MarinaX Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Sometimes the sadness comes in waves- I'll feel fine and then BOOM, I think of him and I feel awful again. Some mornings I wake up feeling like I don't want to get out of bed and some nights I can't fall asleep. Just wondering what those of you who are also coping tell yourselves during these waves to feel fine again. What is your thought process that allows you to stay strong? Just need some encouragement...thanks!
Martor Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 My thought process is exactly yours. They are waves, and the lows of sadness will get shorter and shorter as time goes on. 1
lop98 Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I feel exactly the same. Yesterday afternoon was amazing, I got creative cooking for the first time since the breakup, I blasted some music, cooked for friends, summery afternoon, for a moment I figured getting over some s**t wasn't that hard after all. Fast forward to 6 am this morning, I had a dream with him, woke up with this urge to check out what he's been doing with his new girlfriend on facebook, I'm proud that I stopped myself and came here and ranted instead. This site's actually helping me a lot. It's all rage and weakness right now, I can't even share these thoughts with friends because I don't want to be that person that CANT STOP talking about her breakup and how that person is a bastard.. but that's actually what's on my mind and it's been good to drain it all here (sorry, btw ). I feel considerably better than two days ago. I also talked to someone I really trust but that I hadn't even updated on the breakup: my sister. We've always had a competitive relationship where I'm always to blame for everything that happens to me so I knew she'd blame the breakup on me, and it was amazing to feel her support, to tell me this guy is an attention-seeker, manipulative player. That lifted me up a lot, knowing it's not entirely my fault or a mess I made or like he said "a chance in a lifetime that I'm letting pass". I know I dodged a bullet with the breakup, but it still burns! One thing that hasn't helped me is being in the same place for too long, I can't be out for too long but I cannot be home too long either, it's a nightmare, I have to keep on moving, it's expensive for the financially broken like me but it's the only way.. it keeps me from thinking too much. Oh and getting new music I guess, I hate all my music because it reminds me of either him or myself, the two people I detest the most right now.. 1
Author MarinaX Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 I feel the exact same with my friends. It's been a week and I feel already that I've talked their ears off.. I'm at the point where I have to manage my own feelings even though all I ever feel like doing is ranting.
hockeyfan99 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 i TOTALLY understand the pain you are going thru. i went thru and am currently going thru a HARD HARD BU. but it does get better, i promise. its been 6 months now, 1 month NC (until last night when she texted m, THAT HURT) but as each day passes its gets just a tiny bit better. my advice to you is to try to keep busy as much as you possible can. for the first few months i was numb and didn't feel like doing ANYTHING. all i would do is wake up, go to work, lay around after work and then go to bed. i knew i had to break that cycle b/c all i did was lay there and think about HER and cry like crazy. i have never missed someone in all my life. but it was not the right relationship even though i love her more than anything in the universe. BUT, you have to move on. GET OUT. even if its just for a nice long ride in the car. (i do this EVERY night) go for a long walk somewhere that makes you happy. (i do this often too) spend time with your friends as much as you can. don't get me wrong, you will have plenty of moments when you think about your ex and its gonna hurt and there really isn't anything you can do to block out the thoughts. but when i feel that i'm thinking about her too much thats when i GET OUT. the important thing to remember is that only time is going to help. (i know, i hate that saying too but its true) JUST KEEP BUSY!!
polyglot Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Sometimes the sadness comes in waves- I'll feel fine and then BOOM, I think of him and I feel awful again. Some mornings I wake up feeling like I don't want to get out of bed and some nights I can't fall asleep. Just wondering what those of you who are also coping tell yourselves during these waves to feel fine again. What is your thought process that allows you to stay strong? Just need some encouragement...thanks! Time is the best remedy for all of this and keeping yourself busy and hanging around with people whom you trust, will give a positive feeling.
RiceaRoni Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Well what makes me feel better when I'm feeling down is I start watching comedy movies or funny videos on Youtube to make myself laugh Then if I can I go out with friends, and we watch movies, play video games, go out to the mall, the gym, etc. Friends and family will always be there for you..keep that in mind. Also I just think to myself that if I truly loved my ex like I said I did...I would want him to be happy, no matter his decisions...so I just tell myself that I want for him to be happy, even if it isn't with me.. Just keep in mind that you will find someone who finds you valuable to keep in their life anyone who lets you go didnt see how valuable you were. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I find the only thing that helps me to a great degree, is the gym. I normally work out pretty serious, but turned it up to a new level because of the BU. Ironically I think I have made great gains in this time, however I am an emotional wreck...lol... hang in there. It will get better(I hope so anyway)... TFOY
Compromize Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Sometimes the sadness comes in waves- I'll feel fine and then BOOM, I think of him and I feel awful again. Some mornings I wake up feeling like I don't want to get out of bed and some nights I can't fall asleep. I think all of us going through a breakup with someone we truly loved feel this exact way. Maybe not true of someone who was cheated on but not sure. I had a great night on Thursday, felt OK with being alone and BAM missed her like crazy this weekend. I am a single father and have my kids 90% of the time, can't really just go out and do what I want so it feels like I have a TON of time to dwell. I try and fill it the best I can, hang out with my kids, lots of housework and yard work, working out, reading, etc. What I miss the most right now is the intimate physical contact, not just talking sex. I went through a miserable marriage that lacked any form of intimacy for a very long time and my EX gave me that. We had a wonderful, fulfilling physical relationship and on top of that we were kindred spirits. Life and kids of our own just got in the way of us being together. For her at least, I was committed to making it work and to her. But it takes 2.... Anyway it seems like getting over a BU with someone you truly love and want is a very non-linear process. One day fine the next sad, the next angry. It's made me an emotional wreck at Times and numb at others. I guess the only real way to heal our wounds is time. Everything else is a temporary fix,a band-aid that hurts when you rip it off. Working out has been my only true solice where I can not think about her for at least 10 min periods in a strech. At least I have not dreamed about her in a couple nights. The dreams are the worst because they seem so real and we are still together in all of them I have had.
breakmyfall Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Mornings are still the worst for me, I hate that hollow feeling in my chest as soon as I open my eyes, the fact that we only broke up because of the long distance and that he still misses me and reaches out to me makes it so hard to move on, but i have to...trying NC again
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