I may have to settle for a short man if I want a relationship

[MissJoness]

Pretty much means if you want it all you have to make a sacrifice somewhere.

 

Either you stop holding out for a tall guy who has all the other qualities you want (similar to a guy who wants a hot slutty wild girl who seemingly has a brain and charm so he can take her home to mom).

 

Or you go long distance and deal with that. You expand your search and thus go the longer distance to find a tall guy you want.

 

Or you choose to learn to love yourself alone and single until the ideal man in your neck of the woods comes.

 

 

Believe me, I used to hold out for some hot brunette with a nice chest, sexy body, pretty face, who looks hot in a short dress with heels, is outgoing (but not some wild party girl), has a brain, career, etc.

 

Never came. Then I met a women with a smaller chest, nice body, decent face, shorter blonde hair, brain, heart of gold...and...she cared about me.

 

I kick myself for being narrow-minded in the past. Now I can't fathom those other women I used to get hot for.

 

Love is more than height or bust size. Eventually we'll all be old and gray, and thus the "hot" factor won't matter.

 

I think I'll expand my distance and go further to look for my ideal man. are you suggesting I do online dating?

[Green Light]

I think I'll expand my distance and go further to look for my ideal man. are you suggesting I do online dating?

 

Yeah. That's where all the tall guys hang out.

[mesmerized]

Pretty much means if you want it all you have to make a sacrifice somewhere.

 

Either you stop holding out for a tall guy who has all the other qualities you want (similar to a guy who wants a hot slutty wild girl who seemingly has a brain and charm so he can take her home to mom).

 

Or you go long distance and deal with that. You expand your search and thus go the longer distance to find a tall guy you want.

 

Or you choose to learn to love yourself alone and single until the ideal man in your neck of the woods comes.

 

 

Believe me, I used to hold out for some hot brunette with a nice chest, sexy body, pretty face, who looks hot in a short dress with heels, is outgoing (but not some wild party girl), has a brain, career, etc.

 

Never came. Then I met a women with a smaller chest, nice body, decent face, shorter blonde hair, brain, heart of gold...and...she cared about me.

 

I kick myself for being narrow-minded in the past. Now I can't fathom those other women I used to get hot for.

 

Love is more than height or bust size. Eventually we'll all be old and gray, and thus the "hot" factor won't matter.

 

You're an underrated poster on here, so sweet.

[Green Light]

You're an underrated poster on here, so sweet.

 

 

What about me?!?! I'm sweet AND salty. A new flavor with every lick!

[MissJoness]

I am a darkskinned black woman with no mixed features. Will I even have success with online dating?

[grkBoy]

I think I'll expand my distance and go further to look for my ideal man.

 

I remember at one point I was ready to do long distance. I live in Chicago, and some felt I was insane to suddenly look at women in other states and even in Canada. They would ask me why I'm yacking with far away women when I live in a major metropolis.

 

My answer was in how much I'd try dating women in my neck of the woods, but they would all be too overly-picky and/or carrying loads of baggage. Granted this was when I was more narrow-minded and looking for what some called an "it girl".

 

Regardless, I was meeting some interesting women online and found myself daring to try long distance.

 

 

are you suggesting I do online dating?

 

If you think that will work for you, try it. Those women I met in the past I mentioned...I met them on message boards like this one. I used to chat on another dating board, and I dunno. Women there ended up liking me because I came off as "normal", rather than wildly insecure and/or misogynist.

 

I'm not saying you suddenly do that, but I would simply try to make long distant friends in some way that's comfortable to you, and eventually you two meet up. See if there is any chemistry in person. I did meet some of these women in person, but we ended up not feeling enough chemistry to try.

 

That or travel if you have the resources. Go places you want as a single woman, and you might meet guys. Maybe one will be a tall keeper and you two click, stay in contact, keep in touch, and eventually one moves to the other.

 

 

You're an underrated poster on here, so sweet.

 

Aw thanks.

 

 

I am a darkskinned black woman with no mixed features. Will I even have success with online dating?

 

Depends on what kinds of men you want (other than tall). I have a black female friend in NYC who liked Caucasian guys, and ended up meeting a man from Germany whom she is still with now.

 

If you're into Black men, then just be patient, but be picky. Try to go places where the sophisticated guys go, as opposed to the "overgrown children" who simply want to stay single and party. This really goes for most men.

