fortyninethousand322 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 So the girl from my other thread replied to my message...after 3 days. I wrote her off because I figured nobody would take three days to respond to a message if they were interested. So, what do I do? Do I wait to respond back? Do I answer right now? Or, write her off? Do people generally take that long to respond if they're interested in meeting up? 1
iKING Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Depends on how busy they are. Some also still go by the 3 day rule as to not come off as desperate. Just reply back after a bit. 1
gaius Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I'd wait a day and write her back. If it's like that every time forget about it though.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 I'd wait a day and write her back. If it's like that every time forget about it though. I just went through and checked. First message she wrote back in 30 minutes, second a day and a half, and now 3 days. I suppose next it'll be a week. 3
JohnP82 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Is she a doctor and was on call for the last 3 days? If not she's very uninterested. Sorry OP but no one is that busy.
Eggplant Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Did she apologize for taking a long time to get back to you? If I didn't see my phone for 3 days I'd apologize, or not respond. This behavior is a bad sign, even if she does like you.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 These are fairly straightforward messages. She messaged me back and sounds like she wants me to ask her to do something/meet up. I did. So we'll see what the response will be...
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 I have no idea what this girl is about. She writes me yesterday asking about some event that's going on and if I'm going to it. I write back and say yes I am, she replies within 10 minutes to say it would be cool to go. So I ask her if she'd like to go with me and now...nothing.
Treasa Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Maybe she spent the weekend playing the Defiance beta like I did?
soccerrprp Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 The 3-day "rule" is absurd and childish, rude. No considerate person waits 3-days to respond when it take 5-seconds to do so. I still cannot imagine anyone THAT busy that they cannot respond within a reasonable amount of time. And 3-days is not reasonable to me. I reeks with playing games. 3
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 The 3-day "rule" is absurd and childish, rude. No considerate person waits 3-days to respond when it take 5-seconds to do so. I still cannot imagine anyone THAT busy that they cannot respond within a reasonable amount of time. And 3-days is not reasonable to me. I reeks with playing games. She said in one of her messages that she had a lot of work. But, she said it in reference to not being able to go out a lot, not in reference to not being able to type on a keyboard to respond to messages. I don't know. I agree with you. 3 days seems like a long time.
MidwestUSA Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 She said in one of her messages that she had a lot of work. But, she said it in reference to not being able to go out a lot, not in reference to not being able to type on a keyboard to respond to messages. I don't know. I agree with you. 3 days seems like a long time. It is long, especially if she expressed interest. Is this the 28 year old? Lawyer, was it?
clia Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Three days is not a long time. She hasn't even met you yet!
soccerrprp Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I've dated lawyers, doctors and none of them took 3-days to respond. All within the same day. That's if they were interested in you, right? No matter the profession, or "how busy", 3-days is absurd. Everyone has a few seconds in their day to respond.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 It is long, especially if she expressed interest. Is this the 28 year old? Lawyer, was it? Lawyer at a non-profit, yup.
kassy Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 You have just been talking on line. It doesn't sound great, but why not stop over thinking it. Just meet her and see if you like her. If you meet and hit it off then take it from there.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 You have just been talking on line. It doesn't sound great, but why not stop over thinking it. Just meet her and see if you like her. If you meet and hit it off then take it from there. Yeah. I guess I'm just confused. Does she want to meet up or not? I don't want to keep inviting her places or responding to her messages if it's just a waste of time. I don't like being strung along. The last and thus far only girl from OLD who agreed to meet me took no longer than a day to respond. Of course she ended up being somewhat of a strange one, but still.
kassy Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I'm confused, you asked her out, she said yes just 3 days later? Or did I miss something? Have you asked her out before and she has strung you along? You might meet her and she might be a bit odd or not your type or she might be great. It happens. But that is why you meet people to work out if you like them. So worst case scenario you agree to meet and she cancels or is crazy... Then you just move on... I have had some dates with people from OLD who were in no way my type in real life, and the feeling was mutual, but we had a really great time hanging out. Sometimes I have had awe up dates... But many of those are now just funny stories. Don't over think it. Go with the intention of meeting someone and having a good night. If you guys are compatible then bonus and you can spend lots more time over thinking things then ;-)
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 I'm confused, you asked her out, she said yes just 3 days later? Or did I miss something? I saw her profile, I messaged her. 30 minutes later she messaged back (I know this only because I saw the timestamp and I got an email notification). And I replied to that message probably 2 hours later or something like that. So that was about 5 pm, and 9:30 pm the next day she replied to that message. So far so good. A day and half is not a long time, IMO. And I replied the next morning to that message. 3 days go by and I hear nothing. Then yesterday she messages me again. I reply back (this time about 15-20 minutes later) and she replies within 10 minutes hinting that we should do something together (listed something very specific that I mentioned in a prior message). I wrote back about 45 minutes later and haven't heard back since.
soccerrprp Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I saw her profile, I messaged her. 30 minutes later she messaged back (I know this only because I saw the timestamp and I got an email notification). And I replied to that message probably 2 hours later or something like that. So that was about 5 pm, and 9:30 pm the next day she replied to that message. So far so good. A day and half is not a long time, IMO. And I replied the next morning to that message. 3 days go by and I hear nothing. Then yesterday she messages me again. I reply back (this time about 15-20 minutes later) and she replies within 10 minutes hinting that we should do something together (listed something very specific that I mentioned in a prior message). I wrote back about 45 minutes later and haven't heard back since. People who are keeping their options open and close behave this way. OLD, people are notorious for this. She may want to keep you VERY INTERESTED so as to keep you as a viable option for her. She likely has others that she is "negotiating" with right now. She may be extending the periods between responses b/c she's waiting for responses from others. Ugh. That's OLD dating for you. 1
clia Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 People who are keeping their options open and close behave this way. OLD, people are notorious for this. She may want to keep you VERY INTERESTED so as to keep you as a viable option for her. She likely has others that she is "negotiating" with right now. She may be extending the periods between responses b/c she's waiting for responses from others. Ugh. That's OLD dating for you. Apparently her nefarious plan worked, given the over analyzation of the timing of her responses. I can almost hear her evil "MUAAAAA" laughter from here. 3
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 Apparently her nefarious plan worked, given the over analyzation of the timing of her responses. I can almost hear her evil "MUAAAAA" laughter from here. Honestly, I didn't look at the timing until the three day gap. I've been told on here before that if days (multiple) elapse, then it's not good. So, that's what prompted me to look at the timing of the rest. And I over-analyze because I have to. I'm not one of those people who can just wing it when it comes to dating. Term papers, yes. Dating, never.
kassy Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 If you asked her in your last message to go with you to whatever it was she suggested and she hasn't replied then just move on. If she replied but didn't agree to the date then ask her out one more time and if she doesn't say yes then move on.
FitChick Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 You could force her hand and say, "Do you want me to pick you up? If so, what time and I'll need your address. Otherwise, what time do you want to meet me there?" Then wait. If there is no word, it would be interesting to see if she still goes to this event.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 You could force her hand and say, "Do you want me to pick you up? If so, what time and I'll need your address. Otherwise, what time do you want to meet me there?" Then wait. If there is no word, it would be interesting to see if she still goes to this event. I probably wouldn't be able to see her. There will be a lot of people there I imagine.
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