Echo000 Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 Im going thru a lot in my life, so maybe its a mix of things..but instead of feeling really good I find myself really missing her/feeling really depressed about not having my ex in my life anymore . Its been 61 days today of no contact whatsoever, and I am really missing her and not feeling good at all. In summary, I find myself feeling worse about it lately as opposed to feeling better. How many days have you guys gone NC, and for those who have reached 60 days/gotten close/passed 60 days, how do you guys feel? Link to post Share on other sites
iouaname Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 I have just reached Day 40, and I feel okay although I had a really rough weekend. Everyone is different, but I read this survey thing that said that on average, most people felt the biggest difference after the 60 day mark? I'm not sure though. Link to post Share on other sites
thingshavechanged Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 Im going thru a lot in my life, so maybe its a mix of things..but instead of feeling really good I find myself really missing her/feeling really depressed about not having my ex in my life anymore . Its been 61 days today of no contact whatsoever, and I am really missing her and not feeling good at all. In summary, I find myself feeling worse about it lately as opposed to feeling better. How many days have you guys gone NC, and for those who have reached 60 days/gotten close/passed 60 days, how do you guys feel? man, I'm only on day 17...I was doing really good at the beginning but all of a sudden I find myself thinking of the possibility of getting back together with her and I don't know why. Hopefully at the 60 day mark...scratch that...at the 30 day mark, I'll have been able to move on. My relationship was probably shorter than yours, but the feelings I had for her were probably the same as how you felt for your girl. You should join a gym and work out, go out and drink with your homies, pick up a hobbie....just do anything that will take your mind off her.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Echo000 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Share Posted March 25, 2013 well its 62 days for me now and its gotten rough as of late..been thru a lot lately tho. grandma died. had to withdraw from college..etc. so its been a lot of things. and i have OCD so i think it takes people like me longer to move on than others. But I am a personal trainer- i workout every day. I have been reading books, looking to try new things, etc. But lemme tell you, its really hard. and if you loved ur ex as much as i loved mine, 30 days wont be anything close to enough time for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
baRx Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 i actually just reached 60 days yesterday. im surprised, because she usually tries to send me some stupid text once every couple of weeks.. this is the longest it's been since i've heard from her. good riddance, though. i'm hoping she finally realized that there's no reason for us to continue to talk to each other. for the last 3 years it's been an uphill battle trying to get her to stay away, and now it appears as if it's finally starting to work. but, i've been down this kind of road with her before. i'll hear from her again, and it'll be useless again. Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 71 days here. Used to being alone which is not a good feeling. Desperate to contact him. miss him so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Echo000 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Share Posted March 26, 2013 isnt the point to get used to being alone though? Link to post Share on other sites
Alsuna Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 Around day 80. Stopped counting the days a long time ago. I can say, that now I feeling worse, than when I was in that crap relationship with him. But I'm feeling better a bit every day, so I know, one day I will feel great and confident again. I'm over all the reconciliation thoughts. If he ever wants to come back, I will show him the door immediately. Fighting with loneliness, weekends and holidays are the toughest. But I will get there. Working on building up my self-confidence again. Hang in there people! It will get better! Link to post Share on other sites
Thunderchild Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 Day 30-something (can't be bothered to calculate it) - don't want the narcissistic b*tch back, am nearly 2 stone lighter since break up, getting fitter/losing weight, having to buy new clothes, building a new social life, got the roving eye again and working away like a lunatic at my newest literary project. Much better place than Day 1! More power to your elbow!!! Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 6 Months NC 8 yr RS Feeling great!! Rock On! Cav 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Waz Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 About 5 months of no contact. Or 3 months if you think that i "broke" it to wish her a typical happy birthday. Sure i feel better than before, i think of her sometimes in a day but not for very long and not too emotionally. I'm trying to feel happy and it works. It's a mix of things as you said. I think that if the current situation of your life isn't better for now, then you probably will have harder time to move on faster. But hey in the end you will do it Link to post Share on other sites
Lost Fish Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 It's been a measly 21 days for me. But I've been actively moving forward without her in my life. This past Saturday I went on a first date with a new woman I have known for years. It was a bit awkward, but the conversation was nice, and there is definite attraction. I just hate that I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. But the thing is, you only move forward in life if you choose to. You have to actively stop dwelling on the past and make the decision to move forward. The way to do that is to truly let yourself feel all the negative emotions of loss, rejection, and abandonment and then slap yourself in the face and realize that you are still alive and life is most definitely worth living. The greatest gift you can give yourself it to realize that you are a worthwhile person who deserves happiness. Then start doing things that are good for yourself. For me, I totally committed to myself. I now workout 3 - 4 times a week, I am taking music improv classes, I moved to a new apartment and have set it up nicely, and I'm spending more time with my friends and family. In the past I'd get depressed and do jack squat and spend all day missing my ex and hating myself. But I think I've matured enough to know that life is too short to waste. And I'm definitely not ignoring your pain and your loss, and I know how hard it can be when you lose someone you love... but still. This is your life man. Get busy livin. Now I need to figure out what to do for a second date with this new girl... ahh! Link to post Share on other sites
boblet Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 3 months LC on 2 occasions, 3 months full NC... 7 months post BU Today is a good day, found myself thinking of some of the mediocre things I was putting up with in that RS, my eyes are slowly opening up to other possibilities and I'm proud for the way I handled myself, I was so psychotic with my ex ex lmao arguing all the time etc. and with my ex, I took the difficult but dignified NC road. Tough but I know one day I will have exhausted all my energy for thinking of him. So thankful for the progress I've made and the lessons I learnt. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have learnt so much about myself and I wouldn't know how to be a better person AND better gf to someone else one day! Link to post Share on other sites
Bluerain Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 18 years together Almost 11 months strict NC Better, but still have bad days...glad I went NC...and will just keep moving on...no other choice..just got to deal with it. Good luck everyone, just hang in there....it does get better! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Echo000 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Share Posted March 26, 2013 today marks 9 weeks exactly--i cant believe how time does go by (regardless of how you feel). I will say that I definitely feel much stronger, much older too. I feel much more mature after struggling for such a long time. BUT the tough part for me is quieting those questions/moments of anxiety when wondering of her and whether I will speak to her in the future. I KNOW- i have no expectations of anything and im not even saying i would want any communication/interaction with her at all. But the classic questions (like- does she think of me/miss me?) plague me still. I keep super busy and am very fit as well (work out every day of the week and work as a student and personal trainer). But does anyone have any suggestions or can simply relate to this? Thanks for all the responses guys- sometimes it feels so lonely but its really something to see others reach out with similar stories of pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts