guess it bothered me after all and i didn't think it would anymore

[Mack05]

mate you are kidding yourself. This has been going on two months. I've never seen soo many threads more or less about the same thing. To help yourself you need to..

 

1) Get to therapy and talk about your issues....

2) ask your friends to stop talking about them.

3) deactivate facebook until you are healed.

4) watch the thinker, if you see yourself obsessing, stop yourself and move your train of thought. Your mind when used in the wrong way is a very negative tool..

5) read mcnulty's threads if you have the urge to create a new thread about the same bull$h!t

6) exercise exercise exercise

7) stop creating threads! At least cut down on the volume. No more need to vent, you know the situation. Be a man and deal with it!. Stop asking pointless questions that none of us have the answer for, at least the answers you are looking for. LEAVE IT GO. It doesn't matter 'why' anymore...

8) read self help books, particulary on the areas you know you have flaws. the power of now, getting past your breakup, break your addiction to a person I found very helpful. I have recommended these before. Did you bother buying them? No as I said in another post same bulls@h!t different day. Why don't you buy and then read the books? Cause you don't want to help yourself so why should we keep trying?

 

Now enough asking for advice on the same nonsense and venting. When you feel you are losing control just read this post and do one of the 8 things listed above. It really is that simple. The problem is you are NOT listening hence the need to create thread after after thread! Enough already!

 

The only threads you should be creating going forward are assistance in how to move on and how to self improve. Do not mention the backdrop to your story. We all already know. By doing anything else you are seriously hindering yourself..

Edited March 26, 2013 by Mack05

[calgary]

mate you are kidding yourself. This has been going on two months. I've never seen soo many threads more or less about the same thing. To help yourself you need to..

 

1) Get to therapy and talk about your issues....

2) ask your friends to stop talking about them.

3) deactivate facebook until you are healed.

4) watch the thinker, if you see yourself obsessing, stop yourself and move your train of thought. Your mind when used in the wrong way is a very negative tool..

5) read mcnulty's threads if you have the urge to create a new thread about the same bull$h!t

6) exercise exercise exercise

7) stop creating threads! At least cut down on the volume. No more need to vent, you know the situation. Be a man and deal with it!. Stop asking pointless questions that none of us have the answer for, at least the answers you are looking for. LEAVE IT GO. It doesn't matter 'why' anymore...

8) read self help books, particulary on the areas you know you have flaws. the power of now, getting past your breakup, break your addiction to a person I found very helpful. I have recommended these before. Did you bother buying them? No as I said in another post same bulls@h!t different day. Why don't you buy and then read the books? Cause you don't want to help yourself so why should we keep trying?

 

Now enough asking for advice on the same nonsense and venting. When you feel you are losing control just read this post and do one of the 8 things listed above. It really is that simple. The problem is you are NOT listening hence the need to create thread after after thread! Enough already!

 

The only threads you should be creating going forward are assistance in how to move on and how to self improve. Do not mention the backdrop to your story. We all already know. By doing anything else you are seriously hindering yourself..

1)what are my issues help me find and address them be as harsh as you want.. i can't get counselling here for another 3 months i guess everybody in this place/hell hole, is going through stuff.

 

2) i have asked the majority, just every once in a while somebody catches me out. in this instance it was my best friend who used to date the guy who is now seeing my ex.

 

3) im already avoiding the places i'd like to go and the people id like to hang out with to avoid hearing about them, i'm spending my weekends in... and the only communication i seem to get with the outside world anymore is facebook. i think i figured out a way to remove instagram posts i should be okay.

 

4) i couldn't find this thinker? all i found was about a statue which i read about anyway. yeah my mind is logically in a place where i want nothing more to do with her and i feel like I've had a good week or two where I've stopped obsessing as much as i used to.. but lately I've been having some bad dreams i can't seem to shake and i wake up in a bad mood.

 

5) i sent him a private message. hopefully i'll hear back soon. poor guy. it took him at least 8 months to recover judging by the threads.

 

6) i'm exercising constantly. I've lost 28 pounds since the break up two months ago. i wasn't even that big to start out with in fairness it's been a little unhealthy. but loss of appetite and working out did it.

