pies Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 -Let's say last year someone is having problems with their partner (LTR) and they meet you, you have a connection but then they fix stuff with their partner and suddenly back off and cut out contact with you. You are left hung up on this person. -When you are already recovering from the crush and getting over it, almost a year later, they start talking a lot to you again, even flirting and suggesting stuff like "when stuff clears up, which may take a while, I would like to meet up with you". You keep your distance because you know they are still taken. -Last night they tell you they and their partner had a BU a couple days ago, claiming they both agreed to since months ago. Maybe I should be joyous about this, but I am not. I really care for this person and I have a serious interest in them, I don't want to be their rebound crush (am I already?)... I just don't quite know what to do. He reaches out for me, which is really tempting but I want him to have the space he needs to solve his issues first. How can I give him said space without giving him a feeling of rejection if he continues to pursue me? I want to leave the door open for that time when stuff clears up, but it's going to be very awkward in the meanwhile since we see eachother every other day. Thanks for your help!
veggirl Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 I would tell that person to screw off. They already chose someone over you once and now "hey please wait around for me while I figure my s.hit out". No way. You should not be settling for this person. 1
Author pies Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 I would tell that person to screw off. They already chose someone over you once and now "hey please wait around for me while I figure my s.hit out". No way. You should not be settling for this person. That was so blunt I liked it. But does that mean I will never be able to have a relationship with him? I respect his choice of not dumping his GF for a random girl he just met back then, I have met great people while in relationships and decided not to dump my partners, which doesn't mean that today, being single, it would be wrong for me to have a relationship with one of these people.
veggirl Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Just tell him he can contact you when he is emotionally available to date and you will see what's up then. And then go about your life and date other people, if he reappears at some point and is ready to date, you can consider it. But don't wait around for him.
iKING Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 The only way to avoid it is to not become it. He's going to need time to get over his ex. Go on with your life as usual and eventually he will be ready for another relationship. Don't make it a priority in your life until he's emotionally available, and you're not at his call. Let him come to you if/when he's ready. That doesn't mean ignore him, but don't go out of your way to woo him. Rare it is when a rebound works out. 1
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