destroyed4sho Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 copingvortex- I think everything everbody is saying on here is right. But.....if you feel like you need a little bit more pain to break that false hope you have then keep doing what your doing. Im not being sarcastic. Some people need more pain and confusion to make a breakthru and tell themselves okay 'no more of this!'. You need more pain and suffering from this woman. Also, were.you seeing this woman when she was married? Did she leave her husband for you? It seems that way reading previous posts but not sure. I think alot can be said about.this if it is true. Maybe you still have hope because she.left her husband for you and now you feel she will leave this other man for you.too. She did it once maybe she will do it again type thinking.
geegirl Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 We have been apart for four months. Four months mean nothing, especially when she's come back, still in a relationship with someone else and "confursed" about what to do. A far cry from learning, growing and evolving, as Simon put it.
ThatJustHappened Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 No I wouldn't buy that would between her and I. I wouldn't expect him to not try to get her back. I don't understand what you mean..this makes no sense grammatically. But essentially what I'm trying to say is that she is emotionally cheating on him with you right now and that what you're doing is unfair..and you wouldn't like it if she did it to you. Plus..if she can cheat on him, she can cheat on you.
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 Lets all be real here ok. The fact is most relations is BU because one person in the relationship meets someone new. Starts to talk to speak to someone new vu phone calls, flirting texting sexting. This whole site is full of people that were broken hearted because their ex met someone new. Are you trying to tell me all of those people left their ex before they started talking to someone new ? So none of you ever met someone new and left an ex over it? If so you are truly the exception not the rule. The majority of all relationships end I that scenario. Do you think the new suitors really cared about the other persons bf or gf at the time? Please. If you believe be this isn't the norm than I have some swamp land to sell you. I'm sure everyone here left someone for someone new they met and talked to them before they left their ex
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 I'm not the one who has affairs with married women. I'm not the one who enters into relationships with someone who just got divorced. I'm not the one who pursues, dates or enters into relationships with women who cheat, have no character, morals, values, etc. I'm not the one who believes I am "Captain Save A Ho" and pursues, dates and enters into relationships with "unhealthy" women that have a cargo ship full of "baggage". I'm not the one who pursues someone who dumped me. I'm have not acted, behaved or let someone else treat me like an a-hole, you are. Hopefully this pride assists you in getting over her sooner. You, your self-esteem, self-respect, self-worth was circling the toilet when you met this chick. Problem is, you are one of those nasty turds that requires a double or triple flushing. Don't worry, she isn't going to stop flushing until your gone and that is only in a matter of time. LOLOLOL!!!! Dude get some therapy quick. You are one lonely angry person. LOLOLOL!!!
Simon Phoenix Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 We have been apart for four months. And once again, you miss the point entirely. You've been broken up for four months, but you haven't been "gone" for four months. And like the other posters have said, four months is a drop in the bucket.
geegirl Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Lets all be real here ok. The fact is most relations is BU because one person in the relationship meets someone new. Starts to talk to speak to someone new vu phone calls, flirting texting sexting. This whole site is full of people that were broken hearted because their ex met someone new. Are you trying to tell me all of those people left their ex before they started talking to someone new ? So none of you ever met someone new and left an ex over it? If so you are truly the exception not the rule. The majority of all relationships end I that scenario. Do you think the new suitors really cared about the other persons bf or gf at the time? Please. If you believe be this isn't the norm than I have some swamp land to sell you. I'm sure everyone here left someone for someone new they met and talked to them before they left their ex Just because the masses are doing it, doesn't mean it's right. Let's just all sext and cheat just because it's the norm. You are scraping the barrel with these justifications, trying to normalize bad behavior. Or you could have the integrity to stop yourself and do the right thing. And no, not everyone leaves their partner for someone else.