 

7) i suppose with the threads it's sort of like a diary i hope to one day look back and reflect on. just recording all of my feelings and getting them out. i know they're repetitive.

 

8) i bought the book on breaking addiction but i struggled with it.

 

i'm doing a lot better than i was. i just keep having bad dreams where i see them together holding hands and i don't know how to handle that situation if i ever see it in person which i no doubt will..

 

i'm not interested in ever having anymore communication with her or him. i'll never take her back.

 

i do really like this new girl, even if nothing comes of it i'm enjoying the flirting and getting to know her and looking forward to the weekend. it's nice to have that in my life at the moment.

im not expecting anything serious and she knows my situation. but she doesn't mind.

she seems ridiculously nice. Im just not ready for anything serious right now as everyone on here can tell.

[grace777]

Calgary - I have also read many of your threads, but I don't think I've posted before. First of all I'm sorry you got screwed over by your ex and your friend. That is hurtful, but you WILL get through this. But only when you WANT to. In a strange way, I think a piece of you enjoys the comfort in wallowing in the discomfort. Take a leap of faith and close those doors.

 

Delete facebook/instagram/etc. Not too long ago, we all functioned just fine without them. Delete them at least for a few months. Reactivate them when you're healed.

 

Step 1 - get counseling. If you can't get it in your town, drive to the next town. It's necessary for you to stop obsessing on them.

 

You keep asking "how can they be together?" "is it a rebound" and all these other questions. Bottom line - YES, they are together. You have no idea if it's a rebound or not. My ex left me for another, the other left her partner too - double rebound (sound familiar?) -- maybe --- then again, maybe not! They're still together and it's been nearly 6 months. Who cares about them anyways. Your ex and your friend are gone. Never to return.

 

You need to accept this. All the psychoanalyzing in the world is not going to bring either of them back. That chapter of your life is closed. Turn the page, my friend. You're re-reading the tragic ending of that scene and wallowing in the heartache --- in just a few more pages wonderful new characters arrive, exciting adventures, even love --- turn the page!

[calgary]

Calgary - I have also read many of your threads, but I don't think I've posted before. First of all I'm sorry you got screwed over by your ex and your friend. That is hurtful, but you WILL get through this. But only when you WANT to. In a strange way, I think a piece of you enjoys the comfort in wallowing in the discomfort. Take a leap of faith and close those doors.

 

Delete facebook/instagram/etc. Not too long ago, we all functioned just fine without them. Delete them at least for a few months. Reactivate them when you're healed.

 

Step 1 - get counseling. If you can't get it in your town, drive to the next town. It's necessary for you to stop obsessing on them.

 

You keep asking "how can they be together?" "is it a rebound" and all these other questions. Bottom line - YES, they are together. You have no idea if it's a rebound or not. My ex left me for another, the other left her partner too - double rebound (sound familiar?) -- maybe --- then again, maybe not! They're still together and it's been nearly 6 months. Who cares about them anyways. Your ex and your friend are gone. Never to return.

 

You need to accept this. All the psychoanalyzing in the world is not going to bring either of them back. That chapter of your life is closed. Turn the page, my friend. You're re-reading the tragic ending of that scene and wallowing in the heartache --- in just a few more pages wonderful new characters arrive, exciting adventures, even love --- turn the page!

I like this way of looking it, I felt like i'd turned the page and continued and found these new characters and I have I feel good about it and stuff.. it was just a set back.. it's like breaking no contact I suppose. it just makes your stomach go funny and then the sad dreams have starting coming back to haunt me again.. and I just wake up in a bad mood.

 

I want to forget she exists. like everybody keeps saying, they're not worth getting upset over or comparing my life to or anything just move on. you're right they're gone for good. there's a ridiculously nice girl infront of me giving me attention here and i'm so wrapped up in this mess i'm blind to a good opportunity. i'm not ready to be in a relationship at all but it's a shame because obviously if i'd never met my ex and gone through this heartbreak i'd have been so happy right now that this girl is giving my attention.