StanMusial Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 No, if you are in a relationship and you have no intentions on leaving your girlfriend/wife be cordial or indifferent to women. Stop flirting, being too friendly, staring, etc or giving any other signals that appear you are interested. This is probably going to happen to you again throughout your life. My advice is don't crush on guys in relationships with other women.
RedRobin Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Do the rest of us a favour. Don't stop being friendly! We promise not to take you seriously. I'll second that! I can usually tell the difference between a guy who has flirty (harmless) banter and one who is being manipulative. Doesn't bother me one bit. Friendly men improve the scenery 2
Barnacle-Bob Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Haha, really? Stop being 'overly' friendly and joking around? When I was married, I was always super nice, talkative, helpful, attentive, funny, outgoing....its called 'my personality'. It's probably also why I was married. A lot of women like those attributes, and when they meet a guy who has them, I don't know....they want to stay with them? Not to mention, guys in relationships tend to be accustomed to the role of being attentive to women, so it sort of just happens naturally. So, a guy gets married, and he's supposed to develop a new personality? Another idea would be to stop falling for guys 30 seconds after you meet them.
Estate Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 No, if you are in a relationship and you have no intentions on leaving your girlfriend/wife be cordial or indifferent to women. Stop flirting, being too friendly, staring, etc or giving any other signals that appear you are interested. Do you hear yourself??? Have you repeated any of this out loud to yourself before posting and heard how crazy it sounds??? So some guy acted nice to you... it has nothing to do with your perception of the world. He sounds like he is just a good guy WHICH IS WHY he is already taken. Is he supposed to be a jerk now? NO! He probably IS a nice guy. You said YOURSELF you are desperate... so you're probably taking everything as a sign of interest... he was JUST BEING NICE. Jeez... if he was an ******* you'd be posting how all guys are *******... I mean, do you hear yourself? How can I guy win with a girl like you?
phineas Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Can you give a concrete example of something they do that shows romantic interest? Yes. I'd like specific examples also. I know people do this, but I also know OP is cray cray from some of her previous threads.
Shocksock Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I hate it when I meet a man who goes out of his to help me, open doors for me, carry my things. I think men in relationships should be indifferent towards the opposite sex, just to avoid confusion, mixed messages unless he plans on leaving his partner And yet many women complain about men not acting like gentlemen these days and then complain about them leading women on when they do So guys... now we have all the insights we need. Stop being a jerk to women... now, stop being nice to women.. We've solved the puzzle, we know what we need to do now , lol.
Shocksock Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Do you hear yourself??? Have you repeated any of this out loud to yourself before posting and heard how crazy it sounds??? Next she'll be posting about how a Bartender lead her on and we all know how flirty Bartenders can be (helps business).
Author MissJoness Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 Do you hear yourself??? Have you repeated any of this out loud to yourself before posting and heard how crazy it sounds??? So some guy acted nice to you... it has nothing to do with your perception of the world. He sounds like he is just a good guy WHICH IS WHY he is already taken. Is he supposed to be a jerk now? NO! He probably IS a nice guy. You said YOURSELF you are desperate... so you're probably taking everything as a sign of interest... he was JUST BEING NICE. Jeez... if he was an ******* you'd be posting how all guys are *******... I mean, do you hear yourself? How can I guy win with a girl like you? Please stop with the "he's just being nice" excuse. He was being more than nice, he was clearly acting as if he was interested in me. I'm not dumb. He didn't even work in the same department as me, however he decided to go four floors up, & all the way over to my work station everyday just to chit chat with me and no one else?? I observed to see if he was being friendly with the other ladies, and NOPE, just me. :rolleyes:He was obviously just an attention whore who was using me Again, men need to stop doing this, because it sends mixed signals to some women. And it's very annoying.