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 This is another one of your problems! You are this type of person and think everyone else is too! It's how you justified being with your Ex while she was married, it's why you don't have a problem "cheating" with her why she is with another guy. Truth is, not everyone is like you and people like you are not "healthy". You have jumped from girl to girl and relationship to relationship and never been alone. Now you got dumped by some chick and don't have a soft landing spot / rebound lined up and it's why you are freaking the hell out. Seriously man, you are really, really messed up. You need to get some Professional Help. You know nothing about me my friend. I did not date my ex while she was living at home. She was separated at the time. I have plenty of women that want me. As for now I am not chasing my ex, she contacted me. I am not freaking out at all. I miss my ex yes we had a great relationship at the time. I am not messed up at all I live in the real world. Unlike more than a few people here. I had a girl I loved she left. yes I was brokenhearted we both have reached out to each other over the course of the relationship. We still have feelings for each other. Maybe there is something to build on and maybe not. Exactly how is that any different than anyone else here. What makes you can single me out. because I want to have a relationship with my ex again there is something wrong with me? Well you have a lot of posters to spew your venom to then. There are hundreds on here that would like their ex's back. Many have talked and met even though their ex was was dating someone else. Its the reality not the exception. Do you not read posts where ex's got back together and the one ex had to tell the current BF GF they are going back? It happens. My situation is no different. For the record she BU with me. She is seriously dating someone new. She is the one not being honest with her BF. yet I am the one getting flamed LOLOLOL!!! You really crack me up!!!!! Sounds like someone hurt you bad. You need to address these innate issues with the person that did you wrong and deal with whatever issues have stemmed from your loss of touch with reality. You seem very upset by my posts. Maybe you need to take a rest from here and go live in the real world and get some help. The thing is its not your life. You rambled your rantings now you can go back into your hole. Oh just remember not to IMAGINE LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 When I am in total denial about a mentally and emotionally screwed up trainwreck that used me to separate from her husband and get a divorce, chased after her when she dumped me, sleeping, in a relationship and in love with someone else... I would know there was something really, really, really wrong with me and would get therapy. Then maybe you should. And quick. You seem to be having a melt down. And you know what the great thing is? Its my life not yours!!!! So If I want to screw it up or do whats right for me then that's what I will do. You worry about yourself.
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 Both of you are going in time out. LOLOLOL!!! Wow this person says I need therapy!!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!! Someone did them wrong big time. LOLOLOL!!!
Simon Phoenix Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 LOLOLOL!!! Wow this person says I need therapy!!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!! Someone did them wrong big time. LOLOLOL!!! Um, yeah dude.
cavalier99 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I wonder how much longer the recovery process is held back by false hope and lack of NC? Coping i think youll get over this eventually it just might take a VERY long time. Good luck bro. Cav
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 Just because the masses are doing it, doesn't mean it's right. Let's just all sext and cheat just because it's the norm. You are scraping the barrel with these justifications, trying to normalize bad behavior. Or you could have the integrity to stop yourself and do the right thing. And no, not everyone leaves their partner for someone else. Most do. Walk into any bar, or office building you'll people meeting someone new when they are dating someone else and leave them for the new person. The posts on this site deal with the majority of that issue. Short of job change, fighting or abuse most leave for someone new. That is reality. No one ever said it was right. Its reality. I have left women for someone new. And they have left me for someone new. That has been going on since the dawn of time. It would be a great world is all relationships ended first for legitimate reasons. And ended before a new one starts. But that is not the case. If you are the exception that my hats off to you. You are truly an enigma. Ask your friends if they ever got left for someone their ex met. Do you think they a saw someone new across the room and said " I better BU with them before I even meet this new person". Nope a spark happens by communicating first. I am not condoning it. Its just reality. If my ex came back I;m sure the guy she is with now would attempt to win her back from me. Do you really think people just walk away? Most try to get their ex's back and some do. Did they all respect the sanctity of the relationship? Go read some posts on BU and Coping on the forum home screen.
drpepper1886 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 beginning to think coping thinks he's logged in to his freddderick account.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I must be the exception too, because I've never done that. And I've only had one person do that to me, and when I discovered she did, I left her the hell alone and stayed out of her life permanently. But yes, you are spinning more than a set of gold rims on a low-rider. 2
thefooloftheyear Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Most do. Walk into any bar, or office building you'll people meeting someone new when they are dating someone else and leave them for the new person. The posts on this site deal with the majority of that issue. Short of job change, fighting or abuse most leave for someone new. That is reality. No one ever said it was right. Its reality. I have left women for someone new. And they have left me for someone new. That has been going on since the dawn of time. It would be a great world is all relationships ended first for legitimate reasons. And ended before a new one starts. But that is not the case. If you are the exception that my hats off to you. You are truly an enigma. Ask your friends if they ever got left for someone their ex met. Do you think they a saw someone new across the room and said " I better BU with them before I even meet this new person". Nope a spark happens by communicating first. I am not condoning it. Its just reality. If my ex came back I;m sure the guy she is with now would attempt to win her back from me. Do you really think people just walk away? Most try to get their ex's back and some do. Did they all respect the sanctity of the relationship? Go read some posts on BU and Coping on the forum home screen. Ill agree with you that most people would want a chance with their ex again. Especially if the BU wasnt harsh or abusive. However.... I dont think ANYONE would want a second chance if it was only had by coercion, nagging, browbeating and persisitence... If it happens this way then there will be little to no chance of it working out, so why bother? TFOY
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 I wonder how much longer the recovery process is held back by false hope and lack of NC? Coping i think youll get over this eventually it just might take a VERY long time. Good luck bro. Cav Thanks Cav. LOL I started to say in this thread........I was NC and she contacted me. I decided to hear her out. I told her I was trying to get over her and move on. She told me she really missed me and talking to me and our texting. We decided to keep up some communication. We got some stuff out and it was different this time. Before the conversations were different. This was much more lighter and relaxed. Less emotional. We expressed some deep things but mostly like two people feeling each other out. It felt new. Might be short lived. But I hear you, I am cautious and if it doesn't lead anywhere then i will start over. But i am not in the same place mentally where I was 4 weeks ago. I am over the major pain and hurt. Thinking clearer now. We do not talk live or talk about meeting up. I won't ask her to. So I guess we do have some boundaries LOL! Really I am not getting any hopes up and I am just going with the flow. 1
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 Ill agree with you that most people would want a chance with their ex again. Especially if the BU wasnt harsh or abusive. However.... I dont think ANYONE would want a second chance if it was only had by coercion, nagging, browbeating and persisitence... If it happens this way then there will be little to no chance of it working out, so why bother? TFOY Who did all of that? She contacted me. We talked about her job, kids etc. what she was making for dinner. She flirted a bit. Made a few references to old times. Where is the brow beating etc.?
