Aunt Fairy Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) Il try keep this short.. Ive been dating a guy for a few months, hes great and everything is going really well..except for his interfearing ex! He broke up with her 3months before we met, they had been together for 2years and were living together. When i asked what happened he told me she was controling and tryed to stop him seeing his family and friends, he lost alot of friends over this woman as she only wanted him to spend time with her. He said he hadnt been happy for the last year of their relationship but every time he would try end it she'd guilt trip him and hed give into her. He said it was a difficult break up because she found it really hard to accept, ahe would ring and text him constantly and when he wouldnt answer her she would call to his work to see him. At the start I felt abit sorry for her, we've all been there and know what its like to be dumped and heart broken. I presumed she would get the picture eventually and would get bored and give up.. Hes told me many times that he has NO feelings whatsoever for this woman and that hes never been as happy as he is now with me and how he would do anything to make me happy and I honestly believe that. Last week we were out for dinner and a movie and she called him at least 15 times during the night, I tryed to ignore it and not let it get to me but the truth is it ruined our otherwise great night together. When we got home he could tell i was a little off and asked why..I told him how I felt and that he had to do something to make her stop this and he assured me he would talk to her parents and put an end to it. So I left it at that and said no more about it until yesterday, he said hed spoken to her Dad and he said he would talk to her, the next day she turned up at his workplace and he told her that he had no feelings left for her and that he had met someone else and was moving on, she got upset and made abit of a scene before leaving. He then heard through a friend afew days later that she had tryed to overdose but she was ok, she text him the following day saying how sorry she was but it was only a matter of time before she done it again... This woman obviously has issues but Im finding it very hard to have any sympathy for her anymore, infact Im sick of her and just want her to accept were together and leave us alone!! Im falling for this guy big time and Im pretty sure he already has but shes stopping our relationship from progressing. Ive met his family and get on great with them, his sister even thanked me for getting her brother back and said shes never seen him so happy. Ive even been invited to a family function next weekend but I cant help feeling shes always going to be in the background causing trouble... What can I do about this??? I dont want to come across as a heartless cow but quite frankly I dont think I can take much more of her.... Edited March 25, 2013 by Aunt Fairy I wasnt finished yet
Author Aunt Fairy Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 Appolagies for the length of that but I hope someone will read it and give me advise on what I can do
veggirl Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Why hasn't he blocked her phone number, at the very least? 2
Author Aunt Fairy Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 He didnt know he could I said it to him and he said he will do that but it wont stop her dropping into his work. I should also mention hes 26 and shes 28 its not like shes a teenager, Im just so pee'd off with this woman
Eggplant Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 but it wont stop her dropping into his work It's harrassment, and he could get a restraining order.
Author Aunt Fairy Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 I know Im just not sure he sees it that way, hes too nice for his own good. Next time Im with him and she calls Im tempted to take the phone off him and speak to her myself. I dont want to be the bad guy here but I cant help feeling like theres 3 people in this relationship
Author Aunt Fairy Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 Animallover I honestly dont know what exactly he has or hasnt said to her, I can only go by what he tells me. Ive offered to back off and give him space to make sure this is what he wants and he assured me thats the last thing he wanted, he said he wants to be with me that I make him happy and he hasnt felt that way in a very long time. I dont think he has any reason or need to lie to me but who knows...
MidwestUSA Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 For starters, it's outright rude to keep your phone on while on a date. Whether he answers it or lets it go to voicemail. He needs to grow a set, and she needs an intervention. Just not from you - stay out of it. 1
Treasa Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I know Im just not sure he sees it that way, hes too nice for his own good. Next time Im with him and she calls Im tempted to take the phone off him and speak to her myself. I dont want to be the bad guy here but I cant help feeling like theres 3 people in this relationship Don't be with a guy who is too spineless to tell his ex to stop contacting him, and who isn't willing to enforce it. You shouldn't get involved. She won't care, hearing it from you, and it won't stop her. He needs to figure out what's more important to him. 2
veggirl Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 So he is too nice to hurt her feelings by telling her to back the eff off, but not actually nice enough to care about YOUR feelings and do something to ease your uncomfortableness. He needs to block her # today and if she shows up at his work (?!?!) he needs to tell her he is calling the police if she does not leave. I'd also ask to see any correspondence between them because I'm leaning more towards your bf really is doing something to somewhat encourage this behavior.
KraftDinner Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Did he ANSWER her calls 15 times during your date?
Author Aunt Fairy Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 No he didnt answer he had his phone on silent but I seen him check it and asked if it was her. When we were talkin about it later that night I told him she may aswell of been sitting at the table having dinner with us because thats how it felt to me! Animalover Im leaning more towards you on this one, I think Im better off to leave it up to him to deal with, last night we had our first argument and it was about her, I told him much and all as I hated to have to say this but he needs to choose between his past and his future and decide which one is more important to him.. He has tryed calling me several times today but to be honest Im still too angry to talk to him, Im afraid Il say something I regret.
Author Aunt Fairy Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 I should also probably add KraftDinner that he never answers or replys to her calls and texts he ignores her and after afew days of been ignored she then stops by his workplace he owns his own shop and she knows hes always there.
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