 

Maybe run marathons and such. Meet athletic guys who hopefully aren't narcissistic.

[MissJoness]

I remember at one point I was ready to do long distance. I live in Chicago, and some felt I was insane to suddenly look at women in other states and even in Canada. They would ask me why I'm yacking with far away women when I live in a major metropolis.

 

My answer was in how much I'd try dating women in my neck of the woods, but they would all be too overly-picky and/or carrying loads of baggage. Granted this was when I was more narrow-minded and looking for what some called an "it girl".

 

Regardless, I was meeting some interesting women online and found myself daring to try long distance.

 

 

 

 

If you think that will work for you, try it. Those women I met in the past I mentioned...I met them on message boards like this one. I used to chat on another dating board, and I dunno. Women there ended up liking me because I came off as "normal", rather than wildly insecure and/or misogynist.

 

I'm not saying you suddenly do that, but I would simply try to make long distant friends in some way that's comfortable to you, and eventually you two meet up. See if there is any chemistry in person. I did meet some of these women in person, but we ended up not feeling enough chemistry to try.

 

That or travel if you have the resources. Go places you want as a single woman, and you might meet guys. Maybe one will be a tall keeper and you two click, stay in contact, keep in touch, and eventually one moves to the other.

 

 

 

 

Aw thanks.

 

 

 

 

Depends on what kinds of men you want (other than tall). I have a black female friend in NYC who liked Caucasian guys, and ended up meeting a man from Germany whom she is still with now.

 

If you're into Black men, then just be patient, but be picky. Try to go places where the sophisticated guys go, as opposed to the "overgrown children" who simply want to stay single and party. This really goes for most men.

 

Maybe run marathons and such. Meet athletic guys who hopefully aren't narcissistic.

 

Thank you for your advice. I'm not interested in pursuing black men at all. They seem to want the black women with slightly admixed features...the African American look. I have West African features with darkskin even though I'm African American

[RedRobin]

Hey... I'd be happy to hook you up with the guy fondly known as "Mr. Sexy Talk"

 

He was 6'-5", black, huge, former competitive body-builder making 6+ figs.

 

Man-o-man was he a jerk too... and a stalker.

 

Want him? I bet I still got his number (that he called me from a bazillion times).

 

So, yea. They are out there. The tall ones you say you can't live without.

 

Personally, I'd be MORE than happy with a commitment minded shorter man with a good heart. I call 'em FUN SIZE. Send 'em my way.. I'll send the tall jerks your way, K? I seem to have my pick of those.

 

Edited: just saw your last post. I'm white with a black girl bootie. Maybe that is why he wouldn't stop calling me *shrug*

Edited March 25, 2013 by RedRobin

[MissJoness]

Hey... I'd be happy to hook you up with the guy fondly known as "Mr. Sexy Talk"

 

He was 6'-5", black, huge, former competitive body-builder making 6+ figs.

 

Man-o-man was he a jerk too... and a stalker.

 

Want him? I bet I still got his number (that he called me from a bazillion times).

 

So, yea. They are out there. The tall ones you say you can't live without.

 

Personally, I'd be MORE than happy with a commitment minded shorter man with a good heart. I call 'em FUN SIZE. Send 'em my way.. I'll send the tall jerks your way, K? I seem to have my pick of those.

 

Edited: just saw your last post. I'm white with a black girl bootie. Maybe that is why he wouldn't stop calling me *shrug*

I'm not interested in black men. You can have them

[grkBoy]

Thank you for your advice. I'm not interested in pursuing black men at all. They seem to want the black women with slightly admixed features...the African American look. I have West African features with darkskin even though I'm African American

 

I'd tell you to try cultural affairs and charity functions. Maybe walk-a-thons or marathons.

 

Find some European guys who are open minded and would find you intriguing. That's what my NYC friend did.

[RedRobin]

I'm not interested in black men. You can have them

 

Well, he was the first black guy who ever pursued me.

 

I'd be open to dating a man from any race. With few exceptions, I've found men from many different racial backgrounds and heights to be attractive.

 

I agree with the other poster... you'll have to expand your field.

 

If it makes you feel better, my standards aren't nearly as precise as yours and I'm having trouble because of where I live. If I were willing to agree to be a FWB or be with married men, players, or recovering addicts of one kind or another, I'd have my pick.

