seriously-let-down Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 What I want to know is dreaming about an ex a type of coping mechanism? Saturday morning I woke after having a disturbing dream about my STBXW, Mainly the dream was my ex giving me the cold shoulder, avoiding me, and generally being nasty. More than likely it means I was let down by that one person who I never thought would hurt me. But then it got me thinking. I had a deja vu moment, Somewhere from the back of my brain I recalled another dream, This dream probably was dreamt 3 years ago, but it was vivid. In this dream I dreamt my STBXW left me for a work colleague. Which she did. Then I remembered another dream regarding an ex girlfriend I was with for 5 years, at that time I dreamt she'd marry a guy with short blonde hair and was tall. Which she did. So if I have any of these dreams again. I'm going to bin off my partner because they seem to come true. Has anybody else had dreams like this?
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Prophet? Who knows there? I am sure you are rather stressed over your STBXW, and your mind is always on her. When we sleep, our brain tries to sort out our daily tasks, stresses, etc. Since you are [probably] stressed over her: you dream about her. They say as well, dreams are the subconscious trying to tell us something, otherwise we'd not notice(such as sorting out how awful your stbxw may really be). I had a long, highly vivid dream once about my than-gf. It is long, so I will not type it out atm. Basic of it: I was searching for her, but couldn't find her. I had one dream of me and a friend(driving me up to see her?). He was driving a red truck. Interestingly, the moon was red, no stars, and there was a fog. I remember we both noticed red-blood like scribble appear on the windshield of the truck. It was a warning to avoid going to see her. Needless to say, my friend wanted to turn around, I did not; so I got out of the truck, and walked there, he left the other way. When I got there, I knocked on her door, and some guy answered. She walks up to the door, doesn't say anything, just kisses the guy. Ofc, she cheated on me. 1
RiceaRoni Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Prophet? Who knows there? I am sure you are rather stressed over your STBXW, and your mind is always on her. When we sleep, our brain tries to sort out our daily tasks, stresses, etc. Since you are [probably] stressed over her: you dream about her. They say as well, dreams are the subconscious trying to tell us something, otherwise we'd not notice(such as sorting out how awful your stbxw may really be). I had a long, highly vivid dream once about my than-gf. It is long, so I will not type it out atm. Basic of it: I was searching for her, but couldn't find her. I had one dream of me and a friend(driving me up to see her?). He was driving a red truck. Interestingly, the moon was red, no stars, and there was a fog. I remember we both noticed red-blood like scribble appear on the windshield of the truck. It was a warning to avoid going to see her. Needless to say, my friend wanted to turn around, I did not; so I got out of the truck, and walked there, he left the other way. When I got there, I knocked on her door, and some guy answered. She walks up to the door, doesn't say anything, just kisses the guy. Ofc, she cheated on me. That's so interesting :0 To the OP, I have had many strange dreams about my ex as well, and I do believe that it really is the subconscious trying to tell you something or trying to teach you a lesson by showing you through your dreams. For some reason when I dreamt of my ex I would always feel butterflies physically or I would know better not to get close to him again. I would have dreams where my ex would come to me and we talked, figured out our issues, and he would sometimes try kissing or hugging me, and even try calling me; but for some reason I would tell him "no" or "I'm not ready" or "I need to think about this" and try backing away...almost like I knew that I wouldn't be able to trust him again. I haven't had any recent dreams so far, but my dreams have helped me in a way to move on. So possibly your subconscious is trying to do the same. 1
AwptiK Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Dreams can tell you a lot, but at the same time they can also just be dreams. If you think all day about something, it's likely to be dreamt about. However, I do feel that there can be a lot to be taken from dreams. My most recent crazy dream was on a thursday. Took a nap, had a dream my then-gf broke up with me. I can't remember much else about it. Then, and I'm being dead serious, that Friday my ex told me she had a dream about us breaking up. Hers was more specific - my best friend's girl cheated with me. We broke up the following Tuesday, for totally unrelated reasons (not enough time for the relationship at this stage in life), but that was pretty freaking weird. Not to mention, said girl was engaged to my best friend and their relationship is now rocky as hell because she's losing interest. And now? I dream about her every night. I almost don't remember much, half the time we're actually dating in my dreams. I just think that means there's unfinished business.....could be that we'll get back together, could just mean it hasn't been accepted. Dreams are fiendishly tricky. 1
Author seriously-let-down Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 Its the premonition dreams that freak me, STBXW going off with a work colleague, and a previous ex marrying a guy that looks like her husband. This was before any of this would happen.
