syndactyly Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Hello. I just broke up with my boyfriend of four and a half years. We are both in our early twenties. I broke it off with him because I started losing interest sexually, socially, ect. I became bored with him and thought of him more as a friend, as well as sick of his bull**** too. I broke up with him abruptly two years ago too, which lasted about a month and a half. He took me back, which I had wanted at the time. It was for just about the same reasons. The big reason though for both of those breakups was because I really like my coworker. It sounds crazy, but I was on a lot of medication which causes crazy, terrifying nightmares and vivid dreams. I was in a rough point in my life, (still am battling through it though, fibromyalgia, idiopathic headaches, depression) and had several dreams a night. Most of these dreams I was convinced were true or would become true. Absolutely convinced. Some of the dreams included my coworker. Granted, I only dreamed about (and still do, just not as much thankfully) sex, rape, murder, and gory killing, thanks to the medication. I had one dream where he kissed me, and it was amazing and woke up wishing it were real. One time we had sex. Again, this is all in my dreams. So I got up the nerve to break it off with my boyfriend because of that. But then we got back together. In that almost two month period of boyfriend absence, my coworker became extra flirty with me. We work in a restaurant, nothing fancy, but he is higher up than me authority wise. We have always been flirty, and I consider us friends. We've never hung out outside of work (my boyfriend would have never allowed me, or would have become irate), but we do text sometimes. He sends me jokes because he knows I love them. Apparently he had a girlfriend at that time, the same one he has now. They were on/off alot though. I had deeply wanted for him to ask me out, but he never did. He probably thought I was going to end up back with my boyfriend (which I did) and that dating a coworker was a no-no. Maybe. But I was also certain that he was preparing too. Our coworkers always thought of us as being good together. Fast forward to now (and thank you so much for reading all this), I have ended the relationship for good and I am sticking with that. I want to date my coworker. He has his girlfriend of about five years (and we are all close in age) and confides in me about their problems, how she makes him mad, ect. I did that to him about my boyfriend too. I love talking with him and he cracks me up. Bottom line is, will he ask me out? Will he dump his girlfriend? Is he waiting for me to remain single? Do I sound delusional that he will dump his girlfriend for me? I have never crossed the infidelity line and wish not too. I'm positive he thinks the same way. Thank you.
Tressugar Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Bottom line: Never get your honey, where you get your money! You'll end up regretting it later. You wouldn't want to date him if he were to break up with his girlfriend tonight. You only will end up being the rebound. Food for thought: you guys may be the cool friends now, but there are no guarantees how you will work out as a couple in a steady, long- term relationship. If it's meant to be it will happen.
Author syndactyly Posted March 26, 2013 Author Posted March 26, 2013 I know there's no guarantees, and I am okay with that. As for work relationships, some say its a taboo with others do not. I'm with the latter.
Tressugar Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 If you are okay with the risks involved then dive in... Just keep in mind HR's policy about interpersonal office romance. And how would you conduct yourself if there was to be a break up between the both of you and the possible awkwardness of working with the person you're sleeping with. It's one thing to have a relationship with your guy in a different department than yours as opposed to working closely with your guy and seeing him every second of every day. But hey! Maybe you are one of the few who can pull it off. Either way the best of luck to you.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 OP, don't sh*t where you eat. Tres, if that's you in your avatar, you appear to be hot. My eyes thank you. 1
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