 

So I do feel your disappointment. I'm pretty much going the celibate route until I move out of this cow-town.

[ThaWholigan]

Well, this thread was unexpected

 

MissJoness needs some therapy ASAP. I pity the short man that settles for you.

 

Also, RedRobin's Round Booty. Who knew?

 

[iKING]

Well, this thread was unexpected

 

MissJoness needs some therapy ASAP. I pity the short man that settles for you.

 

Also, RedRobin's Round Booty. Who knew?

 

 

Robin has plenty of assets to her.

 

But no I wouldn't have guessed it either.

 

You should take Robin's advice OP, she knows what she's talking about.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Why does the height matter if he is good to you who cares?

[ThaWholigan]

Robin has plenty of assets to her.

 

But no I wouldn't have guessed it either.

 

You should take Robin's advice OP, she knows what she's talking about.

Yeah, always had a soft spot . She isn't crazy like udolipixie - just picky. Nothing wrong with that .

[kaylan]

I can never get what I'm looking for. The men I'm usually the most attracted to are 5'9 and over. However, it seems that the guys the most interested are usually short, 5'5-5'6 and I have zero attraction to short men at all. I dated a short guy for years and really resented the fact that he was not what I wanted. I used to wish he was taller all the time. The relationship was strained and we eventually went separate ways

 

It seems that no matter how ugly the guy is, if he's really tall, he seems to think he's quite the catch and plays a lot of games. I can barely get an ugly 6'0 tall guy to date or committ to me because even they are in high demand. They seem to really realize their value to women despite being facially challaneged. I'm at the point where I am very frustrated and bitter right now. It appears I may have to settle for a guy who is short but that is just not what I want. I dont like short men at all but I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life

Feel good to be average height 5'9 ftw.

 

(see what I did there? I used average height Jimmy Fallon for my average height victory dance xD)

[MissJoness]

I have a round booty too

[RedRobin]

Well, this thread was unexpected

 

MissJoness needs some therapy ASAP. I pity the short man that settles for you.

 

Also, RedRobin's Round Booty. Who knew?

 

 

It's the ballet. And a little genetics.

 

... but I'd rather talk about how my piano lessons are coming along... I'm making good progress on the soundtrack from "Amelie" and "The Piano"... although the soundtrack from "The Piano" can be very depressing. Same with "Amelie". They were both lonely and misunderstood.... but ultimately found happiness with men who loved them for them.

 

Thanks guys

[ThaWholigan]

I have a round booty too

Good . Hopefully if you do the right self-development it won't be the only asset you have

[ThaWholigan]

It's the ballet. And a little genetics.

 

... but I'd rather talk about how my piano lessons are coming along... I'm making good progress on the soundtrack from "Amelie" and "The Piano"... although the soundtrack from "The Piano" can be very depressing. Same with "Amelie". They were both lonely and misunderstood.... but ultimately found happiness with men who loved them for them.

 

Thanks guys

Yeah, I always play them really slowly at first......then I empty my mind before playing. I let my hands think before my brain does. I do prefer composition though.

 

Congrats on the piano playing . It can be very therapeutic.

[RedRobin]

Yeah, always had a soft spot . She isn't crazy like udolipixie - just picky. Nothing wrong with that .

 

I get on a rant every now and then... yes, I admit it... but I can't rant IRL. Have to be the tough, but nice, accessible one.

 

Thanks for being sweet

[RedRobin]

Yeah, I always play them really slowly at first......then I empty my mind before playing. I let my hands think before my brain does. I do prefer composition though.

 

Congrats on the piano playing . It can be very therapeutic.

 

That's the trick, isn't it? Letting your hands take over and trusting it. When it flows it is pretty amazing.

 

Wish more things in life were that way.

[ThaWholigan]

That's the trick, isn't it? Letting your hands take over and trusting it. When it flows it is pretty amazing.

 

Wish more things in life were that way.

Indeed - I think the key to a certain degree is acceptance. Problem is, most people struggle with it, so you have to be the one keeping your sanity while everyone around you goes mad. Especially in a highly emotive arena like dating where nobody has control or the level of self-awareness required to adjust to their own needs let alone that of others. It's why I always come back to help people even when it's not wanted. They will find out eventually.

 

Have faith .

[grkBoy]

All this talk of booty makes me wish there was a picture topic where I could put names with faces.

[MrCastle]

Red Robin age/location?