lovelyde Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Dreams are real. Is there any girl that you have shown interest to in your dreams? Is there any girl who has shown interest in you in your dreams? Most likely she is your soulmate but is too shy to approach you because she has a secret crush on you. Please go find her and get in contact with her. Even if she's someone you think is out of your league, even if she's married, she may be in a loveless/passionless marriage. Either way, contact her right away and let her know how much you love and appreciate her existence in your life. For she changed your life and you changed hers by opening each others' eyes. If she wasn't there to cross paths with in your life, your life would be different. Please get in contact with her and let her know your affection for her. -
coralie Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 I am so confused about my subconscious. I just woke up from a dream of being with a really hot complete stranger, someone I haven't ever seen before in my life. In the dream we were just getting to know each other and were cuddling and talking. I had definite butterflies and the feeling of closeness and starting to fall for someone. I felt happy even! It still hasn't worn off yet since I just woke up 20 min ago. This is the third time I've had a dream like this recently and I find it puzzling. It was a different stranger each time too, never the same person. I can't understand how and why a dream could make me feel what I can't even imagine feeling during my waking hours. Once the dream wears off, I'm always back to feeling disgusted by the thought of even going out to meet a new guy and have no desire whatsoever to start dating. My mind goes back to being filled with my ex and of pain and loss and suffering. I wish I could bottle up that feeling I get in these dreams! When I woke up from this dream just now, I even started to think that I wanted to date again. Of course now the feeling's already starting to slip away. I am so confused about how or why my mind is even capable of having this type of dream. Whatever the reason though, I hope my subconscious gives me more of them from now on. Maybe it's my subconscious telling me I can find someone better and is helping me in its own way to move on. Has anyone else had dreams like this before?
misswillow Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 I am so confused about my subconscious. I just woke up from a dream of being with a really hot complete stranger, someone I haven't ever seen before in my life. In the dream we were just getting to know each other and were cuddling and talking. I had definite butterflies and the feeling of closeness and starting to fall for someone. I felt happy even! It still hasn't worn off yet since I just woke up 20 min ago. This is the third time I've had a dream like this recently and I find it puzzling. It was a different stranger each time too, never the same person. I can't understand how and why a dream could make me feel what I can't even imagine feeling during my waking hours. Once the dream wears off, I'm always back to feeling disgusted by the thought of even going out to meet a new guy and have no desire whatsoever to start dating. My mind goes back to being filled with my ex and of pain and loss and suffering. I wish I could bottle up that feeling I get in these dreams! When I woke up from this dream just now, I even started to think that I wanted to date again. Of course now the feeling's already starting to slip away. I am so confused about how or why my mind is even capable of having this type of dream. Whatever the reason though, I hope my subconscious gives me more of them from now on. Maybe it's my subconscious telling me I can find someone better and is helping me in its own way to move on. Has anyone else had dreams like this before? I wish I would have dreams like this! Instead, I keep dreaming of my ex, although they seem to be less frequent. Maybe this is the beginning of your getting used to the idea of being with someone else. Your subconscious is seeing it as something good, and maybe slowly your conscious mind will start to feel that way too. It sounds like it may be a good first step in moving on and getting used to the idea of being with another man.
cavalier99 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 I am really getting over this BU. 6 months NC after 8 yr RS and feel better than ever. but last 3 nights out of the blue extremley vivid disturbing dream of meeting up with her post BU and feeling all the emotions of the BU again ecetera. havent felt like that in months. This is all hitting while im doimg great otherwise and decided id never take her back even if she came back begging. weird. cav
coralie Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 I wish I would have dreams like this! Instead, I keep dreaming of my ex, although they seem to be less frequent. Maybe this is the beginning of your getting used to the idea of being with someone else. Your subconscious is seeing it as something good, and maybe slowly your conscious mind will start to feel that way too. It sounds like it may be a good first step in moving on and getting used to the idea of being with another man. I'm sending the dream fairy your way for happy and uplifting dreams. Yeah, even though it was only a dream, it really shocked me (in a good way) that I could even feel anything like that ever again, towards a complete stranger no less! I am really getting over this BU. 6 months NC after 8 yr RS and feel better than ever. but last 3 nights out of the blue extremley vivid disturbing dream of meeting up with her post BU and feeling all the emotions of the BU again ecetera. havent felt like that in months. This is all hitting while im doimg great otherwise and decided id never take her back even if she came back begging. weird. cav Yes, very weird. I'm literally suffering in the depths of h*ll and feeling more miserable than ever, and haven't even managed an entire week straight of either complete NC or getting some sort of contact from him yet, and here my subconscious is throwing happy, possible new love from a stranger type of dreams at me. Then here you are in a much better place than me and getting over your ex, yet your subconscious throws a disturbing dream and pushing up the BU emotions again. Our subconscious minds are so strange and confusing...
RiceaRoni Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Last night I had the most terrible dream... My subconscious decided to show my fears to me and I had a dream where I went somewhere with a couple of friends and my ex and his friends were at the same place. We all sat down somewhere to eat I think and my ex's friends left him traveling up a staircase...I looked at him asking myself why he wasnt going with them? I forgot what happened, but then the scenes change and my worst fear comes into my sights which is me catching my ex kissing his new gf...it hurt me so bad...and the last thing I remember was my ex looking over at me from his gf..looking kind of sad yet serious too... It totally pulled me back a little from my healing, but it's just a dream after all.
lop98 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Every single night is one or too many steps back for me... I may manage to get rid of the painful memories during the day but the moment I fall asleep he's in all of my dreams, and the entire night, bad or good. I want this obsession or nightmare to be over, that's absolutely all I want.
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