bf sleeps alot!!

[alexa137]

yes this might be stupid but just bored so gonna post and ask_

so my bf sleeps alot so dont get to see him as much as i want to, like for ex today he said he was coming over in the morning for breakfast! hello its 1:15pm and i still havent heard from him! i dont see him alot so just wondering if i should continue to date/see him or move on to someone who i can see as often as i would like?? yes i know people are busy with work etc.. but he literally sleeps everyday til like 1-2pm and then leaves for work at 3 and works 4-12 mon-fri and also lives about 30 mins away from me so its really hard, i would like to see him at least twice a week! i dont know what to say or do i really like him though but its hard having a relationship if you dont see each other that much!

[TouchedByViolet]

He is either not into you that much or might have some form of depression. I know I sleep a lot when I feel like doing nothing. Just lay in bed for long periods of time.

[Krieger]

does he every do anything other then sleep? I work full time and go to college and do not sleep that much 2-5 hours a night 7 days a week if i am lucky.

 

just stop calling him and contacting him to see if he calls you or not.

 

stop making the first move and see what happens then you will have an answer.

[MsSmurf]

Is he depressed or on medication? If not then either he isn't being honest about how he spends his time or he isn't that into you. I understand that sleep is important, but plenty of people (myself included) work full time, maintain several other activities/responsibilities, and date/have relationships all while sleeping 7-8hrs each night. All it takes is desire and time management.

[alexa137]

no meds that i know of just loves to sleep, he actually just woke u at 330pm and thats because i called him! hes a night owl! stays up late and sleeps all day

no depression, at least i dont think so, but ive only know him 2 months

i love sleep too but im always up by 8-9am but also in bed by midnight everynight!

he does call me and text me everyday and night so i dont think him not being into me is the problem

[dasein]

This is common for folks working that shift. It's hard to go right to sleep after work, and so he's staying up doing whatever several hours then going to sleep. He is getting off right when there is all kinds of nightlife to get into, and if he's doing that, he may be signalling he's not ready to have an adult relationship. If he's just hanging out at home staying up with tv or whatever after work, there's more hope. You need to address this with him, encourage him to get to bed 1-2 hours after he gets off, and then see if he changes. If not, sorry to say you two may not be externally compatible. Dated bartenders and waitresses in the past and had this issue, they were set in their ways, didn't work in the end. Good luck.

[ChatroomHero]

i love sleep too but im always up by 8-9am but also in bed by midnight everynight!

he does call me and text me everyday and night so i dont think him not being into me is the problem

 

If you work from 8am-5pm and then get home, you stay up until midnight, 7 hours later. If he works until midnight I would expect he probably doesn't go to bed until 6 or 7 am and then sleeps 7 or 8 hours. No different than you except for a different schedule.

 

I wouldn't expect him to work like that M-F then change up his schedule on weekend. If his sleep schedule is from 7am to 3:30pm it is only 8.5 hours and would not be out of line if he slept in a couple of hours to 4 or 5.

 

Would you change your schedule on the weekend to sleep during the day and be up at night when he is up? It doesn't sound like he sleeps too much, he just does it at different hours than you do based on his schedule,

[alexa137]

yea he does stay up late after work, weekends he sleeps alot too though, but he did visit me last night, but not til 930pm i have a kid in school so i kinda had to kick him out by midnight though

i dont work but still usually sleep like 12mid-8am i just cant sleep in unless im sick or something different,so I am willing to see him anytime basically

we have meet up for lunch a few times so i know he can do it if he really wants to i just dont to be the one to do all the pressuring and asking etc

[Bito]

I can empithise with him. I am a bit of a night owl myself and can find myself on very strange sleep cycles depending on what my responsibilities for the week entail. I cant fall asleep untill I am tired and i need a good 8 hours to function properly.

 

Talk to him about it. He might be willing to try harder.

[Els]

He doesn't sleep a lot, he sleeps on par for his schedule. It's unrealistic to expect him to shift his hours around to accommodate what you think a 'normal' schedule should be when his job requires those hours.

 

If you just want to meet him twice a week, why not meet him after he wakes up on weekends? You can basically have the whole afternoon and evening together for both days then.

[sabre80]

Swing shift is the most difficult and evil shift ever to work. Ill take graves over swing. More people have sleep disorders working swings than any other shift. In fact there is a disorder specifically named after this shift (do not recall the name).

[SmileFace]

I work 3 to 12 myself. I only wake up early on days I want to go to the gym or out somewhere, if I was in school right now I would be up ealier but I have no reason to... however my schedule is easily. Wake up at noon or 1pm - shower and b.s around ... work at 3 to midnight. Go to sleep at 5 am. I am not sleeping tons -- just on a different schedule.

 

It is hard for me to go right to sleep right after I finish work. Plus I don't want to wake up too early and be tired for work.