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 I must be the exception too, because I've never done that. And I've only had one person do that to me, and when I discovered she did, I left her the hell alone and stayed out of her life permanently. But yes, you are spinning more than a set of gold rims on a low-rider. Ask around......you'll see. No spin here just reality.
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 And once again, you miss the point entirely. You've been broken up for four months, but you haven't been "gone" for four months. And like the other posters have said, four months is a drop in the bucket. Its all relative. I didn't know there was an official time line. All this "make her wait" nonsense and "don't give in". Its all immature game playing. I don't have time for games. That might be the case in highschool and college but when you grow up communication is the key. For a relationship you either communicate or you don't. When it stops and you want to move then you use NC to get past the relationship and heal. If you both want to communicate then going NC isn't going to change the situation. NC is not to get your ex back. only communication is. If one person doesn't want to try then yes you will be forced into NC to heal. But if you both want to talk. Then communicate. That doesn't mean it will work out and yes you might get hurt again. But its the only way a relationship can have a chance. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Ask around......you'll see. No spin here just reality. Not necessarily. I can't think of one of my friends who have done this and can think of only one who had this done to him.
ThatJustHappened Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Lets all be real here ok. The fact is most relations is BU because one person in the relationship meets someone new. Starts to talk to speak to someone new vu phone calls, flirting texting sexting. This whole site is full of people that were broken hearted because their ex met someone new. Are you trying to tell me all of those people left their ex before they started talking to someone new ? So none of you ever met someone new and left an ex over it? If so you are truly the exception not the rule. The majority of all relationships end I that scenario. Do you think the new suitors really cared about the other persons bf or gf at the time? Please. If you believe be this isn't the norm than I have some swamp land to sell you. I'm sure everyone here left someone for someone new they met and talked to them before they left their ex Uh..no. You are so very very wrong. You sound pretty young and naive..how old are you?
thefooloftheyear Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Ill agree with you that most people would want a chance with their ex again. Especially if the BU wasnt harsh or abusive. However.... I dont think ANYONE would want a second chance if it was only had by coercion, nagging, browbeating and persisitence... If it happens this way then there will be little to no chance of it working out, so why bother? TFOY OK, I admittedly made an assumption. But did so based on your constant obsessive behavior with this person based on your previous postings. Somehow I dont think we are getting the whole story.. Something tells me you did a lot of arm twisting, pleading, and begging...Just a hunch... TFOY
Simon Phoenix Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Its all relative. I didn't know there was an official time line. All this "make her wait" nonsense and "don't give in". Its all immature game playing. I don't have time for games. That might be the case in highschool and college but when you grow up communication is the key. For a relationship you either communicate or you don't. When it stops and you want to move then you use NC to get past the relationship and heal. If you both want to communicate then going NC isn't going to change the situation. NC is not to get your ex back. only communication is. If one person doesn't want to try then yes you will be forced into NC to heal. But if you both want to talk. Then communicate. That doesn't mean it will work out and yes you might get hurt again. But its the only way a relationship can have a chance. I didn't say make her wait. I said NC is essential for each person to step back and evaluate why things went wrong, what they need to work on to heal and evolve, what they want moving forward -- it has absolutely nothing to do with waiting out or punishing the other person. You have to take a step back and reset your emotions -- you never did this. You might have gone NC, but you didn't do anything remotely constructive while you were going NC. That's why you keep snapping back into this limbo, that's why you have no real plan or focus, that's why you aren't able to establish boundaries with your ex, that's why you keep spinning your inappropriate behavior in response to her inappropriate behavior, that's why you are a broken record. If for whatever reason you actually get back together with this woman, I guarantee you'll find yourself back in this situation. There's a difference between communicating just to stay around and communicating with a levelheaded purpose. You are communicating with no perspective, you are communicating out of fear/desperation/false hope/anxiety/etc. Take your pick, all either fit now or have in the past. You haven't stepped back at all. There isn't an official timeline. I never mentioned one. You were the one who mentioned the amount of time you were broken up, not me. 1
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