CorridorE Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) A guy I had lost touch with recently contacted me on facebook. We used to be friends and flirted years ago, but then he moved (about 30 minutes away) and the relationship fizzled out. Now three years later he messages me and right away starts being friendly and flirting. We talked for a little over two weeks and I've really started to like him again. We made plans to see each other, and he said things like "you're still so beautiful, we really should have kept in touch, can't wait to see you, I wish I could kiss you, we're connecting so well, etc." Now, as the date we were supposed to go out approached, he tells me he doesn't think we should meet anymore because he's "not good at relationships and is sorry that he let his emotions get the best of him." I am very confused... I would really like to see him again and just see where it goes when we are in person. I had forgotten how much I missed him from when we were close friends and want to give us a chance. It's been two days now since we have spoken. How long should I wait before contacting him again and what should I say? Edited March 25, 2013 by CorridorE
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 With all due respect, tell him that you are hoping to be his next ONS or his F-buddy. The guy reappears out of the blue after three years to flirt and call you beautiful, then proceeds to tell you he can't do relationships. No doubt you're a wonderful person, but please be realistic about the situation and don't fall for a little meaningless flattery. He wants to get into your panties because he has no other options at the moment. You can scratch his itch until something better comes along. Then he'll drop you faster than you can say "huh" and disappear back into oblivion as he did before. Do you deserve better than that?
Author CorridorE Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) With all due respect, tell him that you are hoping to be his next ONS or his F-buddy. The guy reappears out of the blue after three years to flirt and call you beautiful, then proceeds to tell you he can't do relationships. No doubt you're a wonderful person, but please be realistic about the situation and don't fall for a little meaningless flattery. He wants to get into your panties because he has no other options at the moment. You can scratch his itch until something better comes along. Then he'll drop you faster than you can say "huh" and disappear back into oblivion as he did before. Do you deserve better than that? Although we hadn't spoken for three years, we were very close before he moved and he is a very shy, sweet person. He was never one to chase girls; in fact, when we were friends I was his only friend that was a girl haha... We were friends for a year and a half and he never showed interest in anyone, minus the occasional (shy) flirting with me. Honestly, to me he seems scared to be in a relationship because I don't think he's ever gotten close to anyone before and has always kept to himself. I just want to further break the ice without him feeling like he's being pressured into a relationship. I'm still so suprised that we've gotten back in touch. At the very least, I hope we can be friends again. Edited March 25, 2013 by CorridorE
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 My assessment of his behavior probably seems blunt and harsh to you. I don't know him. I also haven't been charmed by his sweet shyness or his flattery about my beauty and its supposed effect on his emotions and judgment. All I will say is that it pays to listen to what guys tell you rather than coming up with rationalizations for why they do what they do, including why he's never had a relationship. He said he doesn't do relationships. Please take that at face value. Not everyone wants a relationship or sees its benefits. He's also set the tone for what he wants by reconnecting with chatter about your looks and his desire to kiss you before you even meet. Shy or not...sweet or not, he's crystal clear in his communication with you that he's not after platonic friendship nor is he after a relationship. Logically that leaves only two choices... In wanting to push to see where things go with him now that he's pulling back, those should be two scenarios that you consider positive outcomes of this exploration.
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