Relentlessfight Posted September 11, 2004 Posted September 11, 2004 Ok, First off I just want to let you know that i'm 17. I have been dating this girl for around 10 months or so. We completely understood each other. See I used to be suicidal and things like that, but i got some help and its in my past...well she was the same way. Before we started dating we were best friends with each other. When ever she had a problem she knew she could come to me with it. We also had a VERY good trust bond. I knew I liked her since about the first week I met her along time ago. But you know, i didn't want to loose the bestest friend i would ever have by taking it to another level. So after about....3 months or so. I noticed she would flirt with me constantly..and just show signs of attraction. I grew some balls and finally told her about all my feelings for her. She was flattered! She had been feeling the same way. Well...I kissed her for the first time and it was the most perfect kiss ever. Durring a thunderstorm (my and her favorite thing) our lips touched right as the lightning struck. It was unbelieveable. I'm terrified of relationships becasue usually mine fall apart after about 4 or 5 months. Dana was something special though. I took my time, and thought about if I really wanted a girl like this in my life. Our minds were thinking the exact same thing. She told me usually in a relationship, she freaks out and cuts it off. After we had been dating for about 3 months, she came to me and told me she was getting thoes frightening feelings and since i met so much to her, she didn't want to hurt me, or have me hurt her and she wanted to break up. I thought about this for a long, long time. I told her she had nothing to worry about, I knew everything would be ok. Turns out, I was right! Everything was perfect. She told me since she'd be depressed most of her life that she'd never really felt the feeling of happyness for more than a couple minutes. And that I gave her the feelings of being loved, being happy, and secure. I was in a serious relationship once before and I found out what loving someone felt like. This girl was different...I knew I was in love with her, but it wasn't the type of love that I got before...this was that I could never lose her, no matter what. I not only got the feeling of love again, but I began to understand what it all ment, and how powerful thoes 4 letters are. An example of this was...One time we got in an arguement about something really stupid. She was being really offensive to me, and i was being an a**h*** right back at her. I stormed out of the room and went and sat down by myself and I was extremly angry. She walked in the room and she was even more upset and angry than I was. I looked at her, and she looked back at me. I looked deep into her eyes...Immediatly we both began to cry and nothing was ever said. We made up with a look. That was an unbelieveable feeling to me. Well I know I could go on forever about this so I'll get to what I'm asking advise about. We broke up about 2 weeks ago. I didn't understand why, but she said something really unanswerable. I was shocked and thats probably why I don't remeber her exact words. She told me she would never bring herself to love someone back when I first started being friends with her. Its impossible to stop from loving someone, and I knew she was in love with me, as much as I was her. 3 days after our breakup, she starts hanging around with one of my friends. Hes a total man whore, and takes advantage of about every girl he meets. He came off as this "coping mechinism" for her. Making me sound like a horrible person. I was crushed, I mean look? I got stabbed right in the back. I've not been dealing with this well at all. She was the best person to ever come into my life. I know her and my friend haven't like had sex or done anything sexual at all. I'm sure they've kissed. She told me I was the only person in her life that she could trust and that nobody had ever made her feel more secure in a relationship before. Now, evertime we talk..it kills me. I'm really really hurt by this. We argue all the time, she knows about how I feel about it. Yet she tells me she still has all the same feelings. I know shes going to get screwed over by this guy and wind up crushed, and i told her that. I'm sure theres not many guys who would get as close to her as I got. I know theres not. I went places in her mind that she didn't even know existed. My problem is, I need this girl back with me. I know, I've heard it before "theres other fish in the sea". Well not this fish. My friends keep telling me to give up because I'm only going to hurt myself even more. Thoes were the same friends who told me how horrible of a girl she was when i first met her. I sure as hell proved them wrong. Everything reminds me of her...and when i talk to her i cant even look her in the eyes without getting teary. The last girl I had...it was hard getting over her, but in the end i'm glad i did. But...theres just something about Dana that I can't let go of...theres just something about her that keeps telling me to stay in this and not give up. I'm so much in love with this girl. She knows this too. I've told her about this guy, and i've explaned to her she'll end up getting hurt. Even her friends tell her this. I talked to my friend who shes hanging out with...I'm so pissed off at him, and he defiantly knows how I feel. He said "Dude, why dont you just punch me, or bitch me out or do something! I mean, i would be pissed off if my friend did something like this to me" and i replied "I dont have to worry about that, because i know someone who was my friend wouldn't do that to me" You dont understand how much she means to me, and how i feel about her. I need any advise about this i can get. I can't let her go. and I wont. Please Help!
kellyp1 Posted September 11, 2004 Posted September 11, 2004 "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they will be yours forever. If they don't come back, they were never yours to begin with." Know although you are a lot alike and connect, you will never totally know what was going on in her heart. Let her make her mistakes and be there for her in the end, if you feel she is the "one". If you keep telling her she is making a dumb decision, you will just drive her to him more. Try to play it cool and if it was meant to be, it will be. In the meantime, maybe go on a casual date or two yourself. Maybe that will spark her jealous side and her want to be with you. But be prepared that she may not come back to you and know you are worth someone who can give all her heart. Good luck!
cateinaus Posted September 11, 2004 Posted September 11, 2004 Your reply to your friend was good, keep it that way, hold your head up and walk away from him. As for your g/f (x), I feel she has self esteem issues and maybe, just maybe she feels (subconsciously) that "your friend" is all she deserves. Back off, don't pay it too much attention. If you withdraw you may very well find that she will be drawn more to you. Keep yourself occupied.
Recommended Posts