dasein Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I think posters may be leaping to an extreme version of OP's concerns unduly. Here are some examples from my own life. New receptionist I don't know starts up a casual friendship with me different from other people at work. Pays special attention in lots of ways, flirts, says things like "we should go out sometime." Goes on for months, as I try not to date from work, "what are you doing over the weekend, we should get together." After lots of this, I start seeing her as a prospect, have more contact with her, and come to find out, she's MARRIED! kids, and has been the whole time. No ring worn. I feel my time has been wasted even considering dating her. Why is she doing this? Attention. Bank teller, same deal, special attention, gives me a small gift, always asking weekend plans, we actually go to lunch casually. She then is hinting about getting together at night. Turns out she's married. Waste of time or cheater, neither good. New coworker in brokerage firm, same as above scenarios, this one starts calling house at night wanting long chats about life generally, starts to get flirty, ends up married. Never told me. Waste of my time. Just a few personal experiences, many more, all the same pattern. Special attention beyond politeness from married or involved people who know full well they are flirting, and purposefully don't tell they are married or involved due to attention seeking. People not wearing rings because they want attention in a sexual way, inconsiderate, selfish. 1
Author MissJoness Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 Yes. I'd like specific examples also. I know people do this, but I also know OP is cray cray from some of her previous threads. A male co-worker would always say "hi" to me whenever we were arriving or leaving for work. No big deal. I didn't think much of it. but then he took it further when he found out what department I worked in, and would go four floors up just to chit chat and flirt with me, and assist me with my clerical duties. Then he started offering me rides home. I never asked but he offered. Come to find out he is in a relationship. He was just being an attentionwhore 1
RedRobin Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I think posters may be leaping to an extreme version of OP's concerns unduly. Here are some examples from my own life. New receptionist I don't know starts up a casual friendship with me different from other people at work. Pays special attention in lots of ways, flirts, says things like "we should go out sometime." Goes on for months, as I try not to date from work, "what are you doing over the weekend, we should get together." After lots of this, I start seeing her as a prospect, have more contact with her, and come to find out, she's MARRIED! kids, and has been the whole time. No ring worn. I feel my time has been wasted even considering dating her. Why is she doing this? Attention. Bank teller, same deal, special attention, gives me a small gift, always asking weekend plans, we actually go to lunch casually. She then is hinting about getting together at night. Turns out she's married. Waste of time or cheater, neither good. New coworker in brokerage firm, same as above scenarios, this one starts calling house at night wanting long chats about life generally, starts to get flirty, ends up married. Never told me. Waste of my time. Just a few personal experiences, many more, all the same pattern. Special attention beyond politeness from married or involved people who know full well they are flirting, and purposefully don't tell they are married or involved due to attention seeking. People not wearing rings because they want attention in a sexual way, inconsiderate, selfish. I agree the above was inappropriate...
tbf Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Please stop with the "he's just being nice" excuse. He was being more than nice, he was clearly acting as if he was interested in me. I'm not dumb. He didn't even work in the same department as me, however he decided to go four floors up, & all the way over to my work station everyday just to chit chat with me and no one else?? I observed to see if he was being friendly with the other ladies, and NOPE, just me. :rolleyes:He was obviously just an attention whore who was using meAn attention whore wouldn't be going to you. He'd be soliciting female attention, everywhere he goes. Haven't you ever had a friend go out of their way to talk to you? Again, men need to stop doing this, because it sends mixed signals to some women. And it's very annoying.If you fall so easily for men, why not consider the attitude that every man is being friendly, unless he asks you out? Life's a lot simpler that way.
apple OR orange Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 wait, is this another reason why men HAVE to act a certain way becouse women say we have to do it.... Well in this case, i HATE IT when a woman says "yeah buy me a drink" and then wont have sex with me.... i think this should stop as well. muppet!
Estate Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 He was obviously just an attention whore Yep, definitely *him*.
chex Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I'm talking about men who flirt, joke, and display all signs that they are interested when they are clearly taken. It leads women like me on, and makes me think you are interested when in reality you just want my attention I literally joke with everyone I meet. I joke with the guy with downs who lives next door. I joke with the elderly lady I know in a nursing home who I bring to church. I joke with fat girls. I joke with pretty girls. I joke with nerds, I joke with athletic guys. Not a sign of interest in my book